


In The Aftermath

by extemporaneousmusings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, M/M, MWPP, post prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 42,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extemporaneousmusings/pseuds/extemporaneousmusings
Summary: “I’m done, Sirius. You say you want to try and make it up to me? To somehow appease me?”Sirius jerked his head in a nod.“Then leave me the fuck alone. Seriously. I don’t want to talk to you.”At that Remus turned, without waiting for a response, and flung the door open. He strode out and around the corner without looking back, and Sirius watched him leave, sinking to the floor and pulling his knees up to his chest.Sirius and Remus struggle to come to terms with how to exist in themselves, and around each other, after Sirius tells Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow.





	In The Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> The most elaborate of thanks to Meg for being my enthusiastic beta and cheerleader throughout the (very) lengthy process that writing this fic entailed.

Sirius woke up blinking, his eyes straining against the bright light that filtered through the thick glass windows of Gryffindor tower. For a moment his mind was clear, until the pit dropped back out in his stomach and tension returned to his body. It was the Third Morning. The third day since he had ruined the most important thing that had ever happened to him. He huffed and rolled over, hoping to fall back asleep. It was fruitless though, he already knew. Sleep had not come easily to him since The Utterly Enormous Fuck-Up, as he was calling it in his head, and now that the room was full of light it certainly would not return. He buried his face in the pillow and inhaled deeply, but after three nights of tossing, turning, and bitter crying, Remus’s bed no longer smelled like the light, comforting musk that Sirius was accustomed to. Finding no solace in his own scent permeating the crumpled bed sheets, Sirius opened his eyes fully, squinting to allow his eyes to adjust to the early morning light.

Normally Sirius preferred to sleep burrowed deep under the covers, with the hangings of the four-poster bed firmly closed to allow for total, soothing darkness. For the past three nights, however, Sirius had left the hangings open on Remus’s bed, in case the boy returned from the infirmary in the middle of the night. The last thing he wanted was for Remus to come home, crawl into bed, and be unpleasantly surprised to find Sirius already there uninvited. Sirius knew how pathetic he was being, but he just couldn’t bring himself to return to his own bed. This fact had not gone unnoticed by James, who had rolled his eyes and scoffed harshly every time he entered the room to find Sirius still wallowing, curled up on Remus’s bed.

Lifting himself up on an elbow, Sirius briefly surveyed his surroundings, noting that for once he was the first person awake. Sighing, he swung his feet over the side of the bed to touch the cold flagstones. He couldn’t remember the last time he had showered, not since before the moon. Frankly, a shower had been the last thing on his mind for the past few days. But suddenly it had become too much, and all he wanted was to stand under the scalding hot water and try to wash away the sticky film of sweat, tears, and sorrow that clung to his body.

Sirius made his way to the bathroom and turned the water on as hot as it would go before stripping and stepping under the spray. Remus’s shampoo and body wash were standing next to his own bottles on the sill, and Sirius hesitated before grabbing the other boy’s products. He lathered up the shampoo between his palms, and the muggle gel made his fingers tangle in his hair more often than his usual potion. He didn’t mind, though, inhaling the clean, lemony fragrance and tipping his head back to avoid getting any in his eyes. His hands trembled when he uncapped the body wash, its scent far more powerful and familiar. He soaped up his limbs and then slowly washed away the suds, no longer wanting to be in the shower.

The shame still clung to his skin, impervious to the heavy stream of water pounding down on him. He stared down at his hands before clenching them tightly into fists. They looked no different than usual—slender, aristocratic, and thoroughly his. No scars or calluses graced the smooth skin; such a contrast to Remus’s hands which were gridded with scars on every surface, old and silver, new, pink, and angry, overlapping and intertwining like an elaborate tapestry of pain and experience.

Sirius grasped his hair harshly between his fingers and let out a muffled groan which echoed off the tiled walls and floor of the bathroom. He exhaled heavily and let his forehead clunk against the wall before pushing off and finishing his shower.

After he finished rinsing, Sirius turned the water off and grabbed his towel from its hook. His reflection was distorted in the cloudy mirror, but despite the steam the dark purple of his black eye was visible. He reached out and swiped a diagonal swatch of the mirror clear with his palm. Without the softening effect of condensation, the bruise appeared even more jarring against the pristine, pale skin of his reflection. His right eye was no longer swollen shut, though his eyelid still drooped dramatically. The bruising spread down onto his cheekbone and up the bridge of his nose, and the deep purple faded to a mottled yellowy orange along the edges. The whites of his eye were reddened by popped blood vessels, though his left eye was red as well, evidence of the tears he had been shedding. James had punched him on the First Day, right away when he returned to the dorm to confront a sulking, terrified Sirius. They hadn’t spoken since, or even exchanged looks, and Peter had avoided him completely too. Sirius blinked, and then quickly looked away, unable to continue looking at the familiar sight of his reflection.

When he re-entered the bedroom, he was fussing with securing the towel around his waist and didn’t notice the presence of someone new. He only made it a bit further before a prickling sensation on the back of his neck caused him to freeze mid-step. Sirius slowly looked up to see Remus standing at the foot of his mussed bed. Sirius’s hand stilled, fingertips clenching the soft towel, and he gazed wide-eyed at a very battered looking Remus.

Remus’s lips were raw from incessant biting, a habit he indulged whenever he was especially stressed or upset. A new pink scar curved from behind his ear, dragging along the line of his jaw, a particular favorite place for Sirius to kiss. Sirius wondered what other new scars were hidden below the boy’s clothes, and whether he’d ever get to see them. The bags under Remus’s eyes were heavy and dark, and he stood with his shoulders tense, as though he were ready to bolt at any second. Sirius had forgotten how bad Remus used to look after the full moon. The past few months had been kinder to his body, as the recovery after a night of romping with the animagi was significantly smoother.

Remus stared unblinking at Sirius for a long moment before dropping his gaze and tucking his chin to his chest.

“Hey,” Sirius whispered, not wanting to wake the others and destroy the only moment he’d had with Remus in days. Remus didn’t respond, or look up, but curled further in on himself, glancing again toward the unmade bed.

“Remus, can I, can we talk?” Sirius stepped forward a little, but stopped when Remus faltered, and then drew back.

“Please,” his voice broke, and the tears he had been battling for days were back, streaming down his face. Remus’s head jerked with the sound, but he kept his gaze resolutely down, shoulders hunched, and toes turned in.

“Remus, I haven’t seen you since class on Friday and it’s been driving me mad. I stayed away, like you asked, but I can’t stand it anymore. I’m so, so sorry. You know I would rather die than ever hurt you, Remus please.” Sirius’s whispers grew louder and louder as he became more desperate, and a broken sob escaped his lips when the words finished tumbling out.

Remus turned further away from Sirius and bent to remove a fresh set of clothes from his trunk. He began to walk towards the bathroom and paused without turning back when he reached the door, fingers grasping the doorframe so tightly that his knuckles were instantly white.

“I can’t, Sirius. Not yet,” he muttered, before disappearing into the bathroom.

Sirius’s breath hitched, and he trembled attempting to keep quiet. Overcome with the emotions of seeing Remus for the first time since The Fuck-Up, Sirius finally gave into his sorrow and self-loathing, and transformed into Padfoot. He had stayed in human form until now, not wanting his first sight of Remus to be in the gray-toned eyes of the dog. But now that Remus had made it clear that he was still unable to look at, let alone speak with Sirius, he allowed the comfort of his canine form to subsume him. Sirius crawled under Remus’s bed and snuffled a few times, nosing the errant socks and discarded jumpers, before laying his large head on his paws. Emotions were much less complex as Padfoot, though the gnawing sensations of horror and devastating guilt remained.

After a little while the shower turned off, and Remus padded back into the dorm, his damp feet leaving slight tracks on the stones. Sirius lifted his head, drinking in the sight of Remus even though it was only from his ankles down. The feet stopped in front of his trunk and Sirius heard rustling and the soft murmur of Remus speaking to himself under his breath.

“Here we go,” the boy finally said, after a few moments of rooting about in the trunk. Remus pulled on a fresh pair of socks from the batch his mum had just owled to him earlier in the term, hands appearing in Sirius’s eyesight briefly while Remus struggled to maintain his balance, clearly unsteady and exhausted. Then he moved over to the door to put his shoes on. After a brief pause at the door Remus’s feet disappeared from sight, and the light echoing clip of his boots in the stairwell grew fainter as he descended to the common room. Sirius whined softly and lowered his head to his paws once more.

Shortly after Remus left the dorm the other boys began to stir. Frank and Peter trundled about their business while James still remained behind his curtains. Once the showers were free James leapt up and scampered to the bathroom, grumbling to himself about being the last one in. James usually preferred to snag the first shift in the bathroom, and with his Quidditch schedule he was generally the first one up, especially since Remus had gotten lazy about his early mornings after he had started sharing a bed with Sirius.

James strolled out of the bathroom several minutes later, interrupting the quiet conversation Peter and Frank had been having by the windows about whether or not the weather would hold for the Hufflepuff/Slytherin Quidditch match over the weekend.

“Where is he?” he asked, feet planted by Remus’s empty bed. Peter and Frank both replied with noncommittal noises and James huffed before bending over, his bespectacled face appearing in Padfoot’s line of sight. Sirius barely blinked before the face was gone, and James was walking back towards his bed again.

“Finally succumbed to Padfoot, I’m surprised he took so long,” James muttered to Peter, who had joined him between their beds. Frank cleared his throat by the door, used to the cryptic whispering of the Marauders at this point and said,

“I think I’m gonna head down for breakfast, if you lads would like to come.”

James and Peter hummed in assent, and the three of them trooped out the door.

“Where is Sirius?” Frank asked on the landing. “He hasn’t left Remus’s bed for days.”

“I dunno,” muttered James darkly. The rest of his response was lost as the boys moved out of Padfoot’s earshot.

Shortly after the boys left, Padfoot’s stomach began to grumble and Sirius realized that he hadn’t properly eaten in days either. He crawled out from under the bed and transformed, before swiftly dressing in clean robes. He hesitated a moment, and then reached into his trunk and to grab a pair of Remus’s socks that he had swiped a few weeks back. Remus’s mum knitted him the coziest, warmest wool socks in all sorts of silly colors and patterns, which was something that Sirius gave him endless shit for. Nevertheless, he slipped on the pink socks, laced up his battered Doc Martens, and left the room, giving Remus’s bed one last look before he descended the stairs.

Breakfast was in full swing when Sirius walked into the Great Hall. The tables were full, and the morning clamor was slightly deafening after several days without speaking to anyone. Instead of sauntering over to the middle of the Gryffindor table and squeezing in by his friends, forcing all the younger students around them to slide down to accommodate him, Sirius sat at the end of the table, a few seats removed from some timid second year girls who looked at him briefly before they scooted closer together and resumed their conversation.

Sirius hadn’t spotted Remus at the table when he walked in, which wasn’t surprising. Remus usually grabbed toast and tea from the kitchens and hid out in empty classrooms when he didn’t want to socialize at meals. Peter had glanced over when he entered the hall and then turned to whisper to James, while James had simply nodded and continued eating, not looking up from his plate.

            

Remus cursed softly as he spilled scalding hot tea on his trembling fingers again, the third time this morning. He was curled up in a window nook concealed behind a tapestry of Morgana la Fey on the seventh floor, nursing a thermos of tea and a plate of dry toast. Usually on mornings when he skipped out on breakfast in the Great Hall he went to an empty classroom, typically one in the Charms corridor because of their big bay windows. Today, however, he wanted an especially secluded location. As far as he was aware, none of the other Marauders knew about this spot. Although if he had to guess, Pete was the most likely candidate; he always knew the best hiding spots around the castle. After their interaction in the dorm earlier he doubted that Sirius would try and sniff out his location, but Remus didn’t want to take the chance.

Remus exhaled deeply, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to block out the exchange he had just had with a broken-looking Sirius. He knew that Peter and James hadn’t really had any interaction with Sirius since The Betrayal. He had asked about Sirius once on the second morning, after his bones no longer felt as though they were being re-forged in the depths of a volcano, and the panicked realization that he had narrowly avoided slaughtering one of his classmates had subsided to a dull, persistent throb. James had huffed and glanced away, shoulders hunched, before looking right back into his eyes.

“He seems pretty fucked up, Moony. I’ll deal with it when I can stand to look at him again.” Remus had closed his eyes at that, the hot tears of betrayal and heartache seeping out nevertheless.

When he left the hospital wing this morning Remus had hoped that Sirius would be asleep in his own bed. That way Remus could slip in, grab his things, and briefly look at Sirius’s sleeping form without having to say anything, before heading out again. Unfortunately for him, none of his half-baked hopes panned out, and instead Remus had been confronted with the dismal remnants of Sirius wallowing in his bed, and then a wet, deranged Sirius stumbled out of the bathroom pleading for things Remus just wasn’t capable of yet. Remus had been able to keep his breathing steady through his shower, tilting his head down and inhaling deeply through his nose while the water pounded down on his head. Smelling Padfoot under his bed as he got dressed had been what finally got to him, and after reaching the common room Remus breathed in a few shuddering gulps before the soft shaking tears overtook him again.

If you asked Remus to tell you the first time he realized that he was falling in love with Sirius Black he would shrug and cast his eyes down, uttering something sharp and sarcastic about how it snuck up on him after years of close proximity and over exposure. When Remus asked himself that question, late at night, the aforementioned Marauder snuffling through a dream against his shoulder, buried under soft quilts with the light tingle of extra-strong silencing charms clinging to the bed curtains, he would say it started the first moment they met.

Remus had watched the raven-haired boy in line ahead of him at the sorting ceremony, mesmerized by the sheer charisma that crackled through the air around him. He laughed and smirked and flipped his hair, but when he stepped up to the stool and the tattered hat descended onto his head, Remus caught a flicker of fear in his eyes, a slim crack in his façade that revealed tumultuous insecurity seething under the surface, the sort that Remus recognized instantly. As soon as the hat had proclaimed ‘Gryffindor’ the show was on again, and the jubilant, newly traitorous boy skipped off towards the red and gold, relishing in the gasps and glares from the Slytherin table.

Remus hadn’t known what to expect from the sorting. Until three short weeks before term started he hadn’t thought he would ever be able to attend Hogwarts. He looked around the enormous Great Hall in awe of the sheer magical spectacle; it was like nothing he had ever seen before. The magic Remus knew was soft and small, inconspicuously whispered at home to facilitate chores, or warm up tea that had gone cold. This was a whole new world: loud, brash, and resplendent. Remus had been so distracted that McGonagall called his name twice before he noticed and sheepishly made his way up to the short stool to be sorted. The hat had paused for a long moment when placed on his head, and the silence seemed so expansive that Remus thought perhaps something was wrong, and he wasn’t meant to be at Hogwarts after all. Finally, the hat let out a deep breath and said,

“Young werewolf, one day I hope you will realize that the world is full of far more terrible monsters than you, wizards and men alike. Until then, I think it is best you spend your time in GRYFFINDOR!”

Remus startled at the shout, and stood so quickly that he became dizzy, gingerly making his way down to the Gryffindor table after McGonagall retrieved the hat. Without even realizing it he found himself seated directly across from the boy he had been watching earlier. Looking up, bright grey eyes met his and a posh, aristocratic voice exclaimed,

“Bloody hell, those are some wicked scars, mate!”

Remus winced on instinct before freezing in shock. His parents never spoke directly about his scars, though when he was little his mum had sometimes snuck into his room when she thought that he was asleep to weep and trace them lightly with her fingertips. The muggle children at primary school had teased him about the lines that ran red and angry across his face, and his teachers had always eyed them with worry and slight suspicion. Admiration, bolstered with expletives, was an entirely new reaction, however.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Remus refocused his eyes on the boy in front of him and said “Thanks. I’d tell you what they’re from but I’m afraid I’ve been sworn to secrecy, and you probably wouldn’t even believe me anyway.” That garnered a glorious arched eyebrow and a smirk in response.

“We’ll see about that. I’m Sirius, by the way” he said.

“Remus Lupin, nice to meet you,” Remus replied. Sirius extended his hand across the table and Remus paused, not used to casual physical contact with anyone, let alone a stranger.

Shortly after this exchange Peter and James slid in alongside them and the conversation carried on in different directions. Remus was mostly quiet during dinner, piping up every now and then with a question or quip, but he mainly watched Sirius. He was enchanted with the flashing teeth revealed by frequent smiles, the curve of his neck when he threw his head back to laugh, and the way his eyes flickered to the table behind Remus’s back exactly four times during the course of the meal before he snapped his attention back to the boisterous conversation at hand. He was a whirlwind of motion and energy, and Remus basked in the glow.

Remus shook his head, frustrated at his wandering thoughts. The last thing he needed in the aftermath of having his heart ripped out and shredded into uneven chunks, was to reminisce about the softer, less complicated origins of his feelings. He had always known, even from the beginning, the latent potential that was trapped inside Sirius. He was a spring wound too tight. Although his numerous pranking spectacles and resulting detentions occasionally took the edge off, he had always been a powder keg about to explode. During the course of their relationship Remus had dreamed up countless terrible scenarios in which Sirius would somehow lose control of the last, tattered restraints that somehow contained his rage and manic self-destructive tendencies. All of which resulted in heartache, they often involved some kind of betrayal, and even occasionally ended with someone’s death. None of those morbid, deeply internalized imaginings came close to the devastating betrayal he felt from Sirius’s actions.

Remus wasn’t sure how he’d be able to go on. He had a meeting with Dumbledore this afternoon during a free period, but until then he had to get through Monday’s classes, all of which included Sirius and some of which also included Snape. This month’s moon had fallen on a Friday, which was a rare and lucky occurrence. Remus had downed a few pepper-up potions to get through his morning classes before reporting to Madam Pomfery in the hospital wing, only missing out on his two afternoon lectures before the moon rose. Though the recovery this month had been especially awful, it had coincided with a weekend, a Hogsmeade one at that, which had left the castle empty and blissfully quiet.

Remus cast a quick tempus charm with his wand and realized that he had just 15 minutes to get down to the dungeons for double potions with Slytherin. Gathering up his things, he banished the plate and toast crumbs back to the kitchen and slid the thermos into his bag before slipping out from behind the tapestry. The last time they had been up on this floor together Peter had shown him a hidden staircase a few corridors over that led straight down to behind the supply closets in the dungeons. Remus slowly jogged down the stairs, wincing at his still sore limbs, and turned the corner to reach the correct hallway once he got to the dungeons.

The other three Marauders were uncharacteristically early this morning. James and Peter were leaning against the wall by the door talking softly while Sirius lingered a few feet away looking down at his feet, clearly not engaged in the conversation. Slughorn opened the door to the classroom right as Remus arrived, so he entered the room first, heading to his usual seat in the back corner by one of the ventilation shafts. Peter and James followed immediately after him, while Sirius lingered in the hallway.

“Pete, would you mind sitting with me during class today?” Remus asked, looking up after he placed his bag under the desk.

“Sure thing, Moony,” Peter replied, plopping down in the seat next to him. James paused at that and looked questioningly at Remus.

“I think you need to stand looking at him again, Prongs. Just sit with him instead of Wormy in classes. You don’t have to talk any more than you want to, but it’ll be easier this way.”

“Easier than what, letting him sit alone and wallow in what he’s done?” James asked.

“You and I both know that leaving Sirius alone for too long only results in terrible things,” Remus replied.

“He’s already done something terrible,” James argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You don’t have to remind me of that, James,” Remus said, causing the other boy to shift uncomfortably under the slight reprimand.“I just think it’s time for you to start talking to him again. I can’t, I don’t know when I’ll be able to bring myself to, so you sitting with him is only helping me.”

James heaved a sigh before nodding his agreement. “Alright Moony, whatever you think is best.”

While the three boys sorted out seating arrangements the rest of the class filtered in, heading to their usual seats. Sirius waited until the room was nearly full before skulking in, hands shoved deep into his robe’s pockets. His gaze flickered over to his normal seat, occupied by Peter and then to the rest of the room, trying to find an open spot.

“Oi. Sirius,” James called as Sirius hesitated in finding a seat.“You’ve got Wormy’s seat today.”

Sirius turned to face his friend, eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. James merely shrugged and gestured gruffly at the seat next to him. Sirius hunched his shoulders a bit more before moving between the tables over to the table and dropping into the seat.

During Slughorn’s tangential and utterly useless intro Sirius stared blankly into space, completely uninterested in the oblique connection between the discovery of the five proper uses of flobberworm mucus and one of Slughorn’s former students. When the plump man finished his monologue, he proceeded to unlock the supply cabinet in the front of the classroom before stepping into his office to grab a book. Out of habit Sirius stood and moved to the front of the classroom to collect ingredients needed for two batches of Calming Draught. He vaguely registered Peter following behind him but didn’t take too much notice of his surroundings until he brushed up against Snape while reaching to snag a bunch of lavender off its hook on the top shelf.

Snape whirled around as if he had been burned and glared at Sirius with a ferocity that was unparalleled, even after five years of unmitigated animosity.

“Watch where you’re going Black,” he seethed. Sirius, as if awakening from a trance, snapped to his full height, lifted his chin and glowered down at the Slytherin.

“Sod off Snivellus, and be thankful that you’re still fucking alive,” he breathed in a caustic whisper that belied the slight tremble to his hands. Snape’s eyes widened slightly, and his hand twitched toward his wand, but before he got the chance to draw it from his pocket Peter stepped between them. Turning his back to Snape the blonde boy grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, his thumbs digging into the soft flesh beneath Sirius’s collarbones.

“Padfoot, drop it,” he said, low and calm.

“Stay out of it, Pete,” Sirius replied, stepping back and out of his friend’s grasp.

“No. Get a grip, Sirius. Just grab the rest of your ingredients and go back to your seat. Provoking Snape is the last thing you should be doing right now.”

After Peter had shouldered his way into their dispute Snape had turned on his heel and exited the cupboard, leaving the two Marauders alone in the stockroom.

“He’s gone, and not worth your time, Pads,” Peter reiterated when Sirius’s eyes danced wildly over his shoulder, frantic and unfocused. After a moment Sirius resumed eye contact before nodding and shoving past Peter to return to the classroom. James was slouched in his seat, legs crossed at the ankles and propped against his cauldron when Sirius finally made his way back to their table. Sirius dropped the ingredients between the two cauldrons and sat down heavily, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

“Took you long enough,” James quipped, flicking the flame under his cauldron on and standing to begin preparing the ingredients.

“Stuff it, Prongs,” Sirius growled, glaring up at his friend.

James rolled his eyes and turned back to crumbling the lavender into his cauldron. Usually during potions Sirius had the double duty of both attending to his own brew, and frantically trying to fix whatever ridiculous and often unbelievable errors Remus made to his. Without the distraction of Remus’s dreadful potioneering, or any conversation whatsoever, Sirius efficiently crumbled, chopped and stirred his way to an impeccable Calming Draught. Sitting back in his chair he glanced to his left and noticed that James had neglected to reduce the heat on his flame for the last step. While the resulting potion wouldn’t be disastrous by any means, it would still function just fine, too much heat in the final minutes of brewing would alter the color and singe the lavender, creating a rather soapy taste. Out of instinct Sirius flicked a wordless charm at the flame, lowering it to the proper temperature.

James startled a bit when he noticed and turned to face him.“What was that for?” he asked, skepticism coloring his tone.

“The color would’ve been off,” Sirius offered in response, absently twirling his wand between his fingers. When it became clear that Sirius was going to offer nothing more on the subject James nodded, and raked a hand through his hair, tugging at the unruly curls at the nape of his neck.

“Thanks, mate,” he said, eyes fixed on Sirius’s face.

Sirius flicked his own eyes up to hold the gaze before looking away and raising one shoulder slightly in response. Slughorn wandered by shortly after, commenting on the proper color of both boys’ potions before moving on to tut lightly at Peter and Remus’s attempts.

At the end of class, after placing a sealed and labeled vial of the draught onto Slughorn’s desk, Sirius pulled two metal flasks out of his bag. He shot them both with a quick scourgify, before swishing around some non-reactive potion base in them. After he dried the vessels sufficiently he siphoned out two rather large portions of the draught into the flasks and carefully deposited them back into his bag. Sirius then went about draining and cleaning his cauldron as normal, scrubbing it with a little extra sand to combat the pervasive flobberworm mucus residue. As soon as Slughorn dismissed the class Sirius shouldered his bag and exited the room before the rest of the class had even begun to move from their seats.

Usually in the ten minutes between Potions and Transfiguration, Remus and Sirius would huddle together behind a column in the courtyard and share a cigarette. Today, however, Sirius sped walked upstairs, bypassing the courtyard and the Great Hall, to push open the main doors and descend the steps. A row of bushes lined the walls of the castle, and Sirius pushed his way through the foliage until he was swallowed and out of sight, leaning up against the cold stone wall of the castle. He conjured a cigarette into his fingers, summoning it from his pocket, and inhaled deeply as he lit it with a snap of his fingers. As he exhaled the smoke out his nostrils, the promise of nicotine already beginning to swirl through his brain, he let his head fall back with a soft clunk to hit the wall behind him.

Sirius made it halfway through the cigarette before grunting in dissatisfaction, staring down at the slightly bent, smoking stick between his fingers. He stubbed it out against the wall next to him before vanishing it entirely, and then fought his way out from behind the bushes. A stray branch caught the collar of his robes for a moment, rendering him stuck until he snapped it and pushed forward, cursing at the inconvenience. He made his way back to the Transfiguration classroom just as McGonagall was about to close the door. She pursed her lips at his near tardiness but said nothing as he quickly stepped around her and made his way to his seat.

James and Sirius always sat next to each other in Transfiguration, so Sirius was unsurprised to see his normal spot empty. McGonagall had started them on the theory behind banishing objects last week, which had left the Marauders all intensely bored. After years of random dorm checks they had all become quite proficient with banishing spells of all sorts. Today, after a brief review of Friday’s lessons she set them loose with the task of banishing the various objects of increasing difficulty on their desks, to reappear on her own. Sirius considered the peacock plume sitting before him for a moment, running his fingers over the colorful feathers, teasing out some of the tightly connected vanes.

“Why’d you nick two flasks of the calming draught?” James asked, breaking the silence between them. Without looking over, Sirius placed his feather back onto the desk, quickly banished it up to McGonagall, and then turned to look at his friend.

“Have the antlers that erupt on a semi-regular basis from your head somehow impacted your brain functioning?” he sneered, “In case you haven’t noticed, mate, I’ve been a bit _on edge_ for the past few days.”

James said nothing in reply, but tilted his head, granting Sirius permission to continue.

“Anyway, now that Moony is back and I have to sleep in my own bed, I figured I’d try out the draught, see if it helps at all.”

“I figured you’d just turn into an extra sooty chimney to calm your nerves, if I’m being honest,” James replied, continuing to ignore the stag-based insult.

“I still might, who’s to say,” said Sirius, smirking slightly. “But to be honest, half of the appeal was watching Moony smoke. He’s really hot with a fag between his lips.”

The appearance of Sirius’s trademark smirk was fleeting, especially after his accidental mention of Remus. His face shuttered as soon as he realized what had escaped his lips, the casual reference to Remus so natural, yet suddenly so painful.

James also appeared a little startled by the admission and turned to quickly vanish is own feather before saying anything further.

The two worked in silence for a few minutes, working on various other objects of greater complexity, successfully vanishing each one. From her seat at the front of the classroom McGonagall peered over her glasses towards the Marauders, pursing her lips at their suspiciously natural aptitude for the difficult concept. Even Peter was managing the spell with relative ease, which Lily had noticed with an eye roll. Eventually James turned back towards Sirius, letting out an extended breath, and raking his hand through his already messy hair.

“Don’t.” Sirius muttered, without glancing towards his friend. James continued to look at him silently.

“I can’t talk about…I mean I don’t…Fuck. I fucked up so bad, Prongs.”

“Fucking understatement of the century there, mate,” James said in reply. “But why, though? Why’d you tell Snivellus where to go?”

Sirius flinched at the question, his wand hand trembling slightly with the intensity of his grip. He jerked his head roughly, lips pressed into a tight grimace.

“Just leave it, Prongs,” Sirius whispered, without making eye contact. After a long moment James nodded, and turned back to his desk.

Following Transfiguration, the fifth  year Gryffindors all headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Remus, however, hung back in the classroom, waiting for the rest of his cohort to file out before turning to exit himself. Just as he reached the door, he heard McGonagall’s voice behind him calling him back.

“Remus, I am glad to see you in class this morning. Poppy said that you were rather worse for wear this weekend.” Remus ducked his head, fixing his eyes on the scuffed toes of his brown leather boots.

“Thank you, Professor,” he mumbled. She huffed a noise of concern and opened a drawer in her desk.

“Have a biscuit, Lupin,” she said, and he looked up to see her offering him a chocolate dipped digestive—his favorite. He walked back to her desk to accept the biscuit, and as he took it from her she sighed.

“I’m so terribly sorry, Remus,” she said, pain and sincerity clear in her voice. At her words, his eyes snapped down once more.

“I realize how awful this must be for you,” she continued, her voice tight with emotion.“I’m sure that these next few days will be especially difficult, and I just wanted to remind you that I am here if you ever need to speak to me.”

Remus glanced up at her, and caught the restrained, yet fierce emotional force of her gaze. He nodded briefly and mumbled a strained thanks before rushing out the door. Turning the corner, he nearly bowled over Lily, who was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, looking quite concerned.

“Lily, sorry, so sorry,” Remus stuttered coming to a halt.

“That’s alright Remus. I was just waiting for you to come out of class.”

“Why?” Remus asked, eyeing his fellow prefect warily as the two of them began the walk back to the Great Hall.

“You’ve seemed off today, why else? You didn’t sit with Black during Potions and all four of your little gang have looked like someone has died all morning. Is something wrong, Remus?”

Remus’s stomach dropped at Lily’s question and he looked around wildly, trying to figure out what to say or do. He looked down and realized that he was still clutching the biscuit in his hand, the chocolate was starting to melt onto his thumb, and after his collision with Lily it was crumbling a little. Glancing over out of the corner of his eyes he saw her openly staring at him with worry. As an attempt to stall giving her an answer of any sort, he brusquely stuffed the entire biscuit into his mouth, chewing slowly and mumbling noncommittal noises around his full mouth.

Lily merely cocked an eyebrow and strode in silence next to him, waiting for him to swallow and give her a reasonable answer. Realizing that no amount of stalling would dissuade his stubborn friend, Remus sighed, completely unsure of what to say.

“It was a bad weekend,” he intoned, knowing the simple statement wouldn’t be nearly enough of an explanation.

“Clearly,” she replied, voice tinged with a sarcastic lilt. The pair reached the Great Hall and strode in together. Marlene and Alice waved at the two of them from their seats at the middle of the table, but Lily steered Remus to the far end of the table, closest to the Professors. The seats there tended to be the last ones open, as Gryffindors didn’t usually want their instructors within earshot of the mealtime conversations. Remus fixed himself a plate of food, smiling when a bloody steak appeared on a platter next to his elbow, and Lily made herself a sandwich and poured pumpkin juice for the two of them.

The redhead waited for Remus to get a few bites into his meat before following up on her earlier probing.

“Alright Lupin, spill,” she hissed, glowering when he washed down his steak with several long gulps from his pumpkin juice.

“Fine,” Remus said as he put his mug down forcefully, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Sirius decided it would be jolly good fun to tell Snape how to get through the Whomping Willow on Friday night.”

Lily sucked in a breath at this statement, and then reached down to pry the now bent fork out of Remus’s grasp. He seemed surprised at the gesture, and then grimaced when he realized he had lost control of his strength while admitting to Lily what Sirius had done.

“What the hell would compel him to do that?” she asked, eyes brimming with concern and fury while she waved her wand to straighten the utensil. Lily had known about Remus’s problem for several years now. She’d figured it out during second year, when she and Remus had been study partners for astronomy together. Remus often wondered whether Professor Sinistra’s choice at pairing them together had been intentional for that very reason. Now that they were paired together again as the two fifth  year Gryffindor prefects, it was only more convenient that she knew. James had drunkenly bragged to her about their animagus project at the beginning of the year, much to the other Marauders’ chagrin, but Remus had convinced her not to tell McGonagall for his sake. She had seen firsthand how much easier the moons were for him since the other three boys had started joining him on his monthly transformations.

Remus shrugged and returned to his steak.

“Things had been fine between us, we hadn’t had a fight or anything. He’s been really antsy lately, you know how he gets, but I thought that he was just gearing up for the moon.”

“How could he betray you like that?” she asked, looking down the table towards the other three Marauders. Remus hunched his shoulders further and shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he replied, voice shaky. “James found him, apparently off his rocker by the staircase to the dungeons. He was going off about how he was gonna teach Snape a lesson…Severus hasn’t told you any of this?”

Lily shook her head before responding.

“No, I’ve barely seen him at all lately.” She paused before adding, “He’s always suspected, you know.”

Remus nodded, “Well now he knows for sure. James managed to get there just in time. But he saw me, Lily, right as I was…” Remus cut off, unable to say out loud how terrifyingly close last Friday had been to every single one of his worst nightmares.

Lily reached across the table and pulled Remus’s hand into hers, ignoring his flinch at the contact. She had long gotten used to how Remus reacted when in crisis, and knew that regardless of his initial hesitation, he needed to be touched and grounded. Despite the seething anger she was feeling towards Sirius at the moment, she did spare a second to worry about some of the smaller ramifications of his recklessness. Remus was clearly in no place to deal with Sirius, and she doubted that Sirius would be quickly forgiven—either by Remus or himself. How would Remus cope with the sudden lack of constant, comforting touch that was such a crucial aspect of his relationship with Sirius?

Shaking her head, she banished those thoughts, and refocused on the present, Remus’s hand trembling in hers.

“Hey. Remus. Let’s just handle this one step at a time, ok? I know you’re still in shock, but the most important thing right now is that you didn’t hurt anyone.” Remus sucked in a sharp, quaking breath at her reference to how narrowly he had avoided making all of his fears come true, and she continued speaking.

“We just need to get through class this afternoon, and then we both have some free periods. Do you want to spend those in bed, since you’ve been in the hospital wing for the past few days? Or we could get a head start on our Arithmancy project in the library? Maybe that could help take your mind off things.”

Remus shook his head again, and she waited patiently for him to speak.

“Thanks, Lily. I really appreciate it,” he paused and squeezed her fingers lightly before continuing. “I have a meeting with Dumbledore after we finish in Arithmancy, and I’m not sure how long that will be. Maybe if I’m up for it I can come and find you afterwards, but I don’t know how I’ll be feeling.”  

Lily nodded, her eyes intent as she searched his face before she gently released his hand from hers.

“Ok then. Let’s finish eating and head to class. You look like you haven’t had a good meal in ages, and that steak is going cold.”

Remus managed to make it through his two afternoon classes without incident, although he was in a haze the entire way. Suddenly the school day was over, and he found himself standing outside Dumbledore’s office. He eyed the gargoyle for a moment and then uttered the password—sherbet pips—and began the ascent up to the office. Remus’s stomach fluttered with every step, he really had no idea what to expect from this meeting.

He reached the landing and paused on the threshold of the door, taking in the room cluttered with curious objects and ancient, dusty tomes. Stacks of paper teetered on chairs, and piles of books lay strewn on every available surface. Sensing his presence, Dumbledore looked up from his desk and met Remus’s eye. He beckoned to Remus, who stepped in and made his way to the stately leather chair opposite Dumbledore’s desk. Remus glanced over at Dumbledore as he settled himself in the seat. The older man was watching him with a concerned, pensive look. Once Remus was seated Dumbledore sighed and clasped his hands together, wrinkled, bony fingers twisting around each other.

“How are you, Remus?” Dumbledore asked, blue eyes piercing behind his spectacles.

“Fine, sir.” Remus replied. At this, the headmaster’s brow furrowed, wrinkles digging even deeper into his forehead.

“There is no shame in being less than fine, Mr. Lupin. You have had a very difficult past few days.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I have called you here to discuss what is to be done in the aftermath of these unfortunate events. And to reassure you that you will not be experiencing any negative consequences. Professor McGonagall, Professor Slughorn, and I have decided that the Board of Trustees need not be informed about any of the actions that transpired this weekend.” Remus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in, and Dumbledore continued.

“Mr. Snape has assured me that he will not speak to anyone, student or otherwise, about what he saw on Friday night. He will cause you no further harm or distress with his knowledge of your situation.”

“Snape hates me.” Remus interjected. “How can I believe he won’t use this against me?”

“I assure you that the consequences of any retaliation will be dire, and Mr. Snape is fully aware of the severity of the situation.” Remus nodded, but did not speak further. The headmaster’s tone left no room for disagreement.

“Mr. Snape will also be serving out detention for the rest of term. Which leads me to my next question. Minerva and I have not yet settled on an appropriate punishment for Mr. Black. We thought perhaps that you could advise us in the matter.”

“Are you going to expel him?” Remus asked, shaken by the turn in conversation.

“No. Mr. Black will be allowed to remain at Hogwarts. However, Sirius is no stranger to detention, and I fear its intended effects no longer hold much weight for him. Do you have any suggestions, Remus? For how best to handle his behavior?”

Remus thought for a moment, drowning in the pain of choosing a punishment, some sort of twisted retribution, to enact upon Sirius. He thought back to how deranged and panicked Sirius had been this morning, pleading for forgiveness. Sirius was well aware of what he had done, now, and was wallowing in it; his temper and misjudgment shackled with deep self-loathing and remorse.

“Perhaps an academic project, sir?” Remus offered finally, pulling himself from the spiral of his thoughts. Dumbledore looked intrigued, so Remus continued.

“Sirius has trouble focusing and expending energy on schoolwork, as most things come so easily to him. Perhaps you could convert his free periods into an interdisciplinary independent study, like what Lily is doing with Professor Flitwick and Professor Slughorn?”

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully and picked up an elegant phoenix feather quill to jot something down, before looking up at Remus again.

“That is a very good suggestion, thank you Remus. Minerva and I will discuss it and decide what we think is best. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

“No, sir. Thank you.” Remus replied, rising up slightly from his seat.

“In that case, you are free to go. Thank you for your help.” With that Remus stepped away from the chair and turned to exit the office.

When Remus stepped out of the staircase, and back into the corridor, he turned to watch the wall slide seamlessly back into the doorway. Once closed, the gargoyle spun around into its original position, its base grinding slightly against the smooth floor. Remus’s eyes followed the line of where the door was hidden, finding no physical traces of it in the stones. The path of the statue was marked by grooves on the floor, however, noticeable only if you looked closely. Running his hands over the statue, he exhaled—using the trick that Sirius had taught him—and focused his magical energy on feeling the presence and sensation of any enchantments on the gargoyle. It seemed to have a great deal of layered charms, but Remus’s attention zoned in on a quirk for the type of stimulus needed to prompt movement. It matched with four other statues the Marauders knew of, that each had some funky incantations layered on them, but lacked the well-worn grooves left by Dumbledore’s office guardian—clearly those statues did not move as often as this one. They had provisionally mapped one of them just recently, and Remus was pleased to see that Dumbledore’s gargoyle had the same type of spell work, because now he had a better idea for how to trigger the other gargoyles and explore whatever was hidden behind them.

Stepping back Remus smiled, contemplating this new knowledge before a swooping sensation welled up in his ears and overtook his entire body. He was catapulted through a shift in atmosphere as his senses launched outside of his body and past his immediate surroundings. Remus was suddenly aware of soft breathing and a deeply familiar scent slightly altered by something— _his own body wash—_ lurking around the corner. He inhaled deeply and then huffed an exhale, allowing himself to adjust to the teetering unbalance before his rational, human brain caught up with his lupine instincts.

As he turned he parsed the information filling his mind: _person, nearby, friend, pack, Padfoot._ Slowly more articulate, human thoughts, like rage and sorrow, appeared and the wolf receded from the forefront of his consciousness. He was unsurprised that Sirius had followed him here and waited for him. But the quickly conjured images of Sirius using his muggle shower products and the ramifications of that, on top of everything else, flooded through Remus again. The emotions crashed over him like waves, pinning him down in their tumultuous frenzy. He stood frozen as Sirius stepped out from around the corner and regarded Remus with the full intensity of his gaze.

“Remus,” he said, stare unwavering. “Remus will you please talk to me?” His voice was not hysterical, as it had been this morning, but earnest and raw with the request. Although his entire body was reeling with the impact, Remus knew that Sirius would not give up, or give him space, until they both said and heard what they had to say to each other. He nodded slowly, before breaking the loaded eye contact between them.

“Fine. But not here, I don’t want to do this in a hallway.”

Sirius nodded and turned as he started to walk away. They walked in silence, Remus two steps behind. Eventually, as Remus came back to himself, he began to wonder where Sirius would choose to have the conversation. One of their favorite closets was nearby, and his stomach dropped at thought of talking to Sirius there, how either of them would be able to proceed through the anger and despair while pushed up against each other. He didn’t think Sirius would choose the closet but let out a relieved sigh when Sirius passed it without a second glance.

Hearing this, Sirius growled with displeasure and spun around to face Remus, who barely stopped before he accidentally crashed up against him.

“Really?” Sirius demanded. “I can’t believe you thought I might take you there.”

Dumbfounded, Remus said, “Wh-What??” voice tinged with incredulity and confusion.

“You were worried that I was headed for that closet,” Sirius replied, spinning on his heel and setting off walking again.“I would never have tried to talk in the closet. This conversation is way too important to have shoved up against each other and dealing with all the fucking memories in there. I would never do that to you, Moony.”

Remus was shocked for a second at how accurate Sirius’s interpretation of his thoughts was, but then a hot flame of anger flared up in him at Sirius’s outburst of wounded pride, overtaking his wonder at how well Sirius knew him.

“Forgive me for being wary, then. But you betrayed me in the worst imaginable way this weekend, and it’s not like you’ve ever been a paragon of sensitivity. Why start now?”

Sirius didn’t turn around at Remus’s words. Instead he just tilted his head slightly, accepting the sting of criticism silently as he continued on his path.

“The seventh year Muggle Studies class is on a fieldtrip this afternoon,” he said after a moment.“So their classroom should be free. I thought that would be an ok place to talk, undisturbed.”

“Fine,” Remus replied, and the two of them spent the rest of the walk in silence.

When they reached the classroom Sirius went in first, and moved to stand by the window, leaving Remus space to stand wherever he wanted, closer to the door. Before he turned around Sirius pulled his shoulder-length hair back into a messy bun. At this Remus winced, but was also grateful. Sirius had been much more attuned to how the wolf interpreted different gestures and tones since accomplishing his animagus transformation. Remus wasn’t sure whether these choices were conscious ones, or the result of canine sensibilities, but whenever they had serious discussions, Sirius made sure that his neck was bare in a subtle act of submission. He’d also try and contain his gestures, and wouldn’t move to quickly, because those things tended to aggravate the wolf as well.

Sirius sighed and turned around, levering himself up onto a desk and letting his battered Doc Martins clunk against the sturdy legs. Remus just waited. He may have agreed to have this conversation, but he certainly wasn’t going to initiate it. After a long moment of staring out the window, Sirius turned to look at Remus.

“Thank you.” He said, and Remus startled.

“What?”

“Thank you for letting me talk to you. I know you don’t want to be here.”

Remus stared at him, motionless, and waited for Sirius to continue.

“Remus,” Sirius began, his voice cracking almost immediately, “I just want you to know that I am so, SO sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and I’m never going to forgive myself for what I did.”

“Ok.” Remus’s face twitched slightly as he worked to maintain his cool mask.

“Ok? That’s all you have to say?”

Remus felt the same flame of anger leap up again, nearly clouding his vision with red.

“You wanted this Sirius, this audience with me to confess your guilt. Well guess what, I’m not a fucking priest here to give you some menial task that will absolve you of your sins. What the fuck do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know! Yell at me, tell me you hate me! Something, Moony, please.”

At the use of his nickname Remus began to growl, low and deep.“So you want the big bad wolf to come out and scare you? Is that it?”

“Remus, I-”

“No, Sirius. You made the decision to tell Snape. You made the decision that petty disagreements were more important than _my life._ You don’t get to decide how I should react now.”

Sirius shook his head, eyes bright with tears, but Remus continued before he could respond.

“I am furious with you, Sirius. But you want me to be. You want me to rage and throw things so that when you walk out of this room, you’ll feel like you’ve somehow atoned, paid the price for your actions. That’s not how this works.”

“No. Remus. That’s not what I want. I _know_ that it’s impossible to fix this or make it up to you-"

At that Remus scoffed and crossed his arms, his raised eyebrows daring Sirius to continue.

“You’re right. I needed to tell you that I was sorry, properly. But I don’t feel better now that I have. I’m never going to feel better. I will never forgive myself for what I did, I need you to know that. I know I can never make it up to you. But I can try, please let me try.”

“And what exactly did you do, Sirius?”

“I…I told him.”

“Who?” Remus asked, eyes blazing.

“…Snape. I told him about the willow. Remus you know this, why-”

“I want to hear you say it out loud.”

Sirius whimpered, but continued.

“I found him, skulking by the entrance. Spouting off all sorts of nonsense about how he was going to discover whatever nasty thing you were hiding. And Regulus was there too, just standing there and sneering—he looked exactly like Walburga. It was disgusting. So I told him—Snape—that if he really wanted to know your secret that he should go to the Whomping Willow. I told him how to get in, I told him everything.” Sirius trailed away at that, the last few words barely a whisper.

“And what exactly did you think this would accomplish?” Remus ground out, voice trembling with emotion.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I…it was all a blur. And I was so _angry_ , Remus. It was like I couldn’t think or see or hear, everything was just rage. Then it just came out and then he was gone. And I thought I’d somehow found a way to defeat him, to get rid of him finally.”

“And me? Did you think about me at all? Because you almost got rid of me, too. So that’s it? Getting rid of Snape is worth just as much as sentencing me to death?”

Sirius jumped to his feet, face alight.

“Remus, NO! You’re everything. I never could have lived with myself if that had happened.”

“Well it almost did. You almost killed me, Sirius. And on top of that, you almost forced me to do, to _be_ the thing I hate most.”

“You’re not a monster, Remus.”

“Really? Because it seems like you just used your convenient, caged werewolf as a weapon to get revenge on your childhood nemesis. The only reason I am here, and Snape is alive, is because James caught him before I ripped him apart with my teeth, limb from limb. I almost did that, because YOU told him where to find me.”

Sirius stood where he was, stock still, unable to move a single muscle, the effects of Remus’s words thundering through him.  

“I’m done, Sirius. You say you want to try and make it up to me? To somehow appease me?”

Sirius jerked his head in a nod.

“Then leave me the fuck alone. Seriously. I don’t want to talk to you.”

At that Remus turned, without waiting for a response, and flung the door open. He strode out and around the corner without looking back, and Sirius watched him leave, sinking to the floor and pulling his knees up to his chest.

  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~     

   

The next morning Sirius delayed getting out of bed and making it down to the Great Hall for as long as possible. He arrived as most of the students were filing out to make their way to the first block of classes. Sirius wove through the crowds and circled around to the far end of the table, by the teachers’ podium.  Straddling the bench, he grabbed a few slices of toast and began assembling sausage sandwiches, eating one while wrapping the others in napkins and stowing them in his satchel. Just as he was about to lever himself up and off the bench Professor McGonagall appeared behind him.

“Mr. Black, may I have a word?” She asked, face stern as she peered down at him. Sirius sank back onto to the bench and twisted himself awkwardly around to face her, the edge of the table digging into his side.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied. Her eyes swept around the hall and took in the few groups of students milling toward the door, before returning to him.

“In light of your reckless behavior this past weekend, Professor Dumbledore and I have decided on the appropriate punishment for you.” Here she paused, as if inviting Sirius to talk, but when he said nothing she continued.

“To begin with, you will be removed from the Quidditch team for the remainder of term. In the fall we will discuss whether or not you will be permitted to rejoin. And secondly, your free periods will now be occupied with an independent study of your own design.”

“What?” Sirius asked, startled.

“Manners, Mr. Black,” Professor McGonagall replied, voice curt.

“Your punishment is additional coursework?”

“Yes. You will design a research project that combines theory and applications from two of the classes you are taking. Professor Slughorn and I, as well as Professors Flitwick and Laveau have all agreed to supervise you, if needed. So, any combination of our subjects is available for you to choose. Your advisors will then provide you with further details about your requirements.”

“May I consider potential ideas before choosing, ma’am?”

“You may. I would like you to have a decision before the end of the day, however.”

“Understood, Professor. Thank you?”

Professor McGonagall cracked a wry smile at his hesitant question.

“I’m not certain you should be thanking me yet, Mr. Black. I anticipate this being more challenging for you than any of the detentions you’ve been assigned thus far, in your illustrious career as a troublemaker.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Sirius replied, waiting to see if she had anything further to say.

“That’s all for now. Do be on your way to class now, if you’re tardy let Professor Flitwick know you’ve been talking to me.”

Sirius nodded and rose from his seat, swinging his bag over one shoulder and grabbing his forgotten sandwich with his free hand. As he hurried out of the Great Hall, Dumbledore came to stand beside Professor McGonagall.

“Remorse suits him,” she said, watching him leave. “I’ve never seen him so polite and subdued.”

Dumbledore sighed at her observation.

“Let us hope, Minerva, that he truly makes an effort to contend with his actions. Otherwise I fear the pain he has caused Mr. Lupin, and himself, will have been for naught.”

“What a terrible thing, to use as a teaching moment.”

“I anticipate that young Mr. Black will be in good spirits and back to referring to you with irreverent nicknames before you know it, Minerva.” The witch scoffed at this, but the corners of her mouth quirked slightly, betraying her amusement.

“I should certainly hope so,” she replied, before exiting the hall herself.

Herbology let out a couple of minutes early before lunch and Sirius took the opportunity to slip out of the greenhouses unnoticed and head towards the Forbidden Forest. There were a few trees that had recently fallen just inside the edge of the forest, casualties of the bitter winter. Sirius sat with his back against one of the broad trunks, feet propped up on another, and pulled the leftover sandwiches out of his bag. Though April, and the promise of spring, had arrived in Scotland, it was still quite cold. He cast a slight warming spell around himself and relaxed a bit, taking in the calm of the forest.

As he ate, Sirius thought about what sort of idea he could use for his punishment project. His first thought was a way to keep track of Remus on the map. That way he’d still be able to feel close to Remus, and know where he was, even if he wasn’t allowed to be near him anymore. Frustrated, Sirius shook his head. There was no way he could do that for the project. For starters, he would never reveal the map to professors. Plus, he couldn’t think of any way to frame his idea to make it less obviously about keeping track of Remus. The last thing he wanted was for the professors to know how pathetic and heartsick he really was.

Sirius sank down further, arse dragging through the damp fallen leaves on the forest floor. He tilted his head back and rested it against the trunk, gazing up at the trees above him. Only a few birds were active, the chill still too much for most animals. He watched a few flit about, landing upon branches before taking off again. As he gazed up at the activity his eye followed a ray of light that had somehow worked its way through the dense foliage. It pierced through the gloom, and landed upon a massive, gnarled ancient tree. The light illuminated a gaping hollow in the trunk, and Sirius startled when he realized what was inside. Bats! Asleep of course, it was the middle of the day, so they were all tucked in and hanging upside down together.

Suddenly an idea was forming in his mind, remembering what Remus had told him about sonar when he had visited him in Wales last summer during break. They had seen an exhibit on Muggle World War II submarines, and Remus had tried to explain how they worked by using bats as an example. Perhaps he could figure out a way to track Remus from afar, without revealing to anyone what he was actually doing.

The end of the school day found Sirius loitering outside of the Charms classroom. A few of the NEWT students were hovering in the mostly-empty room, waiting to ask questions about the homework. Once the last ones trickled out, hardly sparing him a glance, Sirius ducked through the doorway and hesitated before making his way toward Professor Flitwick’s desk. The small wizard looked up from the scattered rolls of parchment on his desk as Sirius approached him.

“Mr. Black! How can I help you?”

“Hello Professor Flitwick. I wanted to ask you a question about my independent study. I think I’ve come up with a potential project, but I wanted to ask your opinion before I commit to anything.”

“Ah, yes of course. I was just about to take these essays back to my office. Would you mind walking with me? We can discuss your ideas there, if you like.”

“Yes sir, that sounds fine.”

“Splendid.”

Sirius moved to the side to let Professor Flitwick pass, and fell in step behind him.

“What two subjects are you considering combining, then?” Flitwick asked, before he chuckled and said, “Well, I suppose I should ask what other subject you’re considering—I presume Charms is one of them?”

Sirius quirked a smile and said, “Yes sir. I was thinking about doing something with Charms and Arithmancy.”

“Very intriguing. That combination can provide quite the opportunity for innovation.”

“That’s good to hear,” Sirius replied, as the pair drew up in front of Professor Flitwick’s office.

Sirius waited for Flitwick to shuffle his armful of essays around and unlock the door, and then followed him in. The office was bright and airy, with a wall full of massive windows looking out over the grounds. Vibrantly colored curiosities filled the space between books on shelves, and Flitwick’s desk was piled up with stacks of parchment; student work and various scribblings all mixed in together. Sirius pulled out a wooden chair positioned opposite the desk and waited as Professor Flitwick deposited the essays on a chair and sat down himself.

“So,” Flitwick huffed, settling down in his chair and giving Sirius his full attention. “Let’s hear it. What’s your idea?”

“Well, sir. I thought I might try play with the concept of muggle sonar, but with some magical twists.” Professor Flitwick’s eyebrows rose in interest, and he gestured for Sirius to continue.

“I was thinking, of course I don’t know how exactly it will work or turn out right now, that I could identify two objects—or individuals, if I can get it that far—and come up with a spell that, once placed on them, would replicate their relative position to each other in some sort of visual format?”

“This sounds rather complex, Mr. Black, but it is an extremely fascinating idea to be sure. Could you give me an idea of how you might begin to work this problem out, and how specifically you think both Charms and Arithmancy will play into it?”

“Yes, sir. I think at its heart the problem begins with a location charm. The Arithmancy is necessary for building a framework once I try and calculate or track the location of the objects in relationship to each other. If I started with two inanimate objects, perhaps a desk and a chair, I would like the image on the paper to show their position next to each other. But if I found a way to apply it to humans, I would perhaps aim for some sort of measurement and interpretation of the distance between them, with a parchment charmed to display the objects and setting for each of the subjects?”

“Well, Mr. Black. That sounds like a very interesting project, with good scope for exploration. You’ve quite convinced me. Let’s arrange to meet with Professor Laveau to discuss the project in more detail and get her opinion on the Arithmancy involved.”

Sirius straightened up at this, nodding at Professor Flitwick.

“Now, you must understand, however, that this will not be haphazard experimentation. You will be required to formulate a research design for your project and assemble all of the relevant sources in an annotated bibliography. Each step of the way will be documented meticulously, and you will write up your findings—successful or unsuccessful—in an essay submitted with your other final exams and papers at the end of term. Is that clear?”          

“Crystal clear, sir. Thank you.”

“I look forward to your work, I think what you’ve proposed sounds quite promising.”

“Thank you, Professor. I appreciate it.”

Just as Professor Flitwick was about to dismiss Sirius, a light rap of knuckles sounded out on the doorframe. Both wizards turned toward the noise, to see Lily Evans standing in the threshold of the room.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Professor Flitwick. I’m just dropping by to deliver the test results from my latest version of the flower-fish experiment.” She took one step into the room and held out a stack of papers.

“Miss Evans, perfect timing!” Professor Flitwick exclaimed. “Sirius and I were just finishing a conversation about an independent study he will be conducting with me as well. Would you mind showing Sirius the carrel reserved for him in the Library? His will be located just next to yours.”

Lily looked startled by the request, but she caught herself almost immediately and flashed a quick, polite smile.

“Certainly, Professor Flitwick. I was just heading to the library anyway.”

“Perfect, then! Thank you both.”

With that Sirius rose up out of his chair and nodded goodbye to the Charms professor, before following Lily out the door and into the hallway. As soon as he was out of Flitwick’s sight he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and let his shoulders cave inwards, slouching along beside her.

Lily flicked him an irritated look, her red ponytail swaying jauntily from side to side.

“You’re starting an independent study?” She asked, voice heavy with skepticism.

“Yep.” Sirius replied.

“Why?” She asked, shooting him another glare.

“Because the professors told me to.”

“They told you to? But…oh—it’s your _punishment_??”

Sirius scowled deeply at this comment, and her correct assumption, which she took as further confirmation of her hunch.

“That’s it?!” Lily exclaimed. “They’re not going to expel, or even suspend you?? That’s ridiculous.”

“Apparently not, Evans.”

“You’re unbelievable, Black. I can’t believe you are getting off so easy for this, given all the pain you’ve caused Remus.”

“Don’t.” Sirius growled at her, eyes flashing.

“Don’t what?” Lily shot back, pulling short and turning to face him fully.

“You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” At this Lily laughed, loud and harsh, the peals echoing off the stone walls and floor.

“Remus told me _everything,_ ” she hissed, stepping closer towards Sirius. “I know exactly what I’m talking about, and I can’t believe that they’re having you do an independent study. I had to apply for _permission_ to do one. And it’s your punishment?”

Rankled, Sirius drew himself up to his full height and exhaled, letting a veneer of haughtiness wash over his features; nostrils flaring, and lip curled in displeasure.

“Perhaps for students of questionable caliber they need to take more precautions,” he sneered, gray eyes full of piercing disdain.

“Please,” Lily huffed, her hair crackling with emotion. “I am even, if not above you in nearly every class. Don’t you try and pretend otherwise. How the hell is independent research supposed to teach you anything?”

“If you’re so concerned, I suggest you take it up with McGonagall and Dumbledore, then, as they’re the ones who made the decision, not me.”

“That’s an excellent idea. Perhaps I’ll do just that.”

“In that case, why don’t you bugger off and leave me alone, Evans?”

“Fine,” she retorted, before spinning on her heel and storming away. Sirius rolled his eyes, but continued towards the library, a deep scowl settling onto his face.

The next few weeks passed slowly, grudgingly, but without incident. Sirius respected Remus's request and left him alone entirely. Remus split his time between Lily, where they were occasionally joined by the other fifth year girls, and the remaining two Marauders. When Remus, Peter, and James sat together at meals Sirius would typically grab food to go from the dining table, before loping off to spend time alone. Meals that Sirius shared with James and Peter, while Remus was with Lily, were difficult. James and Sirius were in a careful, subdued truce, and Peter tried his best to smooth along conversations when words and feelings became tense.

Everyone fell into a routine, but it felt forced and temporary, never quite settling in comfortably. Remus worried privately about how secluded Sirius had become. Leaving him alone and without meaningful human interaction never boded well; it typically exacerbated his temper and insecurities in dangerous ways. Remus didn't know when Sirius's next manic episode would erupt, and how much damage he'd cause this time, to himself or others. But Remus knew it was inevitable, given the course of solitude Sirius was taking. Whenever he caught himself worrying about Sirius for too long Remus would mentally scold himself. How dare his mind betray him like that? It killed him, to still care so deeply about Sirius after what he had done. But nothing he tried could remove Sirius's indelible marks on his mind, and heart.

Remus dreamt of waking up next to Sirius, in the big, sunny bed he had at the Potters’ house. Sirius's eyes luminous in the warm early morning sunshine, sheets rumpled around his narrow hips. He remembered long moments at school spent behind tapestries, or under staircases, kissing, biting, and sucking at each other's lips. They'd traipse away together with fingers tightly entwined, lips red and roughened, but sharing secret smiles. Remus tried to shove those memories aside, to call upon his shame and disgust and distress at being betrayed. But angry as he was, his feelings for Sirius refused to falter. He was lonely and sad, and the only person he wanted to run to was the very one he was running from. It was miserable.

Remus had woken up from another dream about Sirius, this one from Sirius’s visit to Wales last summer. Padfoot had wanted to play at the beach, so Remus packed them on a bus to Aberystwyth. He had bought a flimsy but colorful Frisbee from a vendor on the pier, and then spent ages flinging it for Padfoot to catch. The dog had run and jumped through the waves, always sprinting back with the disc clutched between his teeth, tail beating wildly with excitement. Eventually Sirius found a secluded spot to change back, and begged Remus to buy him some ice cream. After Remus relented, and got them both a cone, Sirius had dragged him into an alley, tangled his sticky fingers through Remus's hair, and pressed his chilly, chocolatey tongue into Remus's mouth.

Remus was still fixated on the memory when he sat down for breakfast, going through the motions of assembling his plate. It was only when James and Peter fell silent, abandoning their light chatter about Hagrid's latest pet project—a cockatrice with a torn wing—that Remus looked up. No other student had dared to sit in Sirius's empty space, perpetually open across from Remus. But now someone stood in it, waiting.

Sirius tried to remain visibly unaffected when Remus looked up at him. In truth, he was shaking with anticipation. Remus had not so much as looked at him in the past month. The full force of his calm, green gaze was electric, and blazed through him with intense familiarity and longing. Sirius blinked and tried to regain control of himself. He had come here for a reason, with a purpose. He glanced around and noted with relief that the Gryffindor table was still nearly empty. James was up early for Quidditch practice, which Peter typically watched in the stands, while Remus preferred the library in the early mornings. Sirius had hoped to catch them before the morning rush for breakfast.

"May I sit?"

"Uhhhhh…Sirius?" Peter stammered, taken aback by Sirius's presence and polite question.

"Sirius, what are you-" James began, before Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down, cutting him off.

"I have a question I need to ask you." He didn't specify who exactly, but his eyes had yet to leave Remus's face.

"Sirius, you know Remus doesn't want to talk to you." James tried again, turning to face Sirius.

"Are you going running tomorrow night, or are you going to stay in the shack?" Sirius asked, ignoring James completely. Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, not expecting Sirius to ask about the moon.

"Pads, I really don't think this is a good idea, whatever this is," James said, tone a bit sharper this time, as he reached out to grab Sirius's shoulder. Hissing at the contact Sirius swiveled to come face to face with James.

"Prongs. I am here to ask if I am allowed to join you tomorrow night."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Padfoot," Peter said softly, looking at Sirius from across the table. James nodded at Peter, and shook Sirius's shoulder a little, trying to jerk some sense in him.

"No way, Sirius. You aren't coming."

"I'm not asking you, though. I'm asking Remus."

"Why are you pushing this, Sirius? Remus doesn't want to talk to you. And he certainly doesn't want you coming tomorrow night. Right, Remus?" The werewolf blinked at this, and dropped his eyes down to his plate, furrowing his brow. Taking advantage of the silence, Sirius continued.

"I just want to know what Remus wants, and what he thinks is best. You know it's easier when Padfoot greets Moony and gets him acclimated before Prongs and Wormtail join in. I'm just asking if you think it would be better for Padfoot to be there. I don't have to play…or do anything at all, really. But I can come if you think I should. For the whole pack."

"Are you saying you don't trust Moony to not hurt me and Prongs?" Peter asked, eyes sharp.

"No!" Sirius said, scrubbing his hand through his hair in frustration. "Moony is always well behaved once he's out, even if I've run off somewhere else. But Remus used to feel more comfortable when Padfoot was the first thing he saw after he transformed. So I'm just asking. If he wants Padfoot. Not me, Padfoot."

"You are Padfoot." Remus said, speaking for the first time since Sirius had arrived.

"Yes, but-"

"No, Sirius. You _are_ Padfoot. Moony will still know who you are. I don't trust him, myself, not be very angry with you. I don't want to think about that happening, or needing Prongs to keep me from hurting you, if Moony is really angry."

"How do you know that Moony will want to attack me, though?" Sirius asked. "What if he's relieved to see me and just wants to play?"

"I don't know how he will react, so you can't be there."

"Remus, please. I just want to try and make the moon as easy as possible for you."

"And I'm telling you that it will be easiest, and best, if you aren't there at all." Remus's tone was final, and he looked Sirius straight in the eye as he spoke. Sirius recognized the glint in his eye; stubborn and utterly unmovable. Remus had made up his mind and could not be persuaded otherwise.

"Understood. I promise I'll stay away tomorrow night." Sirius conceded his defeat but maintained even eye contact with Remus.

"Thank you," Remus replied, and then looked away. Conversation over. Sirius deflated a little and got up from the table.

"Sorry to interrupt breakfast." He allowed his eyes to pass over Remus one more time, lingering on the planes of his face, the lines of his shoulders. After a long moment he turned away finally and left the hall.

As soon as he was out of sight, Remus sagged, passive exterior dropped. His fork slipped out of his grasp, clattering onto the plate, and he covered his face with both hands, exhaling deeply. Peter reached out tentatively and placed his hand on Remus's shoulder, rubbing with soothing circles once Remus accepted the touch.

"I can't believe that he asked you that, Moony!" James began, working up to a tirade of righteous indignation. "He has no business talking to you at all, let alone the right to ask you about the moon!"

"It's fine, James." Remus mumbled into his palms.

"No, Remus. It is not 'fine'. It is the opposite of 'fine'."

"James, really." Remus lifted his face out of his hands and looked over at his friend. "At least he asked, instead of just showing up."

Peter snorted at this and rolled his eyes. “You mean, at least he exercised some basic human decency?”

"Exactly!" James cried, pointing his finger at Peter.

"No." Remus said. "I appreciate that he asked. It was considerate of him. Just tough. For both of us, clearly."

"You can't let him get off so easy, Moony," James countered, still upset on his friend's behalf.

"I haven't. I still haven't forgiven him for what he did. But I think I probably will, at some point. It's kind of inevitable. I've always been too far gone for him, no matter how terrible of an idea it's been."

James gave him a sympathetic look and reached across the table to pat his shoulder.

"I think the two of you should really make your peace with him." Remus said, gesturing between Peter and James. "I'm not ready yet, but I think he's suffered enough. He needs friends, or else he's really going to go off the deep end. I don't trust this new, subdued Sirius to stay, or be any good in the long run."

James and Peter both looked skeptical but nodded at Remus's assessment of Sirius's behavior.

"It's true. He's going to lose it again at some point. He hasn't done anything to work off steam in a month." Peter said.

"You're right." James agreed.

"Maybe do something when I'm recovering on Sunday? Go down to Honeydukes to take his mind off things? I think the three of you should try and get back to normal."

"Alright Moony. We’ll try. But don't feel like you need to rush to forgive him. You should take all the time you need. And then some."

"I know," Remus replied, smiling at James.

"I kind of feel like I need to punch him again." James said, smile shifting into a faux-pensive expression. “You know, to just close the chapter and move on.”

"Maybe the two of you should wrestle in animagus form," Peter added, smirking.

"That's actually a brilliant idea, Wormy!" James said, face lighting up. "I should totally throw him with my antlers."

"Prongs, I don't know if-" Remus began, as James stood up to head out to the pitch.

"No, no, Moony.” James tutted. “Don't take this from me. I'm gonna toss him with my antlers. I wonder how far he'll go."

Remus rolled his eyes, and bit down on a smile as James swaggered out of the hall, hands tucked into his pockets. It was as if giving him the go ahead to forgive Sirius had unlocked something that had been dormant for the past month. Remus knew how much James had missed his best friend, but he had stayed staunchly loyal in support of Remus the whole time. Peter had also been extra considerate. They had played more chess in the past month than they had in ages, Peter delighted to have Remus back as a regular, challenging opponent. Remus couldn’t help but smile at that, at how the two boys had demonstrated their concern for him.  Peter got up to follow James, calling goodbye to Remus over his shoulder as he walked away. Remus waved, and fell back to his thoughts, wondering how he would navigate a freshly re-united group of Marauders.

 

When he left the Great Hall, pulse hammering after speaking to Remus for the first time in a month, Sirius made his way up to the library. Lily rarely worked at her carrel in the mornings, so he knew that the coast would be clear to drop off a few books, and maybe get some work done in peace. Sirius never avoided the library in fear of seeing her, but it was always better when he knew she’d not be there. The two of them had spent several afternoons together over the past month, and they were both dedicated to utterly ignoring the other. Yet they simultaneously conducted a covert war of passive aggression. Lily would noisily sharpen her quills if Sirius was leafing too loudly through books. When his quill got dull and scratched, she would tap her toes against the desk. Tearing off new pieces of parchment had never been so vindictive. It was maddening, exhausting, and impossible to abandon without acknowledging defeat. However, since he was up this early, an extremely rare occurrence since Quidditch no longer occupied his mornings, he decided to get a little bit of work done without distraction.

Sirius shifted through the pages on the desk, sorting them into piles. He put all his book summaries in one corner, with their coordinated lists of references. His spell sequences and drafts went in another pile, with random scribbles of ideas and test calculations in a fourth pile. He owed Flitwick ten summaries this afternoon, which he had finished last night. But he hadn’t made much progress on the practical side of things. He had been able to apply the concept to inanimate objects rather easily, as expected. But so far any of his attempts to extend the principles to living beings had failed. Sirius was getting frustrated with this block and was hoping that Professor Laveau would have some ideas when he met with her tomorrow.

He spent a few minutes sketching out a diagram for how he would like the spell to project visually, growling as he labeled a dot that represented himself, and one for Remus. The sound of fast approaching steps distracted him, and he looked up just in time to see Evans round the corner of the nearest stack, storming down towards him between the bookshelves. When she drew even with the edge of the carrel she stopped, glowering down at him.

“I hear you spoke to Remus at breakfast this morning,” she said, green eyes flashing.

“Merlin, how the hell did you even know I was here?” Sirius breathed, annoyed that her fuming presence had interrupted his brainstorming.

“You’re not allowed to talk to him, Black.”

“Evans, I just needed to ask him a question.”

“Last I checked, questions require talking. Which you’re not allowed to do with him.”

“I’m not trying to have this conversation with you right now, Evans.” Sirius replied, voice quiet but firm. “I needed to ask him a question, and as soon as he answered I let him be.”

“You may not be trying to have this conversation, but I don’t give a rat’s ass. Leave. Remus. Alone.”

“I haven’t spoken to Remus for a month, Evans. Not because you glared at me any time I so much as looked his way. Not because Peter and James followed him around like bloody body guards the entire time. I haven’t spoken to him because _he_ asked me not to. Your opinion about what I do, or who I talk to, is meaningless to me.”

“What did you even have to ask him anyways?”

“None of your fucking business, Evans.”

“Well it doesn’t matter. What could you possibly have to say to him anyways? The moon is tomorrow. He was probably already feeling poorly, and you just went and made it worse..”

Sirius flinched at that and rose from his chair to look down at her.

“Evans, I understand you’re upset. But don’t you dare suggest that you have a better idea of what it’s like for Remus before a transformation. I’ve been there with him for every single moon of the school year since we were twelve. Because it’s me he’s wanted, not you, not anyone else. Me.”

“But not this one,” Lily bit back, eyes flashing.

“No. But I needed confirmation of that.”

“Well congratulations, then. You have the night off, and tomorrow too! Take a fucking holiday weekend.” Sirius growled and stepped back from her, knocking into the chair behind him.

“Don’t be such a bitch, Evans,” he sneered, barely flinching when she slapped him across the face. “I would do anything to be there for him,” he hissed.

“Don’t fucking call me a bitch for trying to protect Remus,” Lily spat, drawing herself up to her full height and tapping her wand against her palm, flurries of little red sparks erupting at the impact. Sirius pressed his fingers to his jaw, grimacing a bit, and looked down at her. Just when she thought he was going to say something else, do something else, he looked away and moved again, knocking against her shoulder as he brushed past. Lily’s eyes widened in surprise, expecting more confrontation from him. By the time she looked over her shoulder he was gone, and she was left alone in a remote corner of the library. Glancing down at his carrel, she noticed it was cluttered with stacks of papers and not nearly as tidy as hers. Her eyes stopped when they fell upon one of the sheets closest to her. She picked it up gingerly between two fingers and then lightly grasped the edges of the curling parchment. Lily immediately recognized what it depicted: it was a poor sketch of a dorm room in Gryffindor tower. Five beds were scrawled along the curve of the wall, each equipped with a rectangular pillow and nightstand, and a messily drawn trunk. The two beds on the far right each had a black dot in their center: one labeled Sirius and one labeled Remus. A dotted line with arrows on each end ran between the beds, and below the line, Sirius had written “ **97 centimeters”**

Lily stared at Sirius’s sketch for a long moment before placing it back on the desk. Even after she had set it down she continued to look at it, a light furrow appearing between her eyebrows. Deep in thought, she turned around and exited the library, walking much slower than when she had marched in, enraged, just minutes earlier.

Sirius waited for ten minutes after he saw James and Peter leave the table at dinner before he got up himself and made his way back to Gryffindor tower. When he got up to the dorm he rummaged around in his trunk before finding a pair of jeans that he had purchased last summer from a thrift store in Muggle London. They already had holes in the knees, but had Sirius added a few of his own, hacking away with his wand until they were just as beat up as ones worn by the punks in Remus’s muggle magazines. He shucked his boots and wriggled into the jeans, relishing in the tight, heavy fabric. He also pulled out a band t-shirt that he’d picked up at a show in exchange for a pack of cigarettes and two puffs off his joint. It was a bit small for him, but stretched nicely across his shoulders, the thin white fabric practically translucent. Once the shirt was on he shrugged into his leather jacket, the pride and joy of his wardrobe. It clanked and sparkled with rows of safety pins that he had painstakingly fastened, and a few chains that Remus had carefully stitched on for him, tongue peeking out of his mouth in concentration while he punched the needle through the thick leather.

Shaking his head to banish thoughts of Remus swearing and sucking on his thumb after accidentally pricking himself a few times, Sirius snatched up his rucksack from the trunk as well. He shoved a set of robes in it, as well as a fresh t-shirt, and clean pair of briefs. Patting his pockets to make sure he had his wallet and wand, Sirius turned to leave the room, descending the stairs and exiting the Common Room. Evans was standing in the corridor as he exited the portrait hole, in the middle of a conversation with Frank and Alice. She raised an eyebrow when Sirius stepped out, taking in his muggle attire.

“Going somewhere, Black?” she inquired, voice challenging.

“Oh, just out for a pre-curfew stroll. Ta, Evans.” Sirius barely spared her a glance as he turned the other direction and made his way down the corridor. He slipped through the tunnel to Hogsmeade with ease, and soon made his way into The Three Broomsticks. The tables and bar were full of people having a couple of pints and enjoying the weekend. Even without the cloak Sirius was able to slip unnoticed through the shadows to the door that led to the back of house. Rosmerta was on the other side, taking a break from the bar to grab some fresh glasses. Looking up when he came in she chuckled when she realized who it was.

“Fancy yourself a pub night, love?”  She asked, bright red lips curling into a wide smile.

“If only,” Sirius replied, smiling back at the bartender. “I’ve actually got to go see Andy, do you mind if I use your floo? I’ll probably be back in the morning, to sneak back up before breakfast.”

“Family time, is it?” Rosmerta said. “Send Andy my best and tell her I hope that she and Ted stop by sometime soon. I owe them a few drinks from the last time we were out together.”

“Will do,” Sirius replied, and he stepped towards the fireplace, taking a pinch of floo powder and calling out his cousin’s address.  

Sirius stuck his head through to see Andromeda waiting for him on the sofa, dark eyeliner rimming her gray eyes. “Come on through,” she said, and waited as he dusted himself off on the grate before stepping into her small living room.

“Rosie sends kisses and hugs,” he said, leaning down to kiss her cheeks, before plopping down next to her on the sofa.

“Where’s Ted?” Sirius asked, looking around the apartment and seeing no signs of his cousin’s husband.

“He has to work late tonight, actually,” Andromeda replied. “Which is honestly probably for the best. Ted doesn’t really love the tattoo parlor.”

“Really?” Sirius asked, surprised by this.

“Well obviously he doesn’t mind the final products.” She said, gesturing to her arms, which were covered in intricate, shifting patterns. “He says he really doesn’t like the smell of the spells, I dunno why. I think they smell nice.”

Sirius hummed in understanding and wondered what he would think about them. He was pretty sensitive to the byproducts of casting, but they didn’t usually smell bad to him, and he couldn’t remember anything particular about the scent of Andy’s tattooing from the times he’d sat in and watched before. Sometimes spell residue sent weird shivers jangling through him at the wrong frequency, but that was about it. He shifted his shoulders, thinking about the feeling of unfamiliar magic zipping up his spine, and realized that he had zoned out a bit. Andy was just staring at him expectantly, eyebrow quirked in classic Black fashion.  

“Soz, I think I’m a little more nervous than expected,” he said, shrugging and digging his knuckles into the side of his neck to ground himself.

“No worries,” she said. “But it’s probably best to just head over and get started. I don’t think you’ll be anxious once we begin.” Sirius nodded and slapped his hands lightly against his thighs as he stood up.

“Right. Let’s go,” he agreed.

“Grab my arm, then?” she asked, and he looped his arm through hers and drew closer to her side. In a breath they were spinning and then popped back into being in a brick alley, next to a massive steel door. Andromeda disentangled her arm and turned towards the door, unlocking it with a discreet spell. She hefted it open and stepped inside, throwing flames up into the lights with a flick of her wrist.

Sirius blinked at the sudden adjustment in light, taking in the converted warehouse space. In the far corner, sequestered behind a few Japanese folding screens, all littered with sheets of paper full of different designs, was a black leather chair. Sirius had sat on stools and watched people get tattoos there, splayed out against the broad surface and squirming slightly with the sensation.

Sirius had been waiting for this moment for years, and on his 16th birthday Andy had finally repealed her long-standing tattoo ban. Even though he’d immediately known what he wanted, Sirius had been waiting for a special occasion. Tonight was special in a way, he thought grimly, making his way across the room towards the chair. It was his first moon away from the pack since they had achieved their full transformations, and his first morning-after-the-moon away from Remus in even longer.

Andy ushered him to the chair and directed him to take his jacket off, hanging it over the folding screens once he handed it to her. She turned around the small space, scanning the screens until she found the sketch she was looking for. She unpinned it from its place, tacking the pin into the wooden frame on the side, and turned back to face Sirius.

“Are you still happy with this?” she asked, waving the drawing at her cousin. He reached out and caught the scrap of paper between his fingers, pulling it closer to him. After eyeing it for a long moment, and tracing the curved outline lightly with a fingertip, he handed the drawing back to Andy, nodding his affirmative. She took it from him and tossed it onto the table next to her, pulling up a stool and situating herself next to Sirius on the chair.

“And you still want it on your left forearm?” she asked, waving her wand over her hands and casting sanitary and protective spells.

“Yes please,” with that Sirius lay back and extended his arm towards her. The chair anticipated his movements and cushioned his descent while adjusting its arm to comfortably hold his forearm.

“Can I have a smoke?” Sirius asked, a smirk on his face as he stared up at his cousin.

“Absolutely not. Do that on your own time, and not while I’m focused on an artistic process.”

“Fine, fine,” he chuckled, shoulders shaking slightly with the laughter. She swatted at him, whacking her hand against his chest.

“Stay still, fucker. You can’t get the wiggles while I’m tattooing you.” Sirius inhaled deeply, with effort, and exhaled loudly, stilling his body’s movements.

“Thank you,” Andromeda said, with a smile, reaching over to tap her wand against the drawing. A series of shapes floated up into the air, hovering a couple of centimeters off the page. She selected the first and guided it down onto Sirius’s forearm, shifting it a couple of times until he was happy with the placement. Then she lightly touched her wand to his skin, tendrils of dark ink shooting out from where the tip touched his arm. She dragged the wand up and around slowly, letting the crackle of magic flow until the image appeared fully. Sirius stiffened, feeling the impact of the magic fill his body. The skin of his forearm prickled at the direct contact, but the magic buzzed through his body, lodging itself at the back of his jaw with a vibrating intensity.

Satisfied, Andy cast a light cooling spell on the skin, and tapped the tattoo once, so that it disappeared. A shimmering grid remained, to guide the position of the next layers, and underneath it Sirius’s skin was slightly reddened, but blank once more. Then she repeated the process, floating templates over from the drawing and onto his skin, building layers of images, and immediately banishing each one. As she continued Sirius was lulled into a trance by the sensation. The feeling was overwhelming, and he liked how it spread across his body in tendrils of pain that faded into an aching ghost of pleasure.

Finally, she coaxed the last shape onto his skin. At this point his dark hair glistened slightly by his temples, and his shirt clung to his chest, dampened by sweat. The effects of magic focused on a single spot on one’s body always had a profound physiological impact on a person. Sirius could feel his magical core struggle to adjust itself to the intake of Andromeda’s prolonged casting.

“Last one, Sirius,” she said, speaking softly and with a soothing voice. He looked up at her, eyes heavily lidded with sensation.

“I don’t think they smell bad,” he said, voice a little slow and rough. “I think they smell really good.”

“You can take it up with Ted when we get back to the flat,” Andy replied, a small smile on her face. She wiggled her wand slightly in his sightline and then touched it to his skin, waiting a moment before beginning the spell. She held this one for the longest time yet, and when she finally lifted her wand Sirius let out a strained hiss of relief.

“Ready to see it?” she asked, and he sat up eagerly at the proposition.  

“Ok I’ll flip through for you, and then set the spells for the timer.”  Andromeda tapped her wand lightly against his reddened skin, and one by one the phases of the moon began to flash by, before she stopped on the full moon. Craning his neck, Sirius caught a glimpse of it through the window, peeking out from behind some clouds. He swallowed the urge to howl up at it and looked back down at the likeness on his skin. It was gorgeous, the details and shading rendered in delicate black swirls.

“Look good?” Andromeda asked, rubbing her thumb lightly across Sirius’s wrist.

“Looks incredible, Andy!” Sirius said, looking over at her with wonder. “You’re a bloody genius.”

Andromeda smirked a bit at that and pulled her wand out again. “This is really the impressive part,” she said.

Andy cast a quick _tempus_ and noted the time while she also cast a spell to register one’s approximate longitude and latitude. Then, combining those two spells she hovered a disc of light over his skin, the phases of the moon swirling through their cycle on his arm until they suddenly slowed down and stopped on the full moon again. Casting one final cleaning spell on both of them, she shoved her wand back into her bun and stood up, clapping her hands.

“That’s the tricky part done. Now the cycle is attuned to rotate naturally, but it will shift according to your location on the globe. In case you actually do ever get out and travel, like you keep talking about.”

Sirius sprang up off the chair and folded her into a hug, crushing her face into his chest.

“Blech, get off, you sweaty oaf,” she protested, shoving him away from her.

“Really, thanks Andy. It looks bloody brill.”

“Good. Well grab your jacket and let’s get out of here. Wanna split a bottle of wine back at mine while we wait for Ted to get off?”

“Sounds perfect,” Sirius replied.

“Oh wait, one sec,” Andy said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back toward her. Waving her wand, she slapped him with a numbing charm, and a mild protective spell as well, to keep fabric from irritating the skin. “Ok now you’re good. Remember, no magic tonight. You’ve got to sleep off the excess energy, and I’d really rather not have to clean up the mess if you accidentally blow up my flat.”

Sirius nodded his head again in thanks, running his fingertips lightly across the skin before he pulled his jacket back on. They locked everything up together and apparated back to the flat, lounging on the sofa for a couple of hours and passing a bottle of wine back and forth to refill their glasses.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~     

 

When Sirius arrived back in Gryffindor Tower the next morning all of the beds, except for Frank’s, were empty. He sighed in relief and dropped his rucksack next to his trunk. Sirius then wrestled out of the robes that he had pulled over his muggle clothes after climbing out of the passageway on the fourth floor. He didn’t expect to see anyone on his way back to the tower, as it was still rather early on Sunday morning, but hadn’t wanted to chance being caught in muggle clothes. That would likely elicit suspicion in any of the Professors. Peter and James walked in right as he was dropping the leather jacket into the trunk, fingers hovering over the zip of his jeans.

“Just getting in yourself, Sirius?” James asked wandering over towards Sirius’s bed.

“Holy Shit!” Peter exclaimed, startling the other two, and causing Frank to groan in annoyance. He pulled the hangings more tightly closed around his bed and the tingle of a silencing charm followed, floating through the air towards the three Marauders.

“Whoops,” Peter whispered, grimacing slightly. “But still. Holy Shit.”

“What??” James hissed, eyes flicking between Peter and Sirius.

“Sirius got the tattoo.” He said, pointing at the moon emblazoned on Sirius’s bare arm. Sirius’s eyes grew wide with shock, and he slapped his right hand over the tattoo on instinct, as if to hide it.

“Nice try, Padfoot,” James said, darting around to grab Sirius’s elbows from behind. He braced Sirius’s back against his chest and jutted a knee into the other boy’s thigh right as he wrenched his arms apart. Sirius couldn’t maintain his balance, so he flailed, lilting to the side before he caught himself between James and one of the bedposts, arms open and exposed. Peter and James moved closer peering down at the ink etched into their friend’s skin. The skin was still red and raw, and Andromeda had given him another soothing combination of a cooling and numbing spell when he got ready to leave this morning. She’d told him the irritation would go down in a day or two, and after that it would be perfectly fine.

“Bloody hell,” James breathed, twisting Sirius’s arm even further to get a better look at it. “It’s wicked, mate. And it changes like you wanted it to?”

Sirius finally wrenched himself away, regaining his balance and stepping back from the two other boys. He cradled his arm to his chest protectively and shot them a wary glance.

“Merlin’s balls, James. Lay off me.” Coming back to themselves, the three boys immediately tensed. The distance that had gaped between them over the past month was welling back up.

“So, you saw Andy last night?” Peter finally asked, inquiring after Sirius’s favorite family member. Sirius acknowledged the olive branch with a nod and turned to face Peter and James more directly.

“Yeah, and Ted.”

“And she finally inked you up, then?” James asked.

“I rather think you know the answer to that question already,” Sirius replied, deliberately coloring his posh accent with disdain, but the slight quirk in his smile betrayed him entirely.

“Well let’s see it then,” James pleaded, and Sirius relented. He extended his arm, wrist flexed, so they could get a good look at the tattoo. Peter whistled in appreciation and James looked up at Sirius, brimming with excitement.

“Did it hurt?”

“No, not really. I kind of liked it actually, it was a super intense sensation.”

“Typical,” James scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Did she ask you where Moony was?” He asked, eyes suddenly worried.

“Yeah. I told her that he was feeling poorly, and she sent me back with some chocolate biscuits for him.”

“What about Ted?” Peter asked. “Did he...?”

“You know Ted never lets us down,” Sirius replied, fishing out a plastic bag filled with dope from the pocket of his jacket and waving it in front of Pete’s face.

“I love that man,” James said, snatching the bag from Sirius’s hand and sticking his nose in it to deeply inhale. “Andromeda better watch out.” Sirius chuckled at that and slapped his hand on James’s shoulder.

“Mate, you’d never stand a chance against Andy, trust me.” James clutched his chest with one arm, and staggered back, faking injury while Peter openly snickered.

“True love can never be defeated,” James gasped, as he sank to his knees with a flourish. The smile disappeared from Sirius’s face and he turned back to his trunk, shimmying out of his jeans and stepping into a looser pair of trousers, before pulling a jumper over his head. A hand settled on his shoulder and he turned around to face James, on his feet again and standing mere inches away.

“Do you know how hard it’s been to stay mad at you for the past month, with all this morose bullshit you’ve been pulling.”

“Fuck off,” Sirius said, but the expletive had no bite.

“You can’t keep living like this, Pads,” Peter interjected, and James nodded in agreement.

“It’s miserable. And unsustainable. And you know it.” Sirius just shrugged at that, and James nodded again, more deliberately this time. “Right then. Let’s get breakfast. Then would you fancy a jaunt down to Hogsmeade, see if Rosmerta can set us up with a few pints?”

“Sure, I guess I can clear my schedule.”

“What, postpone moodily staring at Moony from across the common room till tomorrow afternoon? Have your daily fainting spell on the way down from the castle to conserve time?”

“Shut up. I’ve not been that pathetic.”

“I dunno, Sirius. It’s been pretty bad.” Peter countered, siding with James. “Apparently some girls in Ravenclaw started a rumor that you’re preparing for a role in a Shakespeare festival this summer.”

“What??” Sirius asked, incensed.

“Yep. Sirius Black, the method actor. You broke up with Remus and have been wallowing in an ocean of self-loathing, all in pursuit of artistic success.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“That’s how you’ve been acting, mate.”

“I can’t help it, I am miserable.”

“I know, Pads. But you’ve got to get it together. Remus is never going to forgive you if you keep wandering around like a puppy with your tail between your legs.”

“Remus is never going to forgive me, period.” Sirius replied dejectedly, dropping his head so that his long hair obscured his face.

“Nope. None of that. We’re off to brekkie and the pub, and you’re going to buck the fuck up.” James said, and dragged Sirius towards the stairs.

A few hours later the three boys stepped out onto the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade, their bellies warm and full, heads buzzing pleasantly with the pints of cider that Rosmerta had discreetly slipped them. James stumbled over his feet, and caught himself on Sirius, wrapping his arm tightly around his friend’s shoulder.

“Alright there, Prongs?” Sirius asked, looking over and eying his friend.

“Swell, Padfoot. Just swell. Let’s walk up to the castle the long way though, cutting by the lake? I want to walk this off a little bit before getting back.”

“Sure thing,” Sirius veered their course away from Honeydukes and towards the grounds. The three of them made their way steadily, kicking rocks and laughing as they hiked up the hill. When they reached the edge of the lake, on the far side from the castle, James suddenly acquired a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Hey Pads, fancy a round of fetch since you haven’t had a chance to play lately?” He asked, blinking innocently.

Sirius’s face lit up with the suggestion. He barely managed to gasp out a “Fuck yes!” before he was gone, replaced by an enormous black dog. Padfoot panted excitedly at James’s feet, thumping his tail against the ground as he waited for James to grab a stick. James indulged him for a couple of minutes, throwing the stick farther and higher on each go. After one particularly far chase Padfoot turned around, stick clenched between his teeth. Instead of James, a massive stag stood in his place. As Padfoot ran up, questioning the shift, the stag ducked its head and began to run towards him. Suddenly the dog felt himself lifted into the air, caught in Prongs’s massive antlers. The stag ran a few feet further and then bucked its head, flinging the dog off and into the freezing cold lake. Padfoot yelped in surprise, arching through the air and landing with a splash. The dog paddled out of the lake and back onto shore, growling as he walked up to James, who had shifted back and was doubled over with laughter at the sight of the bedraggled animagus. Huffing in displeasure, Padfoot vigorously shook off, his thick black fur spraying freezing cold water and mud all over James.

“Worth it,” James wheezed, continuing to cackle. Sirius transformed back and put his hands on his hips, glaring down at his friend.

“What the hell was that for, jackass?” James straightened up and leveled Sirius with an even gaze, eyes still bright with amusement.

“I told Remus I needed to get you one more time before I finally forgave you. He didn’t want me to, but I couldn’t resist the idea of throwing you like that.”

“Buck the fuck up, indeed.” Sirius grumbled, which set James off all over again.

After the three of them trooped back into the room and took turns showering, Sirius was lounging on his bed looking at his tattoo. James emerged from the bathroom and started putting clothes on again, even reaching for his shoes. Peter took the opportunity to head to the bathroom for his own shower, shutting the door behind him.

“Where are you going, Prongs?” Sirius asked, leaning up on his elbow to get a better look at his friend.

“Remus is probably awake by now, just wanted to stop by to say hello to him before dinner.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, a gloomy look settling over his face.

“Yeah,” James said, tugging the knot of his laces tighter before dropping his hands and looking over at Sirius.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come.”

“No, I know.”

“But-”

“Can you-” the two of them spoke at the same time and immediately broke off, gesturing for the other to continue.

Sirius broke the silence with a sharp inhalation of air. “Could you give him the biscuits Andromeda sent for him?” he asked, face hesitant.

“Do you want me to tell him they’re from Andy?” James asked.

“No, I don’t want him to know they’ve anything to do with me. Could you maybe tell him they’re from your mum?”

“Are you sure, Pads? I don’t think he’d mind if I told him the truth.” But Sirius just shook his head.

James sighed, and bit his lip, seemingly hesitant about saying something. “He’s going to forgive you, you know,” he said at last, waiting for Sirius to look back at him.

“You don’t know that.” Sirius said.

“I do. He told me.” James replied, but still Sirius was unconvinced. “At breakfast on Friday, after you left. He said that it’s only a matter of time before he forgives you. He said it was inevitable.”

“No,” Sirius said weakly, balling up his hands in the duvet.

“The two of you have always been it for each other. Remus will forgive you. You just need to give him time.”

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven.” James just shook his head.

“Moony will forgive you. And then you’ll just have to figure out how to forgive yourself.”

Sirius flopped back onto the mattress and covered his face with his hands.

“I don’t think that will ever happen,” he mumbled, pressing his fingers firmly over his eyelids.

“Cookies from mum, then?” James asked, and Sirius nodded.

“Yes, please. Thanks, James.”

“Cheers,” James grabbed his wand and the bag of cookies and clattered down the stairway, leaving Sirius alone in the dorm.

Remus looked up from reading when James slammed through the doors to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey looked over from the student she was currently tending to, a second year boy who’d eaten a piece of devils snare on a dare and suffered a terrible allergic reaction.

“Mr. Potter, do you mind?” she asked, voice sharp.

“Sorry, Madam Pomfrey,” he winced. Remus snickered at this. James had always been slightly afraid of the school’s nurse, and she was certainly aware of that fact.

Remus was still smirking when James arrived at his bed and pulled up a chair, turning so his back was to the nurse. James noticed and rolled his eyes, plopping a plastic bag full of biscuits on the bed.

“Someone’s feeling cheeky, eh? Brought you some feel-better biscuits.”

“Thanks,” Remus said, pulling the bag towards him and opening it. His eyebrows shot up when he smelled the chocolate morsels.

“Who are these from?” he asked, looking back over at James.

“My mum,” James replied, eyes shifting slightly.

“Bullshit. These are from Andy.”

“Merlin, Moony. Why do I even try?”

“I don’t know. You’re never successful. So, Sirius went to see Andromeda last night?”

“Yeah.”

“That was probably the best thing for him to do, all things considered. At least he didn’t get into trouble in the castle.”

“Agreed. But I guess when Andy asked after you, he said you were feeling poorly, and she sent him back with these biscuits for you.”

“Mmm. It might have worked, except these biscuits have got an extra something that your mother’s never do.”

“What’s that?” James asked, confused by the smile unfurling on Remus’s face.

“These biscuits reek of grass,” Remus replied, offering them over for James to smell.

“Smells just like the shit that Ted gave Sirius,” James said, shaking his head.

“Well they’re for me, apparently,” Remus said and snatched them back from James. “Although I wish I could have one now. But I’m all doped up on potions already, and I don’t think that mixing them would be wise.”

“Sharing is caring, Moony.” James whined, but Remus just shook his head, eyes sparkling. James recounted their shenanigans from the afternoon, relishing in telling Remus about how far Padfoot had flown through the air before landing in the lake. Remus laughed outright at this, wincing slightly at how it strained his ribs, but utterly amused by how bedraggled James made Sirius out to be. He nodded solemnly when James told him about the conversation he’d had with Sirius in the dorm, before coming down to the hospital wing. When James finished talking Remus paused a moment and then asked.

“How was Moony, last night?” James’s lips twitched involuntarily, and Remus leaned a bit closer.

“James, how were things? I wasn’t scraped up too bad. I’ve had better months, but also far worse. And nothing could come close to last month anyhow.”

“You were fine, Remus.”

“And? What else, James?”

“And you very clearly missed Padfoot.” Remus drew back at this, eyes wide.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You weren’t violent or anything,” James prefaced, holding up the palms of his hands in a calming gesture. “But you tried really hard to evade me and run away. We were sprinting around all night.”

“Why?” Remus asked, and James shot him a disappointed look.

“I just told you. Moony missed Padfoot. Before we got out of the shack you found a sock of his that had gotten left behind at some point. From that point on you were constantly looking for him. Once we were outside you couldn’t stop howling or whimpering. You were frantic because the pack was missing a member.”

“Fuck me,” Remus whispered, and James chuckled weakly, running his hands through his hair.

“I know Remus hasn’t forgiven him yet. But I think we both know that you’re relieved to find out that Moony isn’t still furious with him. If you don’t want to have him back next month that’s fine, we handled everything alright. But at least you don’t have to worry about you trying to hurt Padfoot.”

“Yeah,” Remus nodded, his voice suddenly scratchy, throat closing up. James placed a comforting hand on his knee.

“I’m going to head off to dinner now, but I just wanted to come check up on you first.”

“Thanks, Prongs.” Remus said. “I appreciate it. Thanks for the biscuits too. If Sirius asks about the biscuits just tell him that I was pleased with them. You can let him think I didn’t figure out they were from Andy.”

“Sounds good. See you later, Remus,” James said, and strolled out of the hospital wing.

 

The next day Remus walked into the Great Hall for lunch, noting that James, Peter, and Sirius were in their usual spots along the table. Instead of continuing on to sit with Lily and the girls, Remus dropped his bag down beside Peter, stepping over the bench with his long legs to sit down.

“Hi, lads,” he said, pulling a bowl of stew toward himself and spooning some chunks of meat onto his plate. Sirius dropped his eyes to his plate, fork tines swirling patterns through his mashed potatoes. James and Peter both gave Remus warm smiles, and Pete even jostled Remus a bit with his elbow, welcoming him back.

“Remus! How kind of you to join us. We were just discussing whether we should try and convince Hagrid to get rid of the beard and rock a handlebar mustache instead. What do you think?” Remus snorted, and flicked his gaze up to the teachers’ table seeking out Hagrid’s hulky frame. When he found the gamekeeper, he looked at him for a long time before turning back to the other Marauders.

“Definitely. But I bet it would be easier to convince him to get a mullet instead.”

Peter and James burst into laughter and even Sirius smiled, glancing up at Remus briefly before looking away again quickly. That’s how it was all week. Remus would join them for meals and participate in conversations. It was nice to return to light hearted banter after a month of mostly scholarly discussions with Lily. Sirius began to warm up slowly, but he was careful to never speak directly to Remus or reply to his comments. James and Peter heroically championed the conversations though, their talent for ceaseless prattle smoothing over the awkward jags of emotion that both Sirius and Remus would stumble over at times.

On Sunday Remus traipsed up to the dorm in the early afternoon, planning on switching out his books and heading back to the library for some more studying. Sniffing lightly, Remus could tell that Sirius was the only one in the room, asleep in his bed as Padfoot. It seemed like the boy had mainly been spending nights, and apparently naps too, in canine form for the past month, and Remus tried to ignore the twinge that he felt every time he thought about that.  

Whistling softly to himself, he made his way over to his bed and began withdrawing books from his satchel, piling them up on his bed. When he reached over to grab another book, still up by his pillow from earlier, he accidentally knocked the stack off the mattress and onto the stone floor. Grumbling, Remus dropped to his knees and began to gather them up. One had slid under Sirius’s bed, and Remus reached over to drag it back out with his fingertips. Sliding it over, he noticed that a piece of torn parchment had gotten caught between some of the pages.

Remus pulled the sheet out, intending to set it back under Sirius’s bed, before he saw what it was. It was a sketch of the dorm room, drawn in a style similar to how they depicted the castle for the map. All of the beds were present, with nightstands, pillows, and trunks. On Sirius’s bed there was a dot labelled ‘Sirius’ and right next to it, in the space between Remus and Sirius’s beds, was a dot labelled ‘Remus’. Between the two names was a dotted line, and below the line it said “ **_52 centimeters_ ** ”.

Remus dropped the book he had been holding and stood quickly, staring down at the paper he was holding. On instinct he strode away, walking over to the far end of the room by Frank’s trunk. The dot tracked his position, scooting away from Sirius’s, and increasing the measured distance between them. When Remus walked over to the bathroom, it followed him again. Shocked, Remus walked back over to Sirius’s bed and flung the hangings open, exposing the sleeping dog.

Remus hadn’t seen Padfoot in ages, and he looked down at the dog wistfully, before startling and realizing what he had just done. The dog blinked awake slowly, and then jumped up when he realized who was standing above him. The dog dove underneath the covers before transforming into a boy.

“Just a sec, Moony,” Sirius gasped, wriggling beneath the sheets. Remus turned around embarrassed, not wanting to look as Sirius quickly pulled on pajama bottoms and a jumper.

“Um,” Sirius said behind him, and Remus turned back, lip caught between his teeth.

“Sorry to wake you,” he said, gesturing weakly. “I didn’t really intend to.”

“What did you intend to do?” Sirius asked, before he caught sight of the parchment clutched in Remus’s hand. He emitted a soft “Oh!” and reached out to snatch it from him. Remus moved his hand at the last second, Sirius’s fingers falling short.

“What is this?” He asked, and Sirius shrank away from his words.

“Nothing, Remus. Can I have it back?”

“Nothing? Sirius this is a plan of the room that tracks my movements. Have you been spying on me?”

“No!” Sirius exclaimed, a fire returning in his eyes. “I’ve been trying to, but it won’t bloody work!” He lunged forward and flung his upper body across Remus, grabbing the parchment before pulling back and flopping on the bed again, the parchment crumpled in his fist.

“Merlin,” Remus said, regaining his balance after Sirius’s assault. “So you’ve been trying, but failing to spy on me? Why?” Sirius mumbled something, but it was muffled entirely by his pillow.

“What was that?” Remus asked, pulling the pillow out from under Sirius and whacking him with it.

“Augh, stop it. I said it’s for my bloody punishment project.”

“Your independent study?” Remus clarified, voice incredulous.

“Yes. That.”

“You were trying to spy on me for your independent study?”

“Not spy. Just keep track. To know where you were. I thought it would make me feel better or something, I don’t know. But it only works in the dorm, so, it’s a fucking failure anyway.”

Remus was taken aback by this information and stumbled a little, moving to sit on his bed, where he continued to face Sirius.

“How could the Professors possibly approve that project?” he asked, utterly shocked.

“Obviously I didn’t present it as a Remus-tracking device,” Sirius scoffed, finally making eye contact with Remus. “I spouted some bullshit about how I wanted to see if I could magically replicate muggle sonar. By attempting to track the relative positions of two people. But I’ve tried a million things, and it only really works in the dorm, I don’t know why.”

“Oh.” Remus replied, brain spinning to keep up with what Sirius was telling him. He opened his mouth and continued to speak without even realizing it, “Maybe because there’s too much magical interference?”

“What do you mean?” Sirius sat up and pinned Remus with a look, brow furrowed in concentration.

“I mean if your two axes are people, and the spell tries to track their position relative to each other, the magic of everyone else in the school, not to mention centuries of casting residue, and the spellwork infused in the building itself would cause significant interference. Your spell is only powerful enough to work when we’re close to each other, in the same room, like right now, without as much interference.” Remus gestured with his hands while explaining, and Sirius’s eyes followed the expressive motions.

“That makes sense,” Sirius said slowly, taking in what Remus had said.

“It would be cool if we could track people on the map, though.” Remus added, somewhat as an afterthought. Sirius quirked a smile at this.

“That was my first thought, actually. But I wanted to see if I could figure it out first, before adding it on to the actual map.”

Remus nodded, returning the smile. “I wonder if you could use the castle as an anchor somehow, with everyone registering relative to it, instead of each other…”

Sirius smiled turned shy him, “That’s a brilliant idea. You’re always so good at coming up with solutions to these sorts of things.”

“Oh, it was just a guess. I hope it works out though.” Remus moved to get up, and then paused, settling back down again.

“Hey Sirius, may I ask you a question?”

“Sure, Remus,” Sirius replied, eyes concerned, but face open and vulnerable.

“Why have you only been sleeping as Padfoot lately?”

“Oh,” Sirius said, suddenly uncomfortable. “That’s not what I expected you to ask.”

“What did you expect?”

“I dunno. But not that. Um. Dog emotions are less complex than boy emotions. I’ve only really been able to get sleep when I’m Padfoot because all my thoughts keep me up otherwise.”

“Oh,” Remus said back, suddenly just as awkward as Sirius. “Sorry I, don’t know why I asked.”

“It’s ok. I didn’t realize you could tell.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, tapping two finger tips to his nose ruefully. “I can always tell which one you are.”

“Of course, I should have realized.”

“Anyways,” Remus said, standing, “Sorry again. For waking you, and for asking…” he trailed off.

“It’s ok.” Sirius replied, watching him move away. “Thanks for helping. I’ll look into what you were saying about interference. It’s nice to have an idea about why it wasn’t working.”

“Sure thing,” Remus said. “I’m going to head back to the library now, but, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah. Bye, Remus.”

Remus waved over his shoulder as he exited the room and clattered back down the stairs, and Sirius groaned, rolling over on his bed.

The next morning Sirius walked into Potions right as it was about to start. He froze, however, when he saw Peter sitting next to James, in the seat he had occupied since The Fuckup. Looking around in confusion, Sirius was almost afraid to look back at Remus. But then his voice called out softly from the desk behind him.

“Sirius, you’re sitting with me today if that’s alright.” Hearing this from across the room, Evans whipped around to stare at him, eyes blazing with a warning. Sirius didn’t even have the ability to muster a sneer back, he just looked at her with wide eyes before slowly turning to look at Remus. Remus nodded, and gestured to the chair next to him.

“Come on, Sirius. Slughorn is just about to start.” Sirius made his way over slowly and slid into the seat, fingers trembling slightly with anxiety. Remus merely offered him a small smile, and a quirk of an eyebrow, before turning to listen to Slughorn’s lecture. Sirius couldn’t bring himself to focus though. His entire body was buzzing with the proximity to Remus. It was as though someone had lit his skin on fire. He just tried to breathe and blink regularly and stay as still as possible. He didn’t want any sudden movements to startle Remus.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed entirely unaffected. He wrote down detailed notes from Slughorn’s rambling tangents and didn’t look over at him once. When Slughorn finally trailed off, and wandered over to unlock the supply cupboard, Remus slid the list of ingredients over to him. Grateful for this lifeline of routine, Sirius grabbed the slip of parchment and walked over to get in line behind the rest of the class. When Sirius finally made his way into the space, piling up ingredients in his arms, he turned around to find himself backed into a corner, an irate Evans blocking his path.

“You better watch yourself, Black,” she hissed, before spinning to exit the cramped space. Her long red hair stung as it slapped Sirius across the face. Cursing softly, Sirius returned to Remus in the back corner, unloading all of the supplies on the table between them.

“Evans is hacked off,” he said, beginning to arrange the ingredients in the order they would need them.

“I think she’s just worried,” Remus replied.

“You’re the one who asked me to sit here, it’s not like I just barged over uninvited or anything.”

“I know,” Remus said, voice soft. “But she can still be worried about me.”

“Well, I’m not going to do anything.”

“You are too.” Sirius glanced over at Remus, brow furrowed in a question. “You’re going to help me make this potion. It’s supposed to be really difficult and Pete is lousy at helping me.”

Reassured by Remus’s words, Sirius began to smile. “It’s a gift, what can I say. Keeping you from utter disaster while managing a perfect brew myself.”

“It’s unreasonable to expect everyone to be as talented as Sirius Black.”

“Truer words, Moony. Shall we get to work?”

The two fell back into their routine, preparing ingredients and adding them to the cauldrons. Sirius felt more alive than he had in ages, dancing between stirring his own mixture and slapping Remus’s hands away when he went to add ingredients too early or forgot to change direction while stirring.

“Honestly, Remus. I can never understand how abysmal you are that this. It’s like you’re trying to be shite.”

“Maybe it’s all an elaborate ruse to get fit blokes to pay attention to me,” Remus shot back, before freezing. The color drained from Sirius’s face and his eyes lost their sparkle.

“Bugger,” Remus said softly, underneath his breath, and he turned to face Sirius.

“Not now, Remus,” Sirius shook his head, avoiding eye contact. “Let’s just finish up the brew.”

“Ok.” Remus replied, and turned back to his cauldron. They finished the rest of the period in a stilted silence, Sirius occasionally offering suggestions when Remus veered too far off course. After they had turned in their samples, and packed up all of their kit, Remus turned to Sirius.

“Fancy a fag before Transfiguration?”

Sirius looked over at him finally, eyes wary. “If you’re offering, I suppose. Courtyard?”

“Sure.” Remus looked over at James and Peter, and gestured to his lips with his fingers, blowing a puff of air out his lips. They both nodded and continued out of the classroom without waiting. When he looked back at Sirius, the other boy’s gaze was on his lips. The two of them exited the classroom and made their way upstairs in silence. It was raining, so Remus shot an umbrella charm around them as they headed toward an alcove in the courtyard. Once they pulled up in the space, feeling a bit more cramped than either of them remembered, they paused for a moment, holding uncomfortable eye contact.

Sirius broke the awkward moment, fishing in his pockets for a cigarette. He pulled two out and offered one to Remus tentatively. Remus just shook his head.

“We might as well just share,” he said. “We never have enough time to each finish one.” Sirius nodded and slid one back into the pocket of his robe before handing the other to Remus. Remus lit it with a snap of his fingertips and inhaled. He tilted his head back as he exhaled, revealing the long line of his neck, and emitting a soft, content sight.

When he opened his eyes, moving to hand the cigarette to Sirius, he was taken aback by the pained expression in Sirius’s eyes.

“Sirius, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“Nothing, Remus,” Sirius replied, snatching the cigarette and inhaling from it deeply. Remus still looked unconvinced, so Sirius spoke again, smoke spilling out of his mouth and nostrils as he talked.

“It’s just hard. Harder than I expected I guess, talking to you again.”

“For me too.” Remus replied. He took another puff from the fag before passing it back to Sirius. “Would it be easier if I went back to ignoring you?”

“No!” Sirius said, “I don’t want that at all. It was fucking miserable.”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “It was awful.”

“But I need to know where we stand, Moony.” Remus pinned him with a look, but Sirius didn’t glance away this time. He just took a drag from the cigarette and flicked off a bit of ash. “Because I will only do, or be, what you want. So, what are we? Mates? Acquaintances? Lovers?” His voice broke on the last one, and he finally looked away, overcome with emotion.

“Sirius,” Remus replied slowly, gazing out at their gray, rainy surroundings. “This is difficult for me too, I...I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, how we’re supposed to act.”

“I know. But you’re the one who has to make the call, Remus. You have to tell me what you want from me.”

Remus reached out and tugged the cigarette from Sirius’s fingers, inhaled, and blew out a long stream of smoke, chewing his lip slightly.

“I want us to be mates,” he said finally, and Sirius nodded. “I don’t think…I mean, I can’t be your boyfriend right now, Sirius.” Sirius nodded again, and looked down, scuffing the ground slightly with his toe.

“Am I allowed to flirt back?” he asked softly.

Remus swore under his breath again. “Even though we can’t right now, my mind still falls into the same patterns you know. Of banter. Same as yours. I didn’t mean to flirt, it just happened.”

“I get that,” Sirius said. “It just stung, you know?”

“This is going to be hard, Sirius. Because we’ve been something more than friends for so long. The adjustment isn’t going to be smooth.”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied.

“But I want to.” Remus continued. “Be mates, I mean. I can’t be your partner. But I want to be your friend. Again. Still.”

“Not having you in my life is horrendous.” Sirius said, his voice heavy with unshed tears. “Whatever you want me to be, Moony. I’ll do it. I just need to be near you in some way.” Remus smiled.

“Same, Sirius. I need you near me, too. So, friends?”

Sirius’s eyes flicked back to him, full of longing. “Please,” he replied. Remus vanished the cigarette butt with a snap of his fingers and looked down at the watch on his wrist.

“Bugger,” he said. “If we don’t hurry we might be late. McGonagall will be furious.”

Sirius grinned at that, his black hair whipping around his face as they jogged back inside. “It’s been a little while since Minnie’s given me a dressing down,” he said. “I think I might be in the mood.” Remus rolled his eyes, keeping pace as they rushed down the hallway.

“You’re a wretch,” he said.  

           

The crushing weight around his lungs that Sirius felt every time Remus looked at him or talked to him began to lighten up as the week passed. It was so good to laugh with him again, for Remus to chide him slightly, with cutting sarcastic quips that were always accompanied by a soft smile. But as the nerves subsided, and Sirius and Remus warmed back up to each other, different instincts began to creep back in. He caught himself wanting to whisper something softly in Remus’s ear, telling him how good he looked, fingers itching to tangle up with Remus’s underneath the table. And Remus was clearly suffering similar thoughts. Sirius often looked over to find Remus staring at him hungrily while gnawing slightly on his lower lip.

After breakfast on Saturday Sirius escaped from the emotional onslaught of watching Remus do the crossword puzzle and drink tea. James and Peter were off to cheer for Ravenclaw in their match against Slytherin but watching Quidditch just bummed Sirius out. He thought McGonagall’s punishment was fair, but missed the unbridled joy of flying, yelling warnings over to James, and cracking bludgers with pinpoint efficiency towards his opponents. If Gryffindor made it into the finals he’d relent, for James’s sake. But until then, Sirius was off Quidditch for the spring, mourning his absence from her.

He made his way towards the library, ready to get on with some more research for their map idea. Since Remus had mentioned using the castle as an anchor, Sirius had been reading up on the early construction and wards of the castle again. The Marauders had done a basic overview of everything a few years back when they were just beginning work on the map. But since then, most of the research had been about specific features, rather than the early history and planning.

Sirius read for about an hour, making notes on a few sources that he might return to later. Just as he was about to return a stack of books to the re-shelving cart, he heard the pounding of quick footsteps. Remus burst around the corner, exclaiming triumphantly when he caught sight of Sirius.

“Padfoot! There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“What? Why?”

“Come on! I’ve got to show you something.” Remus lunged forward and grabbed the stack of books from Sirius. He shoved them onto the cart as he turned and walked away, beckoning for Sirius to follow him.

“You’ve got to see what I just found!”

The two of them jogged quickly through the empty corridors, everybody else out watching Quidditch in the beautiful, early spring sun. Remus led them down through the castle, arriving in a passage around the corner from the Hufflepuff common room. The passage concluded with a dead end, and a statue of a young girl. Sirius remembered mapping this bit of the basement a year or two ago with Remus and being puzzled by the statue.

“Moony, what’s going on?” he asked, looking over to see Remus vibrating with excitement.

“I’ve identified the Founder’s quarters, Sirius.”

“What??” Sirius asked, astonished.

“You know how in _Hogwarts, A History_ it mentions that they definitely had private rooms?”

“Yes, but after they died the castle sealed them off, and everyone forgot where they were.”

“Right! And for some reason there’s been very little speculation about where they are, or how to potentially access them. Which is honestly quite bizarre. Why wouldn’t people have tried to find them before now?”

“Remus, get to the point!” Sirius said, eager to hear what Remus had discovered.

“Yes. Ok. So, remember how this statue had interesting magic on it?”

Sirius nodded and walked over to it, placing his hands on the girl’s shoulders and inhaling. “Yep. She has an enchantment to move, but I don’t know why, there’s nothing here.”

“Remus came to stand next to him, their shoulders bumping against each other slightly.

“Right. So there are four statues in the castle that we had mapped with this feature. When I went to visit Dumbledore after that moon, I noticed that the statue outside his office has a really similar charm on it.” Sirius’s eyes started to gleam, his mind catching up with Remus’s excitement.

“Four statues.” He murmured. “And you thought the number was significant.”

“I cross referenced their locations, each within 50 meters of a common room, tucked away slightly.”

“Fuck, Moony, you’re a genius!” Sirius exclaimed, turning to look at his friend. Remus beamed.

“This morning was the first chance I’ve had to investigate, since everyone’s out of the castle. I came with a whole list of potential passwords—because that’s how Dumbledore’s statue works. And it was the first fucking one I tried!”

Sirius snatched the list out of his hand and read the first phrase written down.

“ _Meliora Contendo_?!” He said, and the statue slid to the side, a circular door appearing in the wall. “Just her Latin motto?” Sirius looked at Remus incredulously.

“I know, right!” Remus crowed, putting a hand on Sirius’s arm and gesturing with the other toward the door. “Want to check it out?”

“Fuck yes I do,” Sirius said and strode forward, opening the door.  

When the door closed behind them Sirius looked around in awe.

“Holy Shit!” he breathed, taking in their surroundings. The walls of the castle were behind them and they were in a massive room that had been carved into the side of a hill. Somehow, Sirius suspected a particularly impressive one-way transparency spell, one of the curving sod walls was invisible and allowed the boys to look out across a hill of wildflowers, Herbology greenhouses nestled around the corner. Although the room must have been constructed centuries ago, the floors and walls of the excavated hill remained pristine. A desk presided over one side of the room, with rows of bookshelves curving behind it, one of which appeared to be a door that led somewhere else into the burrow. To their right was a circle of cushions and pillows arranged on the floor, with two low wooden tables on either side. Sirius made a beeline for the cushions and flopped own on them, dragging a gorgeous cashmere blanket over his legs.

“Moony this is the most spectacular thing you’ve ever found!” Sirius exclaimed, sinking into the soft pillows. “The preservation charms in here are insane, these cushions have no dust whatsoever.”

“I think the elves must have been taking care of the chambers, actually,” Remus replied, coming to lie down next to him, sprawling his legs out and resting his chin on his forearms. He gazed out at the grounds, basking in the diffuse sunlight, before turning his head to look at Sirius.

“There are fresh flowers on the desk. No stasis charm is that good…”

Sirius craned his neck to catch a glimpse. “That’s incredible. I can’t believe no one’s ever asked them!”

“Mmm,” Remus agreed. “I can’t get over this place, though. It’s so bloody Welsh.” He rolled on his side, propping his head with a bent elbow. “I can understand being nostalgic for your tiny hillside house, off some bog or something.”

“Sheep grazing above you while you sleep.”

“Exactly,” Remus laughed. “But you’re in a castle now, not just in it, but building it yourself. A great magical castle. And out of all the options you have, you just go and build yourself a little hillside knoll off to the side?”

“Very Welsh, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right! I’m Welsh!” Sirius groaned at that and flung a pillow over towards Remus in retaliation.

“You know what,” he said, sitting up, “I bet Slytherin went all out for his. Don’t you think?” Remus nodded, pushing himself up to a seated position as well.

“I can’t wait! Imagine how amazing they’ll all be!”

“Gryffindor’s has got to be wicked!” Sirius said, the excitement building back up again. “Moony, holy shit. Really! James and Pete are going to be SO sore this missed out! Wait…” he said, and then paused. “What are you going to do to celebrate?”

“Who said I’m going to celebrate?” Remus asked, giving Sirius a sly look.

“Moony, we celebrate _every time_ we have a breakthrough on the map. It’s a necessary and sacred ritual.”

“You’re right,” Remus said, and pulled a plastic bag out of his satchel. Two of the chocolate biscuits from Andromeda remained in it, with the light buzz of a stasis charm curling around them.

“Are those?”

“Andy’s biscuits, yes.” Remus replied, and Sirius stiffened.

“You knew?” he asked. Remus opened the bag and ended the stasis charm, pulling a biscuit out and handing it to Sirius, before grabbing the last one for himself. When Sirius bit into it he paused and started laughing with his mouth still full.

“Oh, that devious witch,” he said, spewing crumbs into the air, before shoving the rest in and closing his mouth to chew. Remus chuckled and bit into his own biscuit, rolling onto his back and stretching out.

“She’s my favorite Black, that’s for certain.”

“Oi!” Sirius said, mock offended. “And wait just a minute. There were quite a few of those biscuits. Did you eat all of them?!”

“No,” Remus replied, smirking. “You ate one.”

Sirius swatted at him and grumbled a bit more. “Greedy bastard.”

“Hey, I deserved those biscuits!” Remus retorted, sinking back into the cushions as his body relaxed. “Besides, you shouldn’t be upset, you got one to celebrate. Because we found Helga Hufflepuff’s chambers. Remember?”

“Fine, fine. At least we’re alone! I can play as Padfoot for a bit. You know how much I love being a dog while stoned.” Remus chuckled and waved Sirius off to explore as a dog, staring up at the ceiling and following the intricate patterns carved into the earth above them. After a while Padfoot snuffled back up to the cushions and lay down next to Remus again. Without thinking, Remus reached out and began petting the dog. He ran his fingers through the thick black fur, and teasing his ears softly, before returning to long, slow strokes up and down the dog’s side.  

Padfoot transformed back to a boy when Remus’s hands were back between his ears, fingers suddenly buried in long black hair at the base of Sirius’s neck. Remus didn’t flinch at the transition, but he slipped his fingers out of Sirius’s hair slowly and brought his hands back behind his head. Sirius let out a slight exhale and propped himself up on an elbow, looking down at Remus.

“Remus, I know I’m not allowed to be your boyfriend anymore-” Remus bit his lip and looked up at Sirius, green eyes wide and soft, “-but can I please still be your dog?” Only the frighteningly earnest expression on Sirius’s face kept him from laughing in response, so he nodded instead.

“Yeah, Sirius. You know I love Padfoot.” The other boy whimpered, and transformed back, his cold nose dragging across Remus’s cheek as the dog snuffled into his neck.

“Alright, alright, needy thing. Ok, I will pet you. Yes, I know you haven’t been getting scratched very often lately, you enormous fleabag.”

The next week things seemed almost entirely back to normal for the Marauders. Sirius and Remus still caught each other in moments of yearning, while the other two would roll their eyes and continue the conversation. They hadn’t told James and Peter about the Founders’ chambers yet. According to unspoken Marauder code, big discoveries were always unveiled through a prank. Sirius and Remus wanted to check out the other ones before deciding what to do, but Sirius already had his heart set on booby trapping Slytherin’s chambers.

On Friday afternoon Sirius strolled quickly through library, towards the large table where Evans and Remus were going over Runes translations together. When he drew up to the edge of the table both paused to looked up at him. Remus seemed pleased to see him while Evans shot him her traditional greeting, a glare.

“Hey, Sirius. What’s up?”

“Remember that suggestion you made for my project?” Remus nodded. “I think I found out how to do it! I have the manuscripts over at my carrel if you want to check it out?”

“Definitely!” Remus said, and flipped his book closed. He glanced over at Lily warily, and cleared his throat, “Is it ok if I go see what Sirius found?”

Lily rolled her eyes but waved them off. “Sure, sure. We were just about finished anyway. I’ll see you for rounds tonight?”

“9 o’clock sharp, I’m never late,” Remus assured her. Lily smiled and turned back to her translation as the two boys walked away.

“Ok. So remember what you said about using the castle as an anchor?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I went digging back through the initial construction plans, trying to think about how we could integrate the spell, since the castle is such a mish-mash of styles, and construction periods.”

“Right, hence the need for individually mapping things in the first place.”

“Exactly. But then I remembered. The castle wasn’t the first thing constructed here, or, marked off rather.”

“The Founders set up a temenos first!”

“Yes! They marked off the sacred plot of land that would one day become Hogwarts and dug a trench in a massive circle to serve as a boundary.”

“And then they buried the foundation trench after laying the initial wards?”

“Ugh, let someone else be clever for once, would you? But yes, that’s exactly what they did. So, all we need to do is run my spell through those first wards, and everyone who crosses over the edge of the grounds will be registered.”

“Sirius, you’re brilliant!”

They reached the study carrels and Sirius pulled Remus over to look at the manuscript he had out, with the diagram of the first wards. Remus’s finger followed the Latin scribbles in the margin, lips moving a little as he translated in his head. When he reached the end of the annotations he shook his head slowly before throwing his hands up in the air in excitement.

“Sirius! I can’t believe it. This is incredible!” Remus brought his hands down onto Sirius’s shoulders and gripped him firmly before letting go, looking slightly embarrassed. Sirius tried not to look upset when Remus’s fingers loosened their grasp of him and slipped away.

He plastered a grin back on his face and stuck his hands in his pockets, bouncing back and forth on his feet.

“Well, you’re not the only genius among us, Moony. I can toast you in the research department any day.” Remus laughed at that and stepped back, gesturing back to the diagrams.

“So, when do you want to set this up?” he asked. “I presume you have the schematics for the spell already figured out, since you’re the smartest person in this castle.”

“Well, I did want to ask you about that, actually,” Sirius conceded, with a crooked smile.

“There it is,” Remus joked, but held out his hand expectantly. Sirius passed him a few sheets of parchment which he shifted through, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Looks good to me,” he said, and Sirius pumped his fist in relief.

“Yes! Want to sneak down tonight after curfew, maybe nick the cloak just in case?”

“Sure, sounds good to me. James and Peter?”

“Let’s incorporate this into the Founders Reveal Prank?”

“Thinking big, huh?”

“Moony, when have you known me to do anything but think big?” Sirius asked, sounding scandalized.

“You have me there, Pads. Never.”

James and Peter lay silent, listening to Remus and Sirius slip out of the tower a little after midnight. As soon as they were gone James crept out of his bed and opened the curtains slightly to Peter’s bed.

“Pete? You awake?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” and then James climbed into the bed and shut the curtains behind him. Peter lit his wand with a _lumos_ and shifted to give James a little more space.

“What do you think that they’re up to?” Peter asked.

“I don’t know, but they’re not nearly as subtle as they think.” James replied.

“Do you think they’re sneaking around again, but don’t want to tell us they’re back together? Because I can’t handle a repeat of third year.” James shook his head.

“I don’t think they’re back together yet. Although it’s only a matter of time, honestly. I think they’re planning something and I want to know what.”

“I dunno James, maybe they’re just going on walks like they used to. Before they started shagging on every available surface…”

“Maybe,” James replied, but he didn’t look convinced. “I’m going to keep an eye on them, though.” Peter nodded and yawned.

“Me, too. The two of them together are trouble.”

Meanwhile, Sirius and Remus were skulking behind Hagrid’s shed, waiting for the clouds to pass over the moon before they grabbed a shovel and darted to the edge of the forest. Once concealed by the shadows of the foliage they continued further, making their way to a boundary stone that they often came across during the full moon. It was tucked away by a stream at the edge of a small clearing, moss covering most of its surface. Remus had translated the runes carved onto it at the beginning of the year, and it was one of a series of boundary stones scattered along the edges of the initial temenos drawn out by the Founders.

When arrived at it Remus grabbed the shovel from Sirius and began to dig. Sirius tried to protest, but Remus shrugged him off. Once he had sunk a pretty sizable hole in the ground next to the stone he dropped to his knees and continued to clear out the dirt with his hands. After a little while longer, of clawing and scooping dirt away, Remus revealed a twisting, gleaming stream of magic running through the ground. The particles of dirt skidded off the rope-like surface of the magic, and when Remus brushed his hand across it he felt the jolt of power and age resonating deep in his bones. The light from the wards illuminated Sirius’s pale face, his gray eyes reflecting the dancing gleam of light.

“We got it,” he breathed, totally astonished. “Holy shit, there it is.”

Sirius knelt down beside Remus and dipped the tip of his wand into the ward. He said the initial words of the ritual, a bright purple light bursting out of his wand and traveling into the wards. He waited for what seemed like forever, the magic pulsing through his body and wand, until the purple reappeared, having traveled along the entire circuit uninterrupted. Sirius gasped with relief and pulled his wand out, tapping it against the map, which Remus had laid open next to him.

“ _Homunculi Persecturi.”_ Sirius intoned, finishing the spell. He dropped his wand to the ground and wrung out his wrist, exhaling heavily at the effort it had taken. Remus just stared at him unabashed, mouth slightly open.

“It worked,” he said softly, gesturing down at the parchment. Sirius gasped and grabbed the map, holding it up to his face.

“Everyone’s there. Bloody hell, it worked!” he exclaimed, lowering the map to look at Remus. “This will make pranking SO much easier! Can you even imagine??”

Remus laughed and nodded, “The possibilities are endless. What are you going to do to celebrate?” he asked.

Sirius bit his lip and looked over. “I was wondering whether I could ask you for something, as my celebration?”

Remus pursed his lips, “What?”

“Do you think Padfoot could come next week, for the moon?”

“That’s what you want for your celebration of creating a Hogwarts-wide tracking device?” Remus asked.

Sirius just nodded. “Yes. Please, Remus? Can I come?”

“You can come,” he said, turning back to begin throwing dirt back over the wards. Sirius barked out a joyful noise and fell backwards onto the ground, wriggling his fingers through the loose dirt.

“Thank you,” he replied, looking up at Remus. The other boy smiled and picked up the shovel to pat the earth down.

“I was going to offer, anyways. James mentioned that Moony was a bit frantic about Padfoot missing last month, so I figured it would be alright for you to come anyway.”

Sirius just shrugged. “That’s ok. It’s all I wanted for my celebration anyway, so it still counts.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Remus said, leaning down to offer Sirius a hand up.

“I am.”

The next few days passed smoothly. Remus was crankier because of the waxing moon, and spent more of his meals with Lily, instead of the other Marauders. Sirius tried not to be too bothered by it, but he still ended up moping most evenings at Remus’s lack of attention. James tried to distract him with Quidditch strategy talk at first, but Sirius snapped at him, still mourning his removal from the team, so Peter stepped in with an idea for transfiguring all of the Slytherins’ shoelaces into worms. Peter had befriended one of the house elves who cleaned the dorms and thought he might be able to convince her to help them out.

On Wednesday night Remus left dinner early to head straight to the shack. Even though the days were getting longer, and the moon wasn’t set to rise for several hours, he needed to get out of the castle. Sirius had bought a used record player at a muggle charity shop two summers ago, and they had stashed it in the shack because Remus sometimes liked listening to music in the hours leading up to the moon. He put on the newest Fleetwood Mac record, which James had gotten him for Christmas, and slid down to sit with his back against the wall, fingernails scraping idly across the pitted wood floor. He kicked his shoes and socks off, and set them to the side, ready for when he needed them again in the morning.

Remus tried his best to zone out and match his breathing with the cadence of the music. He could feel the prickling tension begin to gather, behind his eyes and at the base of his spine, the waves of pain grew stronger and more regular, and he lost himself in their ebb and flow. Just when the record was coming to the end of the first side, he sensed James, Peter, and Sirius making their way through the tunnel. When they arrived, he offered them a nod, and tipped his head back against the wall, shutting his eyes. Peter stepped over to the record player and flipped the vinyl, and James crouched down in front of him. Remus felt the tingle of a cooling charm brush over his skin, and he smiled weakly in response. James’s charms always had a slight minty scent to them that he appreciated, although he was more accustomed to the bright, citrusy hint of Sirius’s.  

Sirius lingered in the doorway for a minute, but eventually came into the room and plopped down on one of the rickety wooden chairs pushed against the opposite wall. Remus opened his eyes and noticed that he was wearing a jumper.

“Aren’t you burning up in that, Padfoot?” Remus asked. “You always say that once the temperature reaches 15 degrees, it’s a travesty to wear long sleeves.”

Sirius tugged at the edge of his left sleeve, pulling it further down over his wrist.

“I talk a lot of shit, Moony. You should know that by now.”

Remus shrugged, and closed his eyes again, pulling his knees up and resting his forehead against them. The last half hour leading up to the transformation was always agonizing. All of his nerves felt like they were on fire, and any movement or shift resulted in a harsh, stinging sensation spreading across his skin. Peter and James spoke softly, the low buzz of their voices slipping in and out of Remus’s consciousness. Sirius remained silent, though. Ten minutes before the moonrise Sirius finally spoke.

“James. You should probably get him out of his clothes now. And make sure that he drinks some water too.”

Remus didn’t open his eyes, but he felt James come over to him and pull him up to his feet. James unbuttoned his shirt, and Peter stepped behind him to pull it off. Remus tried to unfasten his trousers, but his fingers were starting to cramp, and he couldn’t get them to bend or move. James gently pushed his hands away and worked the buttons open to slide the trousers down his thighs. Peter steadied him as James knelt to help him step out of them. Once he was undressed, Peter handed him a glass of water, which he drained in an instant. Remus mumbled his thanks and collapsed back onto the bed behind him, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“You guys should probably change in the next couple of minutes. It’s close.”

Time stretched thin for Remus, measured in the shallow drag of breaths in and out, before it snapped, his body arching off the bed in a burst of excruciating pain. He rolled onto the floor, convulsing and cursing. A hand gripped the back of his neck and he suddenly smelled Sirius, all over and around him.

“It’ll be over soon, Moony. I promise. Just breath through it, and let it happen.”

Remus’s body relaxed slightly, and he nodded, rubbing his cheek against the scratchy rug on the floor. Bright red light flared across his eyelids, and he whimpered, feeling the bones in his body fracturing and re-making themselves. His spine stretched and twisted, and he shrieked out in agony. Behind him he could feel James and Peter, waiting in their animal forms, but Sirius hadn’t changed yet.

“Sirius. Please, you need to change.” The words felt strange, as though his tongue and mouth weren’t meant to be forming them. The beginnings of a howl started to bubble up in the back of his throat.

“I will.”

Sirius stood motionless, watching Remus writhe on the floor. Wormy scampered over to him and started twining between his ankles, squeaking anxiously, but Sirius nudged him back towards Prongs with his toe.

“I know. I’m going to.”

Remus’s hands and feet started to contort, claws breaking out from under the skin and his neck twisted back at a sickening angle. The process was tortuously slow, but Sirius couldn’t look away. His heart ached, watching as Remus’s body stretched and shrank, manipulated by some hidden power. He tugged his sleeve up and looked at the stark black circle on his skin. The windows of the shack were boarded up, but slivers of pale moonlight still filtered in, casting serrated shadows over Remus’s convulsing body. When he saw clumps of fur beginning to burst out of Remus’s skin, he took a deep breath and pulled his body into his mind, and again into Padfoot. When he landed he shifted a bit on his paws, taking stock of his surroundings.

He could hear Moony whimpering from across the room, but he forced himself to stay. Still. Silent. After a minute or two the wolf rose, and slowly turned to face them. Padfoot stepped forward slowly, bringing himself in between Moony and the other two. The wolf drew himself up, a growl rumbling deep in his throat. Padfoot lowered himself onto his belly, and inched forward, his tail beating slowly. Moony stalked forward, scenting the air, before he drew up next to the dog. Padfoot whined, and then slowly rolled onto his back, baring his throat.

The wolf nosed at his throat and opened his mouth to bite down lightly around it. Padfoot kept himself perfectly still though, and when Moony was satisfied he snuffled and licked at Padfoot’s muzzle. The dog flipped over, instantly energetic, and ran over to nose the door open. Prongs and Wormtail went first, followed by Moony, and Padfoot took up the rear, nipping at the wolf’s feet and urging him along. Once they made it outside, Moony took off and Padfoot had to push to keep up with him. They sprinted through the forest and eventually made their way to a grassy knoll. The moon was fully visible through a break in the trees, shining bright without any clouds to dim its light. Moony froze and looked up at it before emitting a long, plaintive howl. Padfoot joined in, throwing his head back and feeling the cry resonate through his entire body. Prongs came up to them, finally, and bowed in front of Moony. The wolf snorted and nudged the stag’s nose with his own. Prongs prodded at the wolf playfully with his antlers, and they both sprang into action, darting back and forth, playing with each other.

Eventually Padfoot got bored of being left out and barreled into Moony to get his attention. He yelped when the wolf grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and threw him a couple of feet, but he rolled over and got right back up, sprinting around the clearing and weaving through trees to chase the werewolf. He felt the moss and sod beneath his paws, and the rough scrape of brush against his flanks. They ran, and ran, and tumbled over each other for hours, never tiring of the game. The stag and the rat were always near, but they stayed separate for the most part, looking on at the two canines frolicking through the forest.

At some point they settled down by a stream. Padfoot ran over to splash in the water, while Moony stayed back and watched. When the moon began to dip low in the sky, Prongs pranced over to them, and gestured with his antlers in the direction of the shack. Padfoot whined in objection, but the stag snorted, and pawed the ground with his hoof. Relenting, he padded over to Moony, who was curled up by the roots of a tree, with Wormtail perched on his back. Padfoot pushed the rat off with his nose, and he landed with an indignant squeak before sprinting back over towards Prongs.

Moony lifted his head off his paws and looked at Padfoot appraisingly. The dog walked a few paces away and then turned back, waiting for the wolf to follow him. Moony let out a displeased grumble but got up and began to follow him. They made their way back slowly, and by the time the shack was in sight Moony was starting to limp a little, his body anticipating the change.

Once they made it back through the passageway and into the main room, Moony collapsed on the carpet, exhausted. Peter clamored up onto the piano and curled up in the pile of Remus’s clothes. Padfoot walked over to the wolf, suddenly hesitant after their night of play. Moony looked up at him and whined, so the dog took the last few steps and lay down next to him, nuzzling him slightly. The wolf let out a pleased huff and closed his eyes.

The transformation back was always easier, especially if Moony was tired out. He still whimpered and yipped in pain, but the moon’s release was much kinder than its capture. Once he was back in human form the three others changed back to help him onto the bed. Sirius shifted back into Padfoot again, and laid himself across the foot of the bed, eyes trained on the sleeping boy.

“Padfoot,” James whispered, once everything was situated. “We’re going to head back to the castle now, if that’s alright? I want to try and get some sleep in before Quidditch practice in the morning. You probably shouldn’t stay too much longer either.” The dog woofed softly in response, and once they were gone he crawled further up the bed, stretching out against Remus’s back. Padfoot pushed his nose into the soft hair at the nape of Remus’s neck. Remus mumbled and rolled over, throwing his arm around Padfoot’s neck in his sleep. The dog sighed contentedly, and tried to doze as well, but he couldn’t, so he just watched Remus’s face instead, the pain smoothed off his face by sleep.

Padfoot slipped out from under Remus’s arm when the first trickles of sunlight began to creep across the room. He shifted back into human form and grabbed Remus’s clothes from across the room. Last night had been a good one for Moony. As always, his ribcage was mottled with deep purple bruises, and he had a couple of scratches on his thighs, but other than that, he had come out unscathed. Sirius placed the clothes next to Remus on the bed, and shook his shoulder lightly, to try and wake him. Remus’s eyes fluttered open, and he smiled when he saw Sirius standing over him.

“Hey,” Sirius whispered, keeping his voice low and soothing. “Pomfrey is probably going to show up soon, so I’ve got to get out of here. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“How was it, last night?” Remus asked, shifting to try and sit up. On instinct Sirius reached down and wrapped an arm around his waist, and another behind his shoulders, to help him scoot up the bed. Remus made a tiny whimper and turned his head. His nose brushed against Sirius’s, and they stared at each other, eyes wide. They were so close that all of their facial features were weirdly distorted, but neither of them could look away, or move a muscle. When Remus exhaled a burst of air, and it fanned across Sirius’s lips, he blinked and slowly slid his arms off and away from Remus, taking a step back from the bed.

“Um,” he said, running a hand through his tangled hair. “Moony was fine last night. You don’t have any bad cuts or anything. How are you feeling?”

“Just sore, but nothing terrible,” Remus replied, twisting his fingers together anxiously in his lap, but meeting Sirius’s gaze unwaveringly.

“That’s good. I should really get out of here before Pomfrey arrives. But I’ll come see you in the infirmary later, if that’s ok?”

Remus nodded. “Sounds good. And thank you.”

Sirius smiled and placed a hand on the other boy’s bare shoulder. “Anytime, Moony.” His fingers lingered for a moment longer before they slipped off, and he turned to leave the room. Remus listened to Sirius’s footsteps echoing down the stairs, and along the passageway. When he could no longer sense his presence, he slid back down again, and let the exhaustion crash over him, and drag him back into sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~     

                     

Over the next week, after Remus had rested up and recovered, he and Sirius spent more and more time with each other in the evenings. This did not go unnoticed by the other two Marauders. James especially became increasingly frustrated with them sneaking back into the dorm room late at night. On Friday evening, after dinner, Sirius approached Peter who was sprawled out on his bed, working on a Transfigurations essay.

“Here you go, Wormy. Your week starts tomorrow, but I’m not going to use it tonight, so I figured I might as well hand it over early.”

Peter looked up in surprise, some ink dripping from his quill onto his already-messy parchment. “Oh, thanks Padfoot.”

“No problem, mate. Enjoy.” Sirius nodded at the other boy, before walking out of the dorm room, hands shoved deep into his trouser pockets and whistling brightly. Peter looked at the map for a moment, and then tossed it lightly so that it landed on the top of his trunk and went back to working on his essay. Barely two minutes later Remus left the room as well, not acknowledging James or Peter as he slipped out.

Peter worked for another half an hour or so before he was interrupted by a petulant James.

“Oi, Wormy. Hurry up and finish that essay!”

“Fuck off, Prongs. McGonagall will kill me if this one is as bad as last week’s—you saw the look she gave me when she handed them all back. Unlike Padfoot, I don’t get off on her glares.”

“But I’m bored,” James whined, rolling over to throw the quaffle he had been playing with at Peter.

“Then go find someone else to bother, arse.”

“Can’t. Remus and Sirius are off somewhere, didn’t you notice that they left within five minutes of each other again? Little sneaks.”

“They’ve really given up on subtilty this week, haven’t they?”

“But then they act all suspicious when they get back. I don’t know if they’ve lost their touch, or if they really think we’re that thick.”

“I dunno, mate. But I do need to finish this essay.”

“What if I promise to help you finish it later?”

Peter sighed. “What do you want, James?”

“I wanna go find them! It’s so obnoxious, to watch them make eyes at each other one minute, never actually do anything about it, but then disappear for hours on end the next.”

“Maybe they really are back together, but just don’t want to tell us yet.”

“No, Sirius was whining to me yesterday about how much he still misses Moony. If they were actually together he wouldn’t have said any of that shit. Besides, you know how gross and happy they look when they’re a couple.”

Peter rolled his eyes at that. “This is ridiculous, Prongs. Let them figure their own shit out for once.”

“Come on, Wormy. It’s Friday night. Let’s go out and find them, maybe even play a little spur of the moment, surprise prank. We haven’t done anything fun in ages because it’s all been about their bloody drama.”

“I think we should leave them alone. But it’s my week with the map—Sirius left it with me earlier this evening before he and Remus fucked off to wherever they’re hanging out. Do you want to do some mapping?”

“Sure! We haven’t in ages!”

“Ok, let me just finish this sentence and we can head out.”

Peter turned back to his parchment, sticking his tongue out between his teeth, as he scribbled an end to his thought before he tossed the quill down on the parchment. The map was on top of his trunk, where he had tossed it earlier, and he grabbed it while James rummaged around in his to find the cloak.

“Where should we go? Up towards the Astronomy tower maybe?” Peter asked.

“Sure, let’s see if either of them added anything during the past two weeks. Did he mention anything when he gave it to you?”

Shaking his head, Peter unfolded the parchment and tapped it with his wand. “I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.”

When the familiar black ink of the castle appeared, the two boys gasped at what they saw.

“What the fuck!”

“You can see _everyone_!”

“This is bloody incredible; how could they not have told us about this?” James shouted, snatching the map from Peter to lay it out on his bed.

“I don’t know, they’ve been so caught up in themselves, maybe they just forgot to mention it.”

“Don’t be stupid, Pete. They’ve kept this from us for a reason.”

“Why wouldn’t Sirius have mentioned this when he handed it over today?”

“Why didn’t they prank us before they handed it over for us to find out. That’s what I’m bloody confused about.”

“Maybe the prank is now?” Peter asked, drawing back a little and looking around the room anxiously.

“What do you mean?” James replied.

“It’s just rather suspicious, don’t you think? Sirius always forgets to give me the map when his week is up. But today he left it with me, a day early, without me even asking.”

“Good point,” James conceded, still distracted by the hundreds of names and dots slowly moving around the parchment.

“We could try and find them using the map,” Peter suggested.

“Definitely. We have the cloak and the new and improved map. I bet we can sneak up on them well enough.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Peter conceded, not quite convinced.

“Wormy! It’s a Friday night! The map shows us where everyone is, now. It would be negligent not to put it to good use.”

“Alright, Prongs. But if this is a trap you have to finish the essay for me by yourself.”

James scoffed. “Fine. But even if it is a trap, it’ll probably be great. They must have a good prank planned for a breakthrough this big.”

“Let’s find them on the map, then, before we head out.”

           

Sirius and Remus were tucked away in an alcove around the corner from the Slytherin dormitories. They had brought some snacks, but both boys had devoured them almost immediately upon arrival, and were now both sitting, staring at each other, trying to figure out what to do, or what to talk about, until James and Peter arrived.

“Shall we just run through the logistics again?” Sirius suggested, combing his fingers through his long hair, grimacing slightly when they tugged at some knots that had formed towards the ends.

“Sure,” Remus conceded, his green eyes luminescent in the dim light of the alcove. “As per the plan, James was kind of antsy today,”

Sirius snorted at that. “I orchestrated a nice little spat with Evans. He’s totally wound up.”

“Right,” Remus replied. “So, knowing James, I would give it half an hour before he starts badgering Peter.”

“And Peter will only put up a bit of a fight before he suggests that they go mapping, since I just gave him the map back.” Sirius said.

“And when they see everyone on the map, their first instinct, even if they think it might be fishy, would be to come find us.”

“They’ll probably think that we’re pranking the Slytherins, which will really piss James off.”

“He’ll be so indignant,” Remus laughed. “And to get here they could come two different ways, either the normal staircase, or down the hidden passageway we found last spring. My guess—the guess that we’re banking this whole endeavor on—is the passageway, because even if they have the cloak they won’t want to spend too much time wandering through the castle.”

“And you’ll be able to smell them before they get out of the passage?”

At this Remus twitched his nose, sniffing exaggeratedly. “Yup. I can smell those two from kilometers away. And they always forget it.”

Sirius grinned. “So, when you smell them coming we’ll slip out and head down towards the entrance to ole Sal’s chambers. They’ll be totally focused on tracking us on the map.”

“We’ll wait until they’re within earshot to say the password, they’ll follow us right through, and then we strike. I think it’s a seamless plan, Pads.”

“Thank Merlin for James’s reckless curiosity. And Peter’s inclination to do whatever the fuck James wants.”

Remus snorted at that. “We’re pretty predictable, too, to be fair.”

“How dare you!” Sirius retorted. “Maybe you are, Moony, but I am a paragon of unpredictability.”

“Sure, Pads. Whatever you say.” Remus replied, a wry but indulgent smile on his face.

“I do say. In fact, I think you will find, if you consider the full scope of my…” Sirius started, working up into a spirited diatribe, but Remus knocked his knees against Sirius’s before he could reach his full stride, shushing him simultaneously.

“They’re coming.”

Sirius’s eyes flashed with excitement. “Let’s fucking do this, Moony.”

The two boys stood, and slipped out of the alcove, slinking down the hallway. They turned the corner and continued until they reached a statue of a merman, glowering in the low light of the dungeons. They paused there, waiting. Remus’s back was tense, his eyes darting from left to right, and his nostrils flaring occasionally. Sirius, however, lounged casually against the wall, watching the other boy with a soft smile on his face. After a minute or two Remus inhaled a bit more deeply, and his eyes snapped up to meet Sirius’s. He smiled, and raised his eyebrows, nodding at Sirius to continue.

“What was the password again, Moony?” he asked, eyes dancing with amusement.

“ _Arbitrium et callidus_.” Remus replied, his voice echoing slightly down the hallway. He heard James and Peter’s feet pause when he spoke, and then pick back up again a moment later.

“Right, of course.” Sirius said, with a laugh. He stepped up to the merman and repeated the password, and the statue spun outward, a door appearing in the wall. The two boys pushed it open and stepped inside, exhaling in tandem when the door slid closed behind them. Sirius flicked his wand with a softly muttered _lumos_ , and a soft light flared up at the end of his wand. Remus turned toward him with a devious grin on his face.

“It’s fucking show time, Pads.”

Sirius returned the grin and lit his own wand. “See you on the other side, Moony.” He turned and sprinted off to a narrow doorway, disappearing from view. Remus, instead, took off around the edge of the room, hugging the wall. His eyes adjusted to the light quickly, and soon the darkness of the room began to coalesce into easily discernible shapes. Slytherin’s personal quarters were constructed like the inside of a Roman bathhouse. A two storied colonnade surrounded a pool of clear, glistening water. Plants and statues twined together in alcoves, and the starry night appeared above him. Breathing in Remus registered the scent of the spring breeze, and the soft minerality of water clinging to marble. The light of Sirius’s wand tip flickered above him on the second floor, as Sirius darted into place in the alcove directly across from the doorway. His timing was impeccable, as always. Right as he extinguished the _lumos_ , the door swung open and James and Peter shuffled in, only their feet visible for a moment, before they managed to fling the cloak off and look around, their own wands lighting up the room with a soft glow, its reflection undulating in the surface of the water. Remus whipped his wand up before they managed to glance around for very long, and dozens of torches burst into light, affixed to the circle of columns around the room. With the scoop of his wrist, and then a full step back, a massive snake emerged from the surface of the water. He exhaled heavily once it was up, arm trembling to keep the suspended water in place.

The snake bobbed and swayed a bit, water splashing over the edge of the pool and trickling across the slick marble floors towards the edges of the room. After a beat or two the silence of the room was sliced apart by a booming, furious voice.

“Who dares breach my solitude?”

“What the bloody buggering fuck is this?” Remus heard James exhale, and he drew his gaze away from the snake, finding James and Peter’s faces illuminated in in the flickering firelight. They each looked terrified, Peter had shuffled back slightly, so that he was just behind James’s shoulder, eyes darting around the room desperately taking in his surroundings. James, instead, had balled up his hands, his still-illuminated wand clutched in his extended right fist as he stared up at the snake.

Next a blood curdling scream pierced the air, echoing off the water and jangling through the columns. Remus felt the vibrations spreading across the back of his neck, shoulders involuntarily hunching up to his ears in response. James’s arm shook but he stood his ground. Remus could feel the scream coming to an end, and right when it cut out he released the snake and it crashed over the two boys at the front of the room. The water pummeled down, pushing them backwards, stumbling towards the door with its force. As the water subsided they began to splutter, catching their breath, and an uproarious cackle filled the air. Remus saw Sirius dart out from the statue that he had been hiding behind on the second floor. His wand was still pointed as his throat to amplify his voice, and his body was convulsing with the force of his laughter.

“Salazar, you should see your faces right now,” he wheezed. Remus rolled his eyes and stepped out of his own alcove, strolling towards James and Peter, who were still standing dumbstruck and sopping wet by the door.

“Sirius. I thought we agreed that you would not end the prank with that pun. It completely debases what we just did to these two plonkers.” He grinned wickedly when he reached James and Peter, offering them each a hand and wrenching them up to stand simultaneously.

“Alright there, lads?” Remus asked, stepping back to observe the damage in full. James blinked and then cuffed him in the shoulder, beginning to cackle as hard as Sirius.

“Merlin’s saggy ballsack, Moony.”

Sirius reappeared from the stairway then, and danced back towards them, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulder and squeezing tightly.

“Do either of you need a nappie change, because it absolutely looked like both of you just pissed your pants. Must have been a big one, Wormy. You’re wet all over. Haven’t we taught you how to aim your prick so this doesn’t happen?”

Peter snorted, and shoved Sirius away from him. “Bloody hell, Padfoot. You and Moony really outdid yourselves on this one.”

“Ta ever so, Wormy,” Sirius drawled, sweeping into an exaggerated bow. “As always, it was an honor and a pleasure to do business with you.”

James rounded on him, his uncharacteristic surprise finally waning, eyes flashing with excitement. “What are we celebrating? That was a bloody masterpiece! Where are we?” Sirius and Remus chuckled and stepped closer together to stand opposite the other two boys.

“Well you obviously got the map. Sirius figured that clever bit of cartography out in his research for Flitwick and Laveau.”

“And Remus found the Founder’s Quarters!” Sirius exclaimed. “We’ve got to show you the other three as well, but we figured that Slytherin’s would obviously be the best place for the prank.”

“The Founder’s Quarters?!” Peter squeaked.

“Wicked,” James exhaled craning his neck to look around. “This place is incredible, it reminds me of the ruins in Bath.”

“That’s precisely what it is,” Remus replied. “A Roman bathhouse. From what I’ve read about the ones in Bath, this one is astonishingly similar…”

“Moony, shut it, you can go full swot on the architecture later. We’re debriefing our brilliant success at the moment.” Sirius cut in.

“I would have expected Slytherin to have creepier rooms, honestly,” Peter said.

“I said the same thing, Wormy!” Sirius said, turning back to the shorter boy. “But it’s still ridiculously over the top, so at least we had that to work with.”

“Sirius wanted to combine the two discoveries into a mega prank.”

“And when we saw the room we knew exactly what we wanted to do.”

Buoyed by the prank, the Marauders spent the entire weekend in high spirits. Peter and James were happy to see Remus and Sirius interacting so effortlessly, and Sirius spent the weekend pestering them with all the intricate details that had gone into the planning and execution of the prank.

“Moony’s wandwork was absolutely incredible, don’t you think? He got that spell from a book on water charms meant to entertain children in the bath.”

“I think my mum used to use some charms like that when I was young,” James replied. “My favorite was when she’d make little horses gallop around the tub.”

“My mother certainly never bathed us herself, and the only reason Kreacher didn’t try and drown me is because I was the precious heir. But I did try to channel Her Wickedness with my scream—do you think I conveyed enough ruthless and utterly unhinged disgust?”

“I thought it was about five seconds too long, actually.” Remus said.

Peter laughed as Sirius threw his hands into the air in exasperation.

“You’re insane!! It was absolutely the correct length. Everything about me is perfectly proportional. My hair: perfect length. My dick: perfect length. My dramatic shrieks for the purposes of scaring James and Peter shitless: perfect length. Shall I continue?”

Remus snorted and quirked an eyebrow. “Interesting. I don’t remember you winning the dick measuring contest we had third year.”

“You weren’t even second, mate,” James interjected with glee.

Sirius rounded on James. “We all agreed that it was exceptionally cold that day. I will not stand for this slander!”

“If I remember correctly, getting your dick to stand was, in fact, the problem,” Remus said, eyes brimming with mirth.

“Fine. Let’s do it again, then!” Sirius said, hands moving towards his belt.

“Absolutely not,” Remus said. “We also all agreed that we’d never do it again, and I for one don’t care to whip my dick out right now.”

Sirius growled in frustration and stalked into the bathroom, flinging the door shut behind him. Remus smiled down at his book, missing the knowing look that Peter and James exchanged.

The following Saturday marked the final game of the Quidditch season. Gryffindor was up against Hufflepuff for the cup, and James was an uncontrollable ball of energy for the entire week leading up to the game. Saturday morning dawned with gloomy skies and chilly rain. After breakfast Remus ran back up to the tower to grab a couple of things. He gave his favorite armchair by the fire a longing look before he squared his shoulders and made his way to the pitch to do his duty as a friend and Marauder.

Lily caught up with him outside the doors to the Great Hall, and the two of them set out down the steps and across the grounds together.

“Is it alright if I sit with you during the match?” she asked.

“Sure,” Remus replied. “Peter and Sirius will both be there as well.”

“Sirius is going to watch? I thought he’d sworn off Quidditch for the year.”

“It’s the finals, he’d never miss it. Plus, James would be unbearable for days if he did.”

“Ugh, true. He’d be even more of a prat than usual. And that’s quite the achievement.”

“You’re not wrong,” Remus chuckled. “We should really thank Sirius for his sacrifice, and for sparing us from James’s extreme petulance.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Lily replied. She paused briefly and then said, “It seems as though the two of you are pretty much back to normal.”

Remus looked down at his shoes. “Things have been really good lately.”

“But?” Lily prompted.

“But I just really miss him.”

“You’ve been spending loads more time with him over the past month. You even skipped some of our study sessions for whatever inadvisable scheme you were working on last week, and our OWLS are only a week away at this point.”

“No. I mean, yes. We’ve been spending time together, but it’s just not the same. There’s still this invisible wall between us that we’re dancing around, trying to pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“How could you get rid of the wall? And do you want to?”

Remus sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. To either question, really. I don’t know how we’re supposed to act or exist together after what happened. But regardless it’s been really nice to spend time together. I was miserable when we weren’t talking. And I’m still kind of miserable, even though we are talking again.”

“I know,” Lily replied, reaching over to rub his arm sympathetically.

“Careful, mate,” a voice called from above them. “Don’t let her sink her claws in too deep.”

Remus and Lily looked up to see Sirius and Peter a few rows higher in the stands. Lily rolled her eyes and shot back, “I reserve my claws for things like reprimanding people when they’re needlessly tormenting other students, or out after curfew, as you are well aware, given your propensity for both of those activities.”

“Padfoot,” Remus said, in a low, warning tone as he reached the bench Sirius and Peter were occupying. “Be nice.”

Sirius rolled his eyes but conceded, scooting over to make room for Remus and Lily. The match started right as they got settled and the four Gryffindors were immediately focused on the action. Remus noted with interest that Lily’s breathing would shift ever so slightly whenever James was in possession of the quaffle.

After a few failed attempts, and a narrowly dodged bludger, James managed to score the first goal. The entire Gryffindor section burst into cheers and Peter and Sirius both jumped onto their feet with excitement, their whoops lasting longer than everyone else’s. In a relatively short period of time James, along with the other two Gryffindor chasers, managed to score a dozen goals, while Hufflepuff trailed with only one. The snitch hadn’t been sighted yet, and both seekers were methodically circling the pitch, keeping their eyes out.

Feeling his joints start to ache from the cold and the damp, Remus shifted in his seat. After a moment he decided he needed to stretch his legs, and maybe grab a cup of hot chocolate from the refreshments stand, so he slowly got to his feet. Sirius turned to look up at him.

“Everything ok, Moony?”

“Fine, I’m just going to grab some hot chocolate.”

Sirius’s eyes flickered anxiously to the pitch, and then back to Remus’s face. “Do you want me to go get it for you?”

Remus smiled down at him. “That’s alright, Pads. You should stay and watch, you don’t want to risk missing any of the action. I’ll be back in just a moment.”

“I’ll come with you, Remus,” Peter said, getting up and stepping over Sirius. “I’m going to get some as well, it feels like this game is going to be a long one.”

“Do you want anything, Lily?” Remus asked, but Lily shook her head.

“No thank you, I’m alright.”

Lily swung her legs to the side to allow Remus and Peter to pass, and Sirius went back watching the game. After a bit, she looked over at him, taking in his elegant profile; long black hair bundled up into an artful, yet messy bun that no matter how she tried, her own hair never managed to achieve with the same grace. Sensing her gaze, Sirius turned his head to stare back at her, gray eyes almost luminescent against the cloudy backdrop.

“What are you looking at, Evans?” he asked roughly.

“You, obviously,” she shot back, rolling her eyes.

“Well, cut it out,” he huffed, and turned back towards the match. Lily continued to watch him, and after moment he growled and looked back at her.

“I don’t know what you want, but I can already tell you that my answer will be to shove off.”

“You know, Black, I never get it when people talk about you being charming,” the redhead shot back. “I’ve never seen proof myself.”

“I’ve obviously never felt like trying to charm you,” Sirius replied.

“I’m well aware,” Lily said. “Sometimes I really struggle to understand what Remus sees in you.” Sirius stiffened at that, the emotion in his gaze suddenly shuttered and blank.

“I mean, after all this,” Lily continued, “and everything you’ve done…”

“I fail to see how any of this is of concern to you,” Sirius replied, voice as cold as the wind whipping past them.

“That’s rather stupid of you, Black. And I know you’re not stupid. Remus is my friend. I care about him, and his happiness.”

“I care about his happiness too,” Sirius growled.

“I know,” Lily replied. “As much as I hate to admit it, I know. And you make him happy.”

Sirius’s eyes widened at this admission. “Is this some sort of new strategy to fuck with me, Evans? Because I’m awfully confused at what’s happening right now.”

“No strategy. I’m just saying I can acknowledge that you make him happy.”

Sirius paused, and looked back over towards the match, noting that nothing crucial had happened during their conversation. Then, quieter, he replied.

“You make him happy, too. I know he really needed you that first month.”

“Yes,” Lily agreed. “But it isn’t me who he needs anymore.”

Sirius whipped his head back around to look at her. “What?”

“You know exactly what I’m implying, Black.”

“That’s not. I mean, I can’t. We can’t.”

“Why not? Don’t you want Remus to be happy?”

“Of course, I do. I would do anything for him, if I thought it would help. But there’s no way.”

“Oh, pull your head out of your arse, Sirius. Remus needs you, and you’re still so stuck wallowing in your own guilt that you can’t even see what’s right in front of you.”

“No, I’m not!” Sirius replied, indignant. Lily raised a devastating, judgmental eyebrow and he faltered.

“That can’t happen,” he muttered. “Remus is better off without me.”

“Bullshit,” Lily swore. “If Remus were better off without you he wouldn’t have rejoined your little Marauders gang. He’s forgiven you, and you know it.”

“He can’t, why would he?”

“Because, for reasons that I certainly do not fully comprehend, he loves you-”

Sirius choked at that, and began to shake his head, but Lily just blinked impassively and continued.

“He loves you, you imbecile. So, I’d suggest you figure out what the fuck you’re going to do about it. Because it’s done. You’re forgiven. And now you have to proceed somehow, instead of both just languishing in this awkward and unsustainable purgatory of feelings.”

“It’s not my call to make,” Sirius said, after a long pause. “He’s the one who has to make that decision.”

“Maybe. But you need to make him see that you’re willing to work for it.”

“How?” Sirius asked, warily.

“I haven’t the faintest idea. But you know him better than I do. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

“Figure what out?” Remus’s voice interjected into their conversation.

“What? Nothing, there’s nothing to figure out. Evans was just, um, well she was suggesting that I-”

“I was suggesting that Sirius should make sure that all of his citations are in order for his independent study. Flitwick hates when things aren’t properly documented,” Lily cut in smoothly over Sirius’s spluttering.

Remus quirked an eyebrow, clearly skeptical, but he didn’t press the issue. After Peter got over to his own seat, he sat back down between Sirius and Lily and took a sip from the mug in his right hand.

“Here,” he said, passing Sirius the mug in his left hand.

“What’s this?” Sirius asked, looking down at the drink in his hands.

“It’s hot chocolate, obviously,” Remus replied, laughing.

“For me?”

“Yeah, I figured I might get you one as well.”

“Thanks, Moony,” Sirius said, and took a sip. The rich, warm taste of chocolate spread over his tongue, but it was cut with the sharp burn of firewhiskey.

“Moony, you sly dog” Sirius murmured in surprised appreciation.

“Figured you’d appreciate the addition,” Remus replied, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he took a sip of his own beverage. “I know it must be tough to be sat here watching, when you should be playing.”

Sirius looked over, a swooping sensation filling his belly at the earnest sincerity in Remus’s voice. “Cheers, mate. I appreciate it.”

“Course, Pads. Anytime.”

Sirius smiled, and then, suddenly emboldened by what Lily had said, he slowly, cautiously, eased his arm over until his elbow was pressed against Remus’s. Sirius felt the contact spark across his skin, relishing in the sensation of Remus’s body against his for the first time in months.

Remus’s eyes widened in surprise, and he held his breath, heart pounding in his ears. Eventually, he exhaled and shifted away, putting a few centimeters between their arms. Sirius’s eyes flickered down to the other boy’s mouth, unsurprised to see that Remus had already tugged his bottom lip in-between his teeth in consternation. Sirius refused to so much as glance towards Lily, terrified of what he’d see if he looked over at her, so he turned back to the match, jostling Peter to get himself riled up again.

“C’mon Pete, we’ve got to up our cheering game don’t you think?”

           

Peter’s hunch ended up being correct, and after five hours of slow play in the miserable, chilly drizzle, the Gryffindor seeker finally caught the snitch. The crowd let out a massive cheer, and Sirius immediately pushed his way down the steps to make it to the pitch, throwing his arms around a waiting James.

“Congrats, Prongs! You did it!”

“We did it, Pads. The team never would have gotten to the finals without you.”

Sirius smiled, and jabbed James with his elbow, “Too right. Without my ball smashing, who knows where you lot would be?”

“Somewhere dreadful, that’s for sure. Wanna shower in the locker rooms? The dorm bathroom will be so crowded if you go up with Pete, Frank, and Remus.”

“Sure, that way we can get to the party faster.”

“Precisely, Pads.”

The two boys made their way off the pitch, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. When they got into the locker room Sirius headed over to his old locker.

“I’ve still got an extra change of clothes in here! Brilliant.”

He and James both stepped into the stalls, and the two of them chatted and joked as the rest of the team filed in, tired but exuberant. After they finished showering, they dressed quickly and sprinted back up to the castle, huddled together under an umbrella charm. Once they got inside and began making their way up to the dorm, Sirius shoved his hands deep into his pockets and looked over at his friend.

“I had a really bizarre conversation with Evans in the stands,” he said.

James stopped walking and spun to face him. “You had a conversation with Lily?” he asked. “Did she say anything about me?”

Sirius groaned and shoved James back into the wall. “No, you twat. You never came up. We talked about Remus.”

“Woah, what?”

“Yeah. She said that I should go for it, with Moony.”

“Lily told you to do that?” James asked incredulously.

“She told me to pull my head out of my arse and do something about the fact that Moony and I are still pining for each other.”

James was silent for a long moment before letting out a long exhalation of breath.

“I really am going to marry her one day.”

“James!”

“It’s true, Pads. She’s a bloody genius, and I love her.”

“She’s an exceedingly annoying witch who has far too many opinions.”

“Well in this case, her opinion is absolutely correct.” James said, smiling.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I think the two of you should get back together. Remus has forgiven you, and both of you are just wallowing in self-pity instead of actually doing anything about it.”

“I don’t really like this whole you-agreeing-with-Evans thing.” Sirius grumbled. “And I still can’t believe that she would even talk to me about this. I figured she’d want to keep Remus away from me altogether.”

“She must really think that it’s best for Remus.” James said.

“What the fuck does she know about what’s best for Remus,” Sirius said, grumpily.

“Everyone knows that you’re what’s best for Remus,” James said, his voice becoming stern. “You fucked up, Pads. But you’ve been trying to fix it and doing a really good job. And Remus needs you back now, not just as a friend.”

Sirius ducked his head, scuffing his toes against the stone floor. “I just don’t know how Moony can ever trust me again, or if I can trust myself around him.”

“That’s for the two of you to figure out together, mate. But I definitely think that you should do something, show him that you still belong together.”

Sirius nodded at James’s advice, considering it. “Well, let’s head up to the tower. The party’s probably already started, and we don’t want to miss too much of the celebration prattling on like this.”

The two continued together up to Gryffindor tower, and indeed, the party was already in full swing by the time they climbed through the portrait. Most of the Gryffindor team was back and let out a cheer when they saw James and Sirius arrive. A handful of older Ravenclaws were also there, mingling around the drinks table. Sirius said hello to the team, but quickly excused himself when talk turned back to the game. Watching it had been more difficult than he expected, and every time his replacement took a shot, or blocked a bludger, he had run through all of the things he would have done differently in his head.

Lost in his own thoughts, Sirius made his way over to grab a cup of spiked punch. He lounged against the wall in the corner of the common room, skimming the room but not catching sight of Remus or Peter yet. As he was taking a sip of his punch he felt someone come up next to him, and he turned to catch sight of Gilderoy Lockhart, a sixth year Ravenclaw who Sirius found particularly irritating.

“Sirius, nice to see you!” Lockhart said, bracing his forearm on the wall by Sirius’s shoulder and leaning into his space.

“Lockhart. Nice of you to join our little celebration.” Sirius replied, eyes trained on the entryway to the staircase, hoping that Remus would appear and save him.

“I wouldn’t miss it. Of course, I certainly missed watching you fly today.”

“Mmm,” Sirius hummed, utterly disinterested.

“Listen, Sirius. I’ve a bit of a proposition for you.” Lockhart said. “I was wondering whether you might be interested in having a little fun together every now and again, if you know what I mean.”

Sirius’s eye’s snapped back to Lockhart’s face.

“Now I know this might come as a bit of a surprise. And I know that my looks can be somewhat intimidating, but you must have at least a little understanding of what it’s like.”

“What it’s like?” Sirius asked, baffled.

“To be so much more attractive than the people around you, of course.”

Sirius snorted with incredulity at this, and over Lockhart’s shoulder he saw Remus step into the room, looking around. Sirius caught his eye and frantically gestured for him to come over. Wrinkling his brow in confusion, Remus complied, and began to make his way through the crowd.

“It’s been a while since you and Lupin broke it off, and, if I may be so bold, I think that was definitely a good choice on your part,” Lockhart continued, undeterred.

“Excuse me?” Sirius ground out, gritting his teeth.

“He’s awfully pathetic looking, if you think about it. Scars can be dashing, but he’s got a few too many. Besides, he always looks tired, and if you’re going to have scars like that you need a certain swagger.”

Sirius could feel the anger begin to build up in his body, but he took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

“Sorry, Lockhart, but no thanks. I’d rather jump off the astronomy tower than fool around with you, honestly.”

Lockhart took a step back, his pale blue eyes full of surprise, but Sirius wasn’t finished.

“Besides, Remus is a real animal in bed, and I highly doubt you’d be able to live up to his standards.”

Lockhart stood there, stunned, as Remus made his way over to Sirius past the last few clumps of people.

“Remus, thank Merlin!” Sirius exclaimed. “Lockhart here was just leaving,” he said, and with an indignant sniff, the Ravenclaw stalked away. Once he was gone Sirius slumped against the wall, gulping down the remainder of his punch.

“I am not nearly drunk enough for this shit,” he said, looking over at Remus.

Remus looked a bit discomfited and swiped them both new cups of punch before leaning up against the wall next to Sirius.

“Animal in bed, Sirius, really?” he said after a pause.

Sirius snorted. “Oh please, Moony, no need to be so sensitive. Saying you’re _100-percent-definitely-a human with a slight furry problem that does not impact your ability to fuck me whatsoever_ sounds so lame. I was clearly using a metaphor to describe how utterly delicious you are in bed. Plus, you know your inner wolf loved to ravish me.”

“While I appreciate your praise, I don’t exactly need you going around telling the whole school about my sexual prowess, animalistic or not.” Remus paused for a moment and looked over at Sirius, who was regarding him with an intense, unreadable gaze. Taking a breath and steeling himself, he continued, ignoring his inner toil and the possessive growling of the wolf.

“And anyways, Sirius, you could have hooked up with him if you wanted. It would probably do you some good.”

Sirius’s expression faltered for an instant before he replied, voice bright yet somewhat brittle with effort. “Moony, I don’t need to see Lockhart’s cock to know that it is woefully lacking in comparison to yours. I have standards, didn’t you hear me say so?” Sirius stopped and glanced away, before continuing in a deeper tone, voice suddenly husky with emotion.

“Besides, Remus, you’re the only one that I want anyway. That hasn’t changed, and I don’t ever want it to.”

Remus blinked. “Sirius, I-”

“No, Moony,” Sirius started, cutting him off. “I’m not asking for anything from you. I’m just letting you know how I feel.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Remus muttered, looking away from Sirius and out across the party.

“You don’t need to say anything, Remus. I know what it’s like, up in that brain of yours; you probably need some time to process. And once you do, however long it takes, if you do want to say anything to me, you know where to find me.”

Sirius reached out and hooked his pinky around Remus’s, squeezing lightly—a gesture they had always used when one of them needed reassurance in public. Remus glanced down to look at their intertwined fingers, and Sirius pulled away, bringing his cup up in a salute.

“Enjoy the party, Moony,” he said, before turning and making his way over to join James in the cluster of people congregating in the middle of the room. Remus stood frozen in place, staring dumbfounded at Sirius’s retreating form.

Remus was uncharacteristically the last one down to breakfast the next day. He slid onto the bench next to Peter and immediately reached for the plate of sausages in front of him. At the same time, Sirius reached out to push the plate closer to him. Their hands met, fingers tangling briefly, before Remus pulled back. Sirius smiled and transferred a few links onto Remus’s plate.

“Sorry Moony, I’m not trying to get in between you and your meat. I know how dangerous you can be if you go too long without a good mouthful of sausage,” Sirius said, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” Remus muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

James and Peter were looking back and forth between the two of them with glee.

“Holy shit, he’s back!” Peter said.

“My cards are on the table lads, and it’s up to Remus. The quaffle is in his hands now-”

“And we all know how good Remus is at handling balls,” James said, swiftly cutting Sirius off.

Sirius’s eyes widened, and Peter snorted into his pumpkin juice.

“That’s what you were going to say—admit it!” James crowed.

Sirius and Remus made eye contact across the table, and Sirius did not miss the corners of Remus’s mouth twitching in amusement, or the soft openness to his gaze that Sirius had been craving for the past few months.

“It was,” Sirius replied, smirk blooming across his face.

“Get in!!” James cheered, pumping his fist in the air. Unable to control themselves any longer, the other three boys burst into laughter.

The boys continued with their breakfast until Remus pushed his empty plate away and said, “Alright, lads. I’m sure you’re all aware of what today is.”

“Moony, no!” Sirius and James groaned in tandem.

“That’s right. It’s a week until our exams start, which means all pranks are officially on hiatus until we’ve finished taking our OWLS.”

“But things are just getting back to normal. We can’t squander this regained Marauder mojo!” James protested. “C’mon Moony, please. Just a little one?”

“Rules are rules, boys. We all agreed on this at the beginning of the year.”

“But-” Sirius said.

“Sirius, I suggest you drop it, or you’re unlikely to be getting O’s of any kind, grade or otherwise.” Remus said, standing and collecting his bag. “You lot can do whatever you want...except anything prank related. I’m going to meet Lily in the library.”

Sirius was frozen in shock for a moment as Remus walked away but he quickly recovered himself and scrambled to grab his things and disentangle himself from James and the bench, before hurrying after Remus. He caught up to him in the corridor just outside the Great Hall.

“Moony, Remus, wait up.”

Remus paused and looked over his shoulder. Sirius reached him, and they began walking together in the direction of the library.

“Did you mean that?” Sirius blurted out after a moment, looking over at Remus. “Or was it a joke? Because we don’t...I just want to make sure that we-”

“Pads,” Remus said softly. Sirius fell quiet. “I meant it. I’m not ready quite yet, for sex or anything, especially since our OWLS are next week and I’ve got so much revising to do. But I want to try. So let’s just take things slow right now, make sure we’re being careful.”

Sirius dragged in a shaky breath, tugging at a strand of hair by his ear. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not sure that it’ll work out the way we want it to. But I’ve really missed you Sirius, and I’m fucking sick of missing someone who’s right in front of me.”

“Me too, Moony.”

Remus grabbed Sirius by the wrist, stilling him, and leaned in to press a soft kiss against his cheek. When he pulled back, he saw that Sirius was blinking away tears.

“Hey,” he said softly, swiping a finger under Sirius’s eyes. “It’s ok.”

“I just don’t know how it can be ok,” Sirius whispered. “I still feel so fucked up.”

“It’s going to take a while,” Remus replied, rubbing his thumb in circles on the inside of Sirius’s wrist. “But I think we can get through it. We’ve already got this far.”

“But, you’ve forgiven me?” Sirius asked, eyes desperate and searching.

“Yes,” Remus said firmly. “I have.”

“I don’t understand how,” Sirius said, and Remus shook his head.

“The how isn’t important. I don’t even really understand it myself, honestly. But I know why. Because I’m better with you, and you’re better with me. So, even though it’ll probably be tough, figuring out how to do it all over again, to get back to trusting each other, I trust myself. And I want you. Do you trust me?”

Sirius nodded and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I trust you, Remus.” He took another moment to gather himself and then shot a devious look over at Remus.

“You know, Moony. You can take it as slow as you like, but I think I’m going to take this as an opportunity to seduce you nice and proper. Eventually you’ll wear down and drag me into an unoccupied classroom to ravage me. Or, if we’re very lucky, an occupied classroom...serious question, do you think Binns would notice if we fucked during History of Magic?”

Remus laughed. “Alright, you voyeuristic little shit. That’s enough. I really have got to study with Lily.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Sirius replied. “I’ve still got loads to do on my independent study, so I’m probably going to hunker down at my carrel today and get some work in.”  

 

Unsurprisingly, Sirius took the seduction strategy very seriously over the next few days. At breakfast the next morning he made a show of putting his hair up, slowly and deliberately. Remus’s gaze lingered on the curve of his neck, but he just smiled placidly at Sirius while sipping his tea. The following morning Sirius roused himself earlier than normal, so that he was just leaving the shower when Remus woke up. Remus openly stared as he made his way over to his trunk, towel slung low on his hips, and hair clinging in wet tendrils to his shoulders and collarbones. But by the time Sirius turned around, finished strutting, Remus had already disappeared into the bathroom. On Wednesday night Sirius spent a great deal of time drinking obscenely from a bottle of butterbeer, which merely elicited some eye rolling from Remus, and countless rounds of snickers from James and Peter.

After all of his initial ploys failed, Sirius decided that he needed to up his game. On Friday afternoon, when Peter, James, and Frank were revising in the library, he orchestrated for Remus to walk in on him just after he finished tossing off. He timed it using the map, getting worked up just watching Remus’s dot move through the castle. When he arrived, Remus’s nostrils flared, taking in the scent. His eyes flashed dark with lust, but he merely nodded at Sirius, who was splayed, spent and disheveled across his bed, before grabbing some books and leaving the room. Sirius growled, equal parts frustrated and aroused at Remus’s dedication to ignoring him, and had a quick, furtive second wank while thinking of new ways to try and get a rise out of Remus.

Remus was scheduled for rounds on Saturday night, and Sirius was determined to use it as an opportunity to lure him away from his patrolling partner. The plan was to lie in wait in their old, favorite broom cupboard and, hopefully, entice Remus to make some new memories with him there. James was reluctant to help at first, but when Sirius reminded him that he’d need someone to keep Lily distracted while he ambushed Remus, the other boy instantly agreed.  

Unfortunately, this plan too was destined to fail. It was the start of Remus’s week with the map, and he’d snagged it before heading out on rounds, leaving Sirius without a way to effectively track him. Sirius refused to let this dissuade him from his goal, so he and James made their way down to the second floor. When they turned the corner to the stretch of corridor that housed the broom cupboard, both Gryffindors stopped in their tracks. Regulus, and one of his fellow housemates, Mulciber, were engaged in what looked like a heated discussion just a few paces away. Mulciber was looming over Regulus menacingly, while the younger boy glared up with defiance. When they realized they had company, Mulciber took a quick step back from Regulus, and whipped his wand out, turning to face James and Sirius.

“Look what we have here,” Mulciber sneered, “two blood traitors out for an evening stroll?”

Regulus glanced between Mulciber and his brother, but said nothing, his fingers twitching towards his pocket where his wand was stowed.

“Regulus, Mulciber, wasn’t expecting to see you two down here,” James said calmly, taking a step forward, attempting to partially obscure Sirius from view.

Mulciber snorted. “Have you got Potter playing guard dog for you now, Black? My how the mighty have fallen.”

Sirius growled and stepped back into view, glaring at the two Slytherins. “What are you lot doing here?”

“I’m afraid you’re no longer privy to such information, given how you’ve renounced your entire family and all of the values that you were raised with,” Mulciber replied, eyes flashing. “You know,” he continued, “everyone is quite disappointed with you. We all noticed that you stopped hanging out with your little blood traitor gang for a while. Apparently your mother was quite pleased with this news, wasn’t she Regulus?”

Regulus averted his eyes, but nodded.

“Yes. Apparently she was hoping that you’d finally realized what an error you’d made, turning your back on your heritage. In fact, I think she was almost ready to welcome you home once term was over.” Mulciber chuckled, his lips twisting into a cruel approximation of a smile.

“I would never go back to her,” Sirius said, voice trembling with barely contained rage. “I will never, ever go back to that evil place.”

“It’s our home,” Regulus spoke, voice quiet.

“A home is somewhere you are safe and loved, Regulus. Not somewhere you live in constant fear of pain and torture.”

“And I suppose you thought you’d found a new home, with your Gryffindor mates?” Mulciber said, voice silky and dangerous. “But you nearly lost it, didn’t you? They nearly tossed you out forever because of whatever you did to that half-breed Lupin. And what would you have done then, what could you have done except return to your rightful place as the Black heir?”

Sirius sensed movement behind him, but he was too focused on his brother and Mulciber to take note.

“Don’t call him that. You don’t deserve to even speak his name.”

“And yet, you betrayed him Black, and have been kneeling at his feet for months to make amends, like a little bitch. To think, a Black, begging for forgiveness, groveling like a worm in front of a dirty beast like Lupin. It’s disgusting.”

“You’re disgusting,” Sirius snapped. “Remus is more of a man than you’ll ever be, than either of you will ever be.”

Mulciber scoffed, “He certainly keeps you on a tight leash, Black. I can’t believe you threw away everything you were born with for scum like that. Think how much you could have had.”

Sirius drew in a deep breath, trying to steady himself and calm the racing of his heart that felt like it was about to pound its way right out of his chest. _Steady on_ , he thought to himself. _Don’t let this fucker goad you into doing something stupid. You’re better than this, don’t do anything that would disappoint Remus._

“I’m terribly sorry if I’ve given you all a false hope, but I was never in danger of being seduced back into your vile cult. I know what you do, and I know what’s on your arm, Mulciber. I made it quite clear at Christmas that I was leaving for good.”

Mulciber’s eyes flicked over Sirius’s shoulder. “Ah, here’s the half breed now, with a mudblood, come to rescue you. Looks like it’s your lucky day, Black.”

Remus and Lily moved forward, coming to stand between James and Sirius and the Slytherins.

“Alright lads?” Remus asked calmly. Mulciber snorted, but lowered his wand.

“We were just leaving. It’s nearly curfew after all, and we certainly don’t want to be out of bounds, do we, Regulus?” With that, he shot one more nasty look at Sirius and turned to stalk away. Regulus paused, as if he was going to say something, but then shook his head and turned to walk away as well, disappearing out of sight as he turned the corner.

James exhaled, letting his wand arm fall back to his side. “Thank Merlin you two showed up.”

Sirius said nothing, his gaze falling to the floor. Suddenly a fist grabbed him, curling up in the collar of his robes, and he was flung backwards, stumbling into the wall. He looked up to see Remus advancing towards him, a manic look in his eyes.

“Moony, what? I-I didn’t do anything I swear. I didn’t hit them with a single curse!”

James and Lily gawked as Remus stalked over to Sirius, a low rumble rising in the back of his throat. Remus pulled up in front of Sirius, his green eyes boring into Sirius’s grey ones, flashing with intensity, and then he reached out and tangled a hand into Sirius’s hair, fingers forcing Sirius’s face towards his. He paused for one more breath, their faces barely a centimeter apart, before Remus crashed his lips down onto Sirius’s.

Sirius let out a muffled noise of surprise, his hands hanging listlessly at his sides for a moment, until he came to his senses and wrapped them around Remus, drawing him closer.

“Remus,” Sirius sighed against the other boy’s mouth, as they licked and nipped and sucked at each others lips.

“Jesus Christ,” Lily said, watching the spectacle.

“It’s about time,” James replied, glancing over at her with a smile.

Lily hesitated, but then smiled back. “I know, right. Finally.”

“I was getting so sick of their stupid dance,” James said, shaking his head.

“We all were, Potter. And as we just discovered, apparently even Slytherins have been watching their bullshit go down. I’ve got to tell Marlene they finally cracked, I think I’ve just won a few galleons from her pool—I said they wouldn’t make it to exam week before cracking.”

“Me too,” James said, “although I dunno how fair it was for us to bid, since we had some insider information.”

Lily scoffed at that. “Don’t be silly, Potter. All’s fair in love and war and we might as well profit from their stupidity.”

The two of them looked back at their friends to see that Remus had picked Sirius up, legs now wrapped around his waist, Sirius’s back still pinned to the wall.

“Oi!” James shouted. “Lads, we agreed that you would keep it in your pants in public, remember?”

Remus detached his lips from Sirius’s neck and looked over his shoulder, growling menacingly at James. Lily’s eyes widened, but James laughed, unconcerned.

“Get it together, Moony. You’ve still got an hour left on rounds with Evans. I’ll take Padfoot back up to the dorm and clear Frank and Peter out. You can continue this when you get back, you horny mutts.”

“Thanks,” Lily said, looking at James.

“No worries, Evans. All in a day’s work.” He flashed her a grin and she rolled her eyes, but still nodded gratefully. They looked back over at Remus and Sirius, who were now rapidly whispering, cupping each other’s faces in their hands. James shook his head and flicked his wand, aiming a powerful _aguamenti_ in their direction to douse them with cold water.

“Merlin, fine!” Sirius whined, and they disentangled themselves from each other. Remus gave Sirius one last, lingering look, and pressed a kiss to his forehead before stepping away regretfully. He made his way back over to Lily, looking apologetic and slightly embarrassed.

“Um...sorry about that,” he said, with a rueful twist to his kiss-plumped lips.

“That’s ok, Remus. But we really should keep going.”

He nodded and glanced back at Sirius, who was still slumped against the wall, dripping wet.

“See you in a bit, Sirius?”

Sirius just nodded, still a bit dazed, and Remus and Lily turned to walk away. Lily hit him with a drying charm as they turned the corner, and Sirius’s legs finally buckled and he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, eyes glazed over.

When Remus made it back up to the dorm he found Sirius sitting on his bed, fidgeting with the sleeves of his jumper.

“Hey,” Remus said softly, and Sirius looked up.

“You’re back.” Sirius said, watching Remus move across the room towards him and climb onto the bet to sit next to him.

“Just finished with Lily, I came as soon as I could.” Remus reached out and grabbed Sirius’s left hand, pulling it into his lap.

“What were you doing on the second floor anyway?” Remus asked, toying with Sirius’s fingers.

“I was planning on luring you into the broom cupboard. But then we ran into Reg and Mulciber. I wasn’t out looking for them, I swear!”

“It’s ok Sirius,” Remus said. “I believe you. And even if you had been, you didn’t do anything.”

“I wanted to,” Sirius muttered.

“So did I,” Remus said, moving his fingers to stroke the inside of Sirius’s wrist. “I wanted to tear Mulciber in half for talking to you like that.”

“But it was you he was saying such terrible things about,” Sirius protested, leaning his head onto Remus’s shoulder.

“He was saying those things to make you feel shitty, to try and get a rise out of you. But you stayed calm. I’m so proud of you Pads.”

Sirius whimpered, and Remus shushed him, swirling his fingers further up Sirius’s forearm and edging the sleeve up as he went.

“All I could think was...don’t do anything stupid, don’t do something that would make Remus upset.”

“And you didn’t. You stayed calm. A few months ago you would have been throwing curses left and right.”

“A few months ago I nearly got you killed.”

“But you didn’t, and I’m here,” Remus said, inching Sirius’s sleeve up further with his fingertips. He looked down, tracking the motion with his eyes, and saw a hint of black ink peeking out. Remus froze, and then slowly pushed the sleeve up to Sirius’s elbow, revealing the stark outline of a waxing gibbous on his forearm.

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, tracing the image with a finger. “When did you get this?”

“That first moon, when you didn’t want me to run with you.”

“And you went to see Andy, of course. But, Sirius?” Remus broke off, and looked up to meet the other boy’s gaze, his forehead furrowed with questions.

“It changes every day, with the moon.” Sirius explained. “I’d wanted it for ages, but Andy wouldn’t touch me till I was 16.”

“I can’t believe you did this for me, Sirius. It’s beautiful.”

“I did it for me too. It’s-” Sirius broke off, voice suddenly rough with emotion. Remus circled an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

“This Christmas, when I ran away for good,” Sirius started again, “it’s because they tried to force me to take the mark.”

Remus froze, his grasp on Sirius’s forearm tightening. “You never told me.”

“I didn’t tell anyone. It was bad enough that the Potters saw me stumble through the floo, still trembling from my father’s _cruciatus._ But I couldn’t bear to even think about how they wanted to brand me, like a fucking cow, with their Dark Lord’s mark.”

“Oh, Sirius,” Remus said, pulling him into his lap completely and burying his face in the back of Sirius’s neck. “I’m so sorry, love.”

Sirius shook his head and twisted around until he was facing Remus.

“I marked myself here, because I needed to see something that I chose, that meant something to me, to remind myself that I escaped.”

Remus shook his head in disbelief and reached up to cup Sirius’s cheek with his hand. “You brave, beautiful boy.”

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face to press a kiss into the center of Remus’s palm.

“Rem,” he whispered. “Please. I need you. I need to just, not think for a little while.”

Remus nodded and gently transferred Sirius off his lap and onto the bed. “Of course, love. Anything you want.”

Remus shucked his robes off, and then tugged Sirius’s jumper over his head before unbuttoning his own shirt. They both wiggled out of their trousers and pants and kicked them off the bed in tandem. Then Remus pushed Sirius down onto his back, crawling up and bracing himself over Sirius with his forearms, the flexing of his muscles causing the scars to ripple across the surface of his skin.

Remus nuzzled Sirius’s neck with his nose, mouthing at his earlobe and dragging his lips along the other boy’s jaw until he finally captured his lips in a kiss. Just as he had done earlier, Sirius sighed in contentment against Remus’s lips, and brought his hands up, dragging them over the planes of Remus’s back. Sirius licked into Remus’s mouth, almost delirious with the relief of finally, finally being able to touch him again.

Remus lowered his weight onto his knees, on either side of Sirius’s hips, and sat up, straddling the other boy’s waist. He smiled down at Sirius, who was flushed and dazed against the pillow. Remus reached down to scratch at Sirius’s scalp, combing his fingers through the black, silky hair.

“What do you want to do, Pads?” he asked, Sirius squirming in pleasure as Remus played with his hair. Remus trailed his other hand down Sirius’s chest, and swiped the pad of his thumb over one of his nipples. Sirius arched into the contact, biting his lip to stifle a moan.

“None of that,” Remus said, leaning back down to kiss Sirius again. “Let me hear you.”

“Moony,” Sirius panted, and Remus brought both hands to play with his nipples rolling them between his fingers.

“Sirius, tell me what you want,” Remus said again, licking his fingers and bringing them back to Sirius’s nipples.

“Mmph, feels good,” Sirius groaned.

“Good, wanna make you feel good,” Remus replied, dragging his fingernails softly down the other boy’s chest.

“Will you suck me, Remus? Please?” Sirius asked, looking up at him through lowered lashes.

“Of course,” Remus replied, giving him another lingering kiss, their tongues lazily sliding over each other. Sirius bit down, tugging Remus’s bottom lip between his teeth before releasing it. Remus sucked and bit his way down Sirius’s torso, nibbling each nipple in turn, and then soothing them with a kiss, tongue laving across, leaving a trail of moisture. Remus licked into Sirius’s belly button, causing the other boy to squirm, and he brought his arms up, braced across Sirius’s chest, to hold him still.

When Remus finally arrived at Sirius’s cock he hummed in appreciation, sucking open mouthed kisses on either side of the base. “Hello,” he rumbled, lips not moving from Sirius’s skin. “I’ve missed you.”

Sirius whined, and tangled his fingers into Remus’s tousled curls. “Don’t tease, please.”

“Oh love, the teasing has only just begun,” Remus chuckled. He licked at the creases that joined Sirius’s legs to his crotch, nipping and sucking the soft skin on the inside of Sirius’s upper thighs.

“Mmph, too much,” Sirius whimpered, and Remus nodded, blowing cool air on the reddened marks.

Next, leaving one arm draped across Sirius’s chest, he brought the other down, cupping Sirius’s balls lightly in his palm and massaging circles at the place where they joined with his dick. Then he slid his hand up and grasped Sirius’s shaft firmly in his fist.

“Oh!” Sirius gasped. Remus smiled and dragged his hand up slowly, before he gently slid Sirius’s foreskin down, and then back up again, fingers tugging at the skin and teasing Sirius’s slit.

“Merlin I’ve missed this,” Sirius groaned, arching into the touch, unable to sqirm too much because of the pressure of Remus’s arm across his chest.

“Me too,” Remus smiled, and lowered his mouth, suckling on the tip of Sirius’s dick.

Sirius moaned as Remus’s mouth descended, enveloping his shaft, Remus’s tongue massaging the underside of his prick. “Fucking hell, your mouth,” he whimpered, fingers tightening and flexing in Remus’s hair.

Remus smirked around his mouthful, humming in appreciation, and began sucking in earnest, dragging his mouth up and down Sirius’s shaft. Every so often he’d nearly pull off, the tip of his tongue circling under the sheath of Sirius’s foreskin, before he’d lower back down, his nose nestled in the soft black curls at the base of Sirius’s cock.

After a little while Sirius tugged on Remus’s hair, fingernails scratching into his scalp. “Close, Rem. I’m getting close.”

Remus grunted and slowly pulled off, a string of saliva connecting his mouth to Sirius’s dick as he moved away. Sirius’s eyes lingered on it after it snapped, dangling obscenely from Remus’s lips. Then he dragged a hand out of Remus’s hair, down the side of his face, to press his fingers into Remus’s mouth. Remus smiled wickedly, and flicked his tongue in between them, curling it around the fingertips. Sirius brought his fingers back to his chest, sliding them across his nipples, twisting one between his thumb and index finger. Remus brought his left hand to Sirius’s cock, stroking it slowly, as his right fingers traveled down further, squeezing and massaging Sirius’s sack, and then pressing two fingers into his taint, rubbing slow circles while his thumb continued to sweep across his balls.

“Do you want me to fuck you, love?” Remus asked, eyes dark with lust.

“Please,” Sirius nodded frantically, trembling slightly in anticipation.

Remus leaned forward and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to Sirius’s open mouth.

“I’ll make you feel so good, I promise.” He twisted his left hand on Sirius’s prick, pulling a gasp out of him at the change of angle.

“You already are, fuck.”

Remus pulled his hand off Sirius’s dick, and brought it up to cup Sirius’s neck. “I’ll be right back, just need to grab the lube.” Remus slipped off the bed, trailing his hand down Sirius’s thigh and calf, and squeezing his ankle, before he let go and padded over to his trunk to pull out a vial of lube. Then he crawled back up the bed between Sirius’s legs, his knees nuding Sirius’s thighs wider. He reached to tug one of the pillows out from behind Sirius’s head, and Sirius arched up so Remus could slide it under his lower back. Remus patted his hip, thumbing over the bone that protruded, stark under his pale skin.

Next he uncorked the vial, drizzling some oil over his fingers and bringing them down to slide between Sirius’s cheeks, his fingertips catching slightly on Sirius’s entrance. Bringing his fingers back up, he drizzled some more oil on his first two fingers, before he replaced the cork with his left hand and tossed the bottle onto the bed. Remus brought his fingers back to Sirius’s asshole, thumb rubbing circles in his taint while his index finger stroked the puckered muscles and then slowly but firmly pressed inwards. Sirius exhaled at the intrusion, trying to relax and feel the drag of Remus’s finger inside of him. Remus slowly rotated his finger halfway around, before turning it back up, wiggling the tip slightly until he found Sirius’s prostate.

“Fuuuckkkk, more,” Sirius begged, hips squirming at the sensation. Remus nodded and slid out a little, nudging Sirius’s entrance with his middle finger and slowly pushing it in to meet the index finger. Remus fingered Sirius with complete precision and dedication, each move calculated and deliberate and oh so good. Sirius moaned as Remus twisted and scissored him open, relentlessly massaging his prostate one moment, and completely avoiding it the next, fingers stroking anywhere and everywhere but the one place Sirius needed it.

After a while Sirius shifted, blissed out at the sensation of Remus’s three fingers pumping inside of him. Remus had been adding more and more lube intermittently and every time he pushed in or pulled out, the movement of his fingers elicited an obscene, wet sound.

“I’m ready for your cock,” Sirius said, gasping a bit as Remus crooked a finger just so.

“You’re only at three, let me get you to four.”

“Wanna feel it, wanna feel you.”

“You will, I promise,” Remus said, leaning forward and bracing his left elbow by Sirius’s head to kiss him long and slow. Then he pulled back and returned his attention to his preparations, watching his fingers twist and pull at Sirius’s hole. He tucked his pinky and slid four fingers in, rotating them carefully and feeling a bead of oil trickle slowly down his hand and around his wrist. After what seemed like an eternity, with sensations blanketing his body and pulsing at his core, Remus pulled his fingers out, leaving only the tips of his index and middle fingers hooked inside, toying with Sirus’s rim.

“How do you want it?” he asked, looking down at Sirius’s face, eyes heavily lidded with pleasure.

“Can I ride you?” Sirius asked.

“Mmm, yes please,” Remus replied, sliding his fingers out entirely.

Remus lost his balance trying to switch spots with Sirius, and banged him in the ribs with his elbow. “Fuck, sorry,” he hissed, rubbing Sirius’s side and then grimacing when he realized he’d smeared lube all over him.

“Don’t worry, Moony, you know I don’t mind getting a bit sticky,” Sirius laughed, and tangled his fingers with Remus’s, oil squelching between them. After a bit more shuffling Remus managed to situate himself comfortably on the bed, and Sirius straddled him, rising up on his knees so that he was hovering over Remus’s dick. He swept his hair back, bundling it into a knot at the base of his neck, and then uncapped the lube to drizzle an ample amount over Remus’s cock. Sirius shuffled forward a little, bracing himself with one hand planted on Remus’s chest, the other grasping the base of his dick as he slowly lowered himself onto it. He worked his hips in little adjustments, trying to find the right angle as Remus’s head pushed into his hole, thick and hot and maddeningly good. Remus brought his hands up to Sirius’s hips to hold him steady as he sank down.

“Fuck,” Remus groaned, thumbs digging in to Sirius’s flesh as his cock was slowly swallowed by Sirius’s tight, wet heat. Remus bent his knees, and planted his feet on the mattress, pulling them closer to his body to change the angle, and allow Sirius to lean back against his legs for support.

“Oh, that’s good, thanks,” Sirius panted, sliding down a couple more inches. Sirius bit his lip as he worked his hips, pulling up and then circling down, each time taking more and more of Remus’s cock until, after a few minutes of careful concentration, he was fully seated.

“Mmmm,” he moaned, shifting against Remus’s pelvis, eyes closed, relishing in the sensation of being full of Remus’s fat cock. “Fuck I’ve missed this.” He reached back and lightly slapped Remus’s balls, causing the other boy to hiss through his teeth, and then opened his eyes, smirking down.

“Ready?” he asked, and Remus nodded, eyes dark with arousal. Sirius began circling his hips in earnest, bouncing up and down and moaning at the slide of Remus’s dick inside him. He leaned back, bracing his hands on Remus’s bent knees and whimpered, trying to get the angle just right. Remus tugged him forward a bit, and slowly began to pump his hips, trying to time his thrusts with Sirius’s movements. When they managed to sync up their movements they both groaned, and Sirius let out a breathless laugh.

“I can’t believe that of all my seduction attempts, not hexing a couple of Slytherins is what got you to snap.”

“What can I say,” Remus replied, staring at where his cock was disappearing into Sirius’s body. “I like a man with some restraint.”

“Oh yeah?” Sirius asked, a wicked smile spreading across his face. “You like it when I display some restraint?” Sirius immediately stilled, arse flush with Remus’s body, bringing his hands down to pluck at Remus’s nipples. Remus whined, but he had no leverage to keep thrusting, and Sirius just smirked down at him. His hole was fluttering slightly around the base of Remus’s cock, but he refused to move, letting out a contented sigh.

“How’s that for some restraint, hmm?” Sirius asked. “Is this turning you on, Remus?”

“Merlin, don’t be cruel,” Remus groaned, reaching out to lightly tug at Sirius’s cock.

“I’m just giving you a taste of your own medicine,” Sirius replied, smirking.

Remus growled and drew his knees up further, knocking Sirius’s balance and forcing him to fall forward. Then Remus wrapped an arm around the other boy’s shoulder, trapping him against his his chest, while pumping his hips, slamming his dick into Sirius.

“Oh fuck,” Sirius moaned into the crook of Remus’s neck. “Fuck, Rem, don’t stop.”

Remus set a relentless pace, and Sirius lay splayed across his chest, boneless, as his arse was pounded. Remus turned his face to nuzzle into Sirius’s neck, biting down and sucking a mark just below his ear.

“Sirius, I’m close,” he choked out after a while, hips still pistoning with deep, firm strokes. Sirius nodded, reduced to whimpers, and Remus slid a hand between them to grasp Sirius’s cock, trapped between their bellies. He wrapped his fingers around it, toying with Sirius’s foreskin and twisting them down the shaft, and he felt a hitch in Sirius’s breath, hot against the side of his face.

“Coming,” Sirius whimpered, and Remus felt his dick clench up and release, splattering warm liquid between their bodies. Remus removed his fingers from Sirius’s dick, and brought both hands down to his arse, spreading his cheeks and tracing the rim of Sirius’s hole, spread open so wide by his dick. Remus could feel his own restraint waning, and he slammed in even harder, grunting with every thrust until he felt his orgasm welling up inside him. He came, pulsing deep inside Sirius, and his entire body tensed, and then relaxed, sinking into the mattress, pressed down by the weight of Sirius on top of him.

Remus felt the flutter of Sirius’s eyelashes against his cheek, and the slow unfurling of a smile across his face. Sirius exhaled a sigh of contentment, reaching back to gently ease Remus’s spent prick out, before he slid off onto his side, moulding his body along Remus’s and wrapping and arm and a leg over him, drawing him close. Remus turned his face nudging Sirius’s nose with his until Sirius tilted his face and their lips met in a soft, sweet kiss.

“Thank you,” Remus mumbled, eyes fluttering shut.

Sirius kissed him again, and then pulled back, brushing Remus’s sweaty curls off his forehead. “I love you,” he whispered, drinking in the sight of Remus’s face, relaxed and free of all worries.

“Love you too,” Remus mumbled, opening one bleary eye to look at Sirius, before closing it again, and letting out a deep breath.

 

The next two weeks flew by, and before they knew it, the Marauders were finished with their OWLs, another full moon, and were on the train home. After exams Remus had devised a prank for the farewell feast, and the boys charmed all of the silverware to be afraid of mouths, causing each piece to scream and contort away, flinging food everywhere whenever someone tried to use them to eat. While most of the faculty spelled theirs back to normal, Dumbledore had smiled and picked up a porkchop, piling some mash onto it, and eaten it with his hands. The boys lost it laughing about the look on McGonagall's face when she’d looked over to see him using biscuits to scoop large piles of custard into his mouth.

James and Peter were recounting a blow-by-blow of Snape managing to get gravy all over his face, while Remus read, Sirius’s head in his lap. After a while Sirius began to fuss, wanting Remus to pay him some more attention, so Remus sank his fingers into his hair and started scratching his scalp.

“I’m hungry,” Peter announced after they’d been on the train for about an hour. “Anyone want to come with me to find the trolley?”

“Sure,” James said, standing to join him. “You two want anything?”

“No thanks,” Remus replied. Sirius didn’t say anything, but gestured from them both to leave, so the two boys exited the compartment, leaving Remus and Sirius alone.

Remus put his book down when they were gone, sliding his fingers out of Sirius’s hair to reach for his bag. Sirius whined, but Remus just swatted at him.

“I’ve got something here for you, you spoiled mutt.”

“A present?” Sirius sat upright, eyes bright with excitement.

“Indeed,” Remus said, pulling a small package wrapped in a page of the _Daily Prophet_ out from the bottom of his bag.

Sirius snatched it from him instantly and tore it open to reveal a black leather collar with a shiny silver buckle. A metal tag dangled from it, with the words ‘Property of R. J. Lupin’ engraved in block letters.

“Woah!” Sirius exclaimed, immediately bringing it up to his neck. He twisted around, and Remus helped him fasten it, checking to make sure that it wasn’t too tight.

“I know you’re bummed that I’m going camping with my dad when I get home, and won’t be able to come stay at James’s for a month, so I wanted to get you something to remind you of me, and to keep you in check,” Remus said, smirking at the last bit.

“Wicked,” Sirius said, looking at his reflection in the window.

“It also can adjust when you transform into Padfoot,” Remus said, and Sirius dropped his hand from where he’d been fingering the soft leather.

“Really!?” he asked, and before Remus could blink he transformed into a dog, and then back again.

“Sirius!” Remus exclaimed, smacking his bicep. “What are you doing transforming like that? Anyone could have walked by!”

Sirius just grinned, unperturbed, and leaned in to give Remus a sloppy kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of Remus’s neck. “It’s perfect.”

“I just thought that, well. You’ve been doing so well not losing your temper lately, or doing anything stupid and dangerous.” Sirius nodded, and Remus continued. “And even though it’s going to blow, it’ll probably be good for us to be apart for a bit this summer, just because of how hectic and intense everything’s been.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Sirius mumbled, gaze dropping to his lap.

“I’m going to miss you too, Pads,” Remus said, tilting Sirius’s face back up so he was looking in his eyes again. “Which is why I got you this, so you always have a reminder of you you belong to.”

“And if I feel myself start to lose my temper, I can calm myself down, and remember to not do anything too stupid.” Sirius said.

“Exactly,” Remus said, smiling.

“Thanks, Moony,” Sirius said, swinging a leg over Remus’s lap, straddling him and kissing him deeply just as the door to the compartment slid back open.

“Ugh, again, are you serious?” James’s groused, plopping back onto his seat. Sirius pulled away from Remus’s lips and twisted around to look at him, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“Well, Prongs. As a matter of fact, I-”

“No!” Peter interrupted, “that joke is so old, don’t you dare.”

Remus burst into laughter, followed by Sirius, and soon all four boys were doubled over, enjoying the last moments of their year together.

 


End file.
